Sick child shitty boss

[Ladyscratt]

I have been in my job for about 4 weeks and sadly my DD was ill this weekend, I had to keep her off today and my boss was really funny about it this morning.

I am fuming!

Rang HR and they said I would have to make a complaint to the board of Governors (I work in a school) about it. Yeah, like they are going to do anything.

What can I do as this will probably happen again at some point. Kids get sick!

It's a bit unfortunate that your daughter was sick so soon into the new job but that's one of the things about kids - they just won't coordinate their sickness with your days off! When you say your boss was funny and you are now going to consider a complaint what kind of things did she say to you about your absence? I mean, did she just indicate that it was inconvenient or was she pressuring you to go in to work? Will you be able to go to work tomorrow? If so, I think I would try to calm the waters by speaking to her, emphasising that you had no choice but you appreciate it is difficult in a school environment where the children can't be left to look after themselves, maybe outline what you could do in future if your dd is sick again - do you have family, a partner who can help?

No family as such, my mother is too ill herself to look after my DD and DH left for London today till possibly Wed. There was lots of sighing and "isn't there anyone who could look after her?" never had this problem before, all my other employers have understood.

I am really angry about it. She has never had kids herself and she works in a school??

Thinking about having a word tomorrow and if she doesn't like it I will walk... my child comes first. She can stick her job!!

Erm, at the risk of being rather blunt, I think you need to get off your high horse a little bit...! Kids get sick, yes, but at the same time they have employed you to do a job and they have a right to expect you to be there, sick child or not.

I would suggest - reassure them that you will only ever do this in a real emergency, and that you are getting XYZ back up plans in place. For example, can your DP/DH take time off next time round? Any parents who might be able to help?

You do have the legal right to take emergency time off to look after sick kids (unpaid), but only "reasonable" emergency time off - eg to get her to the doc, not to stay off for a few days to look after her.

I think (well, I hope) your employer will be understanding as long as they see you are doing everything you can to get to work. They will be less understanding if you take the approach that kids get sick and they should just accept that you're not coming in...

I'm not sure what your role in the school is, if it is working with students then it may have ben very difficult for the HT to get cover for you at short notice. Agree that, as a manager, she probably should have been a little less blunt in making her displeasure known but maybe you were the third person to phone in unable to make it work today? Just as you were having a difficult day, maybe she was too? Also you said you have only been there about 4 weeks so she may be worried that this is the start of a regular pattern. Honestly, I think I would chalk this one up to experience and just blow her socks off in the coming weeks with your efficiency!

Thank you Annh, nice that someone has been a bit more understanding to my situation here.

My DH works away a lot and I am left to sort it all out and work too. I have no one to give me any support or help when things like this happen so getting off my high horse is a bit difficult!

For info I am in admin so no it is not difficult to get cover really.

If anyone else wishes to slate me don't bother. I am not in the mood. Just a bit of understanding might be nice.

Ladyscratt, I do have every sympathy with you, I can see it's tremendously difficult to try and do everything.

I was really trying to say, I think you will get further with your employer if you can see it from their point of view as well.

I do sympathise with you - but if you want this dealt with more constructively in future, it may help to be less volatile (complaining straight away to HR), less focussed on your side of the perspective (yes, you had an emergency, but you need to acknowledge that it does put pressure on the employer), and think ahead, and look for a source of emergency back-up, especially if your DH often works away and can't therefore take it in turns with you t cover for a sick child.

Tell your employers that you will look fo possible back-up, and when possible DH will cover, that you will of course take the time as holiday, or else make up the hours, and be seen to compromise, not just yell your rights!

"There was lots of sighing and "isn't there anyone who could look after her?" "

If that's all, in other words you were able to take the time off and haven't been penalised in any way, then I think being so angry you complained to HR is an over the top reaction tbh.

Yes you are entitled to take unpaid time off in an emergency, but other than a bit of sighing from your boss you were able to do that without problems.

DumpyOldWoman's advice is good. If a bit of sighing and your boss asking a perfectly reasonable question about whether you had any other options is going to result in you going over your boss's head complaining to HR and wanting to tell her to 'stick her job', you may have problems in any job.

You've only been there 4 weeks, so you've not built up any goodwill yet, and getting a greater level of understanding and no questions asked from a boss who doesn't know you or know how reliable you are yet would be a big ask.