My job is who I am and now its gone!

[NotMoreBountyCrap]

I am a regular who has name changed for fear of being recognised

Our baby wasn't planned as I was doing a 200 mile communte from our lovley house in the north to my work down south (living in rented 4 days a week). I am a police officer- its all I have ever wanted to be and it took me years to get in (as I had mental illness as a child).

Anyway- I can't do the commute anymore and there is no money to seccond me to a closer office (as its not homeoffice so I can't just transfer) so I am going to have to resign.

There is no way we can move down south- our 4 bed house would get us nothing down there and my DP couldn't do his job there.

I have been applying for my local homeoffice force (as a new police officer as they don't accept transferees from my force) and I have got in

However- I have just recieved an email saying all recruitment is suspended due to the financial crisis etc so they will let us know when they are recruiting again.

I have a feeling it is going to be a LONG time- from the sounds of things.

So what do I do now? the change of not being a copper will be huge- its really a massive thing in my identity. We can afford me to be a SAHM- but I really don't want to- what job should I do- knowing its only going to be temporary?Sorry for maoning- I just don't have anybody who I can talk to about this

sorry that should read- I have got into my local force and I am waiting for a start date but have just recieved the email

do they suggest you hang on and wait? or are they saying nothing on the subject?

when you say you got in,have you had interviews,tests etc?

Really feel for you. I tried to go back to work after having ds1 but was made redundant so couldn't go back. You will adjust.

In the meantime, until they are recruiting again (as they've just said its a time delay rather than a no ) can you look at being a PCSO? would that be an option of a volunteer ( are they specials)?. Or how about applying to be a magistrate? Get involved in something local an advocate for special needs children, or school governor. Hope something comes along.

I've passed everyhting and its a case of hang on and wait- the only thing is a lot of the stuff runs out- i.e I'll have to redo fitness and medical (both won't be a problem as I keep fit anyway)

Everything in the police is being put on hold (I think until they know how much their budgets will be cut) so PSCO's will be the same as will specials I think (as its the training that costs the money) also if I was to volunteer I would have to pay for childcare which isn't possible.

School Govner sounds really good and magistrates- I will look into those.

I suppose a big thing for me will be when I tell everyone I'm not a policeofficer ATM- I know it sound pathetic but all of my friends kids love quizzing me on things/ trying on my unifrom etc. I feel lost

But you are a police officer you are just in the process of changing forces! You still can tell people you are a police officer, just having a career break until new opportunity comes along.

It may be a way of using this career break to explore other things that you previously wouldn't of had time to do.

There may be some part time work that you could do with dc's around. Until your position comes up. It may be a good idea to keep hounding the hr department / recruitment department of the new force so they remember you and keep you updated with any new developments. It may also be worth highlighting that you won't need as much training as a normal new recruit as you are an experienced officer.

Can you ask to meet with someone from recruitment to see if there is a back door way in?

Thanks LK, I am quite pally with the recruitment person- as she knows my job history and because the medical took ages. She actually told me of all this before the official email as she knew I was on mat leave until July and was origionally meant to start there in June.

They have been really helpful but there's no back way in I'm afraid.

However it has really helped talking it through- thanks

Perhaps you could look at volunteering in other areas such as Youth Justice, Probation Service or Social Services until the Police start recruiting again. For some of these positions you might be able to get help with childcare expenses, or look at volunteering in the evenings when your DH is around for childcare, perhaps perhaps Victim Support?

There are lots of extremely relevant voluntary opportunities you can do to fill in the gap until you can go back to the Police again.

It might not be that long a wait. I know Cheshire Constabulary are still recruiting Specials as I've sent some people over there recently. Don't know about paid officers. Would this be any closer for you?

Congratulations on your pregnancy! Am I correct in understanding that this will be your first baby? If so, don't worry about your ego being tied up with your job, you will have a whole new identity soon enough.

Look at the first year off as maternity leave.

After that, I still think that in your shoes I would be tempted to be a SAHM for a bit but do an OU course at the same time, one like this maybe.

I am sure you will get a job in your local constabulary soon enough.

Brennann- I've had my dd she's 9 mpnths old and I also already have that degree

They may have a ban on new recruitment but what about maternity / sickness cover / retirement replacements? It may be for different hours than you like, but could be a way back in - keep in touch with their HR and let them know you'd be willing to do the odd shift here and there or temporary cover. Good luck whatever, and I hope you get your job soon.

LOL - well I am impressed if that helps at all!

Being a Mum changes utterly who we are, how we see ourselves and how others see us. Given that your baby was not planned at this stage in your career / life, you are probably still coming to terms with what this means for you and to have your back up plan taken away from you is a huge shock. For many, me included, adapting to being a Mum is a constant state. How I feel changes as my children change, as how I see myself and how I would like to see myself changes, as with the weather - sometimes quite literally!

Rethink where you are now, what you enjoy about what you are doing now and what you don't. Love the things you enjoy and see what you can do about the things you don't. Set a plan for the future, even if it is love the life you are in for now and seek to change in the future. Did you enjoy doing your degree? Could you do any further study?

Good luck - and I'm sorry your plan to do what you decided was best for your family didn't work for now. It's a pretty hard one to deal with.