Freaking out about 16 weeks maternity leave - can anyone reassure me that I can cope?

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Hi all, I am only 8 weeks pregnant but already getting very stressed about maternity leave. At my company here in Switzerland we are given 2 weeks leave before due date and 16 weeks after.

I just don't know how I will cope with going back to work so early. My husband is a student at the moment so I have no choice but to go back to work. The plan is that the baby will go into nursery (where my dd already is and which is excellent) 40% which is the minimum and DH will be house-husband the rest of the time. So the bean will be with a primary caregiver.

My dd is 5 and I already feel awful being away from her so much. I usually get home, knackered, around 6-6.30 in the evening. How on earth am I going to cope with a baby as well?

I am really starting to think I have made a huge mistake in getting pregnant, even though I've been longing for a 2nd for 4 years.

Of course, I could solve the problem by spending my days on mumsnet and getting fired

Hi,

I went back to work my my DS was 16 weeks (my choice) and had a DD of 3 years. It was fine - yes I was knackered all the time but that was because DS was always ill and could not sleep (had no such probs when back at work with DD age 4 months).
I guess the difference for me was that I didn't like being at home with a baby (please don't judge me ) and I wasn't forced into going back so early. I also had childcare in my own home (a nanny) so didn't have to dress DS etc.
No doubt though that whatever the circumstances it's hard work but will get better eventually.

S.

I had a similar amount of paid maternity leave in the UK (before it was increased to current levels). I saved up holiday and took that prior to the birth, started maternity leave the week my DS was born, took maternity leave and then added some holiday and unpaid leave on the end.

You probably won't have the option of unpaid leave if your DH is a student but at least he will be looking after the children and your home for three days a week so you shouldn't have to come home from work and start again on housework, just spend some time with the children.

I would try not to get stressed about your maternity leave now (possibly easier said then done) and enjoy the time you have with your family outside work.

Mat Leave in UK used to be much shorter. I returned 3 days per week when my first was 12 weeks - was totally the norm then, most of us did.
You'll be fine. I carried on bf too, no problem. Easier in many ways than starting to leave them at about a year old when they're clingy.

Thanks so much for all your replies. It is just reassuring to know that other women have done this and managed.

With my dd I was a SAHM for 2 and a half years, and to be honest I hated it. I would almost prefer working full time to not working at all. During the day, I am pretty positive and ok with it, it's just in the middle of the night I wake up and worry.

My dh is a fabulous dad and great with dd, so I know he'll be fine. He is less good at housework but does all the cooking and shopping which is fab.

It's just good to get this off my chest, so thanks again.

Hi there,

Huge congratulations on your pregnancy.

I'm in France and I took the mininum leave of 8 weeks - I went back to work pt when my dd was 6 weeks old.

She is now 12 weeks old and I have just gone back to full-time.

I, like you, stressed hugely during the early part of my pregnancy. Don't let anything spoil the excitement of early pregnancy.

My DH works and has pretty outrageous hours.

Oh and we both work 6 days a week...

We are coping. Yes, it's hard to be apart from my baby, but like you I want to work and I love my job (although it is incredibly stressful right now, nothing to do with work load and/or mat leave).

I think it's easier to go back after a shorter break - in a practical sense - becaue there is less to catch up on and the readjustment should be easier.

You will be fine. Enjoy the excitement of it all, enjoy your babies and (try to) enjoy your work.

MIne are now 9 an 10 well adjusted loving and smart. I also had to return to work at that point.

Take heart, you will be the best you will be, because you want to be.

All will be well.

Enjoy your time off.

I was in the same position as you, went back to work when my DD2 was 16 weeks old, DH had been made redundant when i was 7 months pregnant, so i had to half my maternity leave and go back early than i would have liked. DH looked after both our DD 1 and 2 half of the week. I won't lie to you, i found myself envious, actually jealous or maybe resentful is probably a better word, at the time he had with them that i didn't, and I struggled with the lack of sleep and the difficulty of BF at home and expressing at work, the fact that i looked like a walking, uncordinated zombie, and the fear that i was letting my DD2 down.....i think some of it is postnatal hormones and some if it is the shift in your personal priorities......however, 8 months on and i've managed to get back to some degree of normality........my advice would be, rant and rave about the unfairness of it all to anyone who will listen, cry at your keyboard whenever you feel like it, invest in waterproof mascara, take everyday as it comes, and know that it abolutely does get better ;)