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Original poster

Commute with a baby?

18 replies

YellowRoseofTexas · 19/04/2010 17:44

I'm going to start back to work in August, when DS will be nine months. I have found a fantastic nursery, just ten minutes walk from my work. So, DS would commute with me--only a 20 minute bus ride. In the mornings should be no problem, as I'm at the first stop and there will always get a spot for the pram. On the way back though, we'll be catching a bus at rush hour in the middle of Camden. Is this madness to think we could do this daily? I could wear a baby sling but then he'd be pressed up against strangers, and as he gets bigger that will be more and more difficult.

I really like this nursery, and love that I would be so nearby if I'm needed--could even pop over on my lunch break. But would it just be a lot better go with a childminder in my neighborhood? (DH isn't keen on the childminder idea, but could probably be persuaded. I've not had much luck with nurseries closer to home.)

Anyway, would really appreciate input from more experienced mums. Don't want to sign up for a childcare situation that is going to be a nightmare commute for me and the little one! Or maybe I'm being silly, and this is totally doable??

OP posts:
BlameItOnTheBogey · 19/04/2010 17:47

Very quickly as I have to head out but I do this in central London and it is fine. Bit nerve racking the first few times and now I don't even think about it and love that ds is close by during the day.

GFatemybaby · 19/04/2010 17:47

Maybe do a 'trial run' now and see how you feel?

I had the option of 'popping in' when my DD was at nursery but never did as I felt it wasn't fair to leave her twice in one day IYKYIM.

I did commute with her in the car and it worked fine, but I can see your circumstances are different.

LynetteScavo · 19/04/2010 17:49

You say he would be pressed up against strangers, but surely you would be offered a seat if you had a baby with you.

I would look into child minders, though. You might find a fantastic one.

MartinlovesDebi · 19/04/2010 17:55

It probably will be stressful. People can be awful about small children being on transport during rush hour. But they can also be kind. As he gets bigger you may need to take a buggy, plus that will provide him with a safe space and you won't worry so much about him being shoved. And you probably won't go and visit him during your lunch hour - nurseries are very routiney and they're not likely to encourage you in this.

BUT if you are happy with the nursery that is a huge plus point, plus you'll be able to spend more time with him and get to him quicker if he is unwell.

BertieBotts · 19/04/2010 17:56

If you are banking on there being a spot for the pram on the way there, remember you will have the pram on the way home too. How often are the buses? Would it be practical to just wait for the next one if the buggy space is full?

If you had a sling on, do you think people might be more likely to give you a seat? Perhaps you could go upstairs? Either way make sure you get a decent sling, not a baby bjorn. Once they get bigger, you can use a back carry, I can carry my 18mo on my back for hours, but for some reason standing e.g. on a bus or waiting at a bus stop is not as comfortable as walking, it must be to do with posture etc. If I take him on a bus then I tend to hold him on my lap now. (You could always take a small umbrella fold buggy when he is old enough and use a sling up until this point)

pagwatch · 19/04/2010 17:59

DH and I did this with DS1 15 years ago albeit on the train. many days were great but the bad days were just awful. DS1 vomitted all over DH one morning and he was like that stuck in a train. If there was the slightest problem that I would normally just sigh and get on with the implications with a baby were awful.
We had too many trip when DS1 was crying the whole was, shat just as we got on and stank the train out, vomitted, was overly hot etc etc.

We managed three months then got a nanny...

Original poster
YellowRoseofTexas · 19/04/2010 18:58

BlameIt, thanks for letting me know you manage...that's encouraging! Are people fairly friendly about you trying to get on the bus with a buggy at rush hour, or do you just tune out the grumbling?

I suppose a trial run is really the only way to find out!

GFatemybaby, you raise a good point. I can see how it might be upsetting for the LO to pop in at lunch, depending on what stage they're in. So maybe being near enough to visit at lunch isn't as big of a "pro" for this nursery. Anybody want to share their experience with visiting a LO at nursery mid-day?

OP posts:
GFatemybaby · 19/04/2010 19:05

I had DD on site at nursery at work, then when I moved location I found a brilliant childminder near home. Both worked really well.

I think the idea that you're close if LO is ill is a bit of a moot point as hopefully it doesn't happen often. Even if it does it would hopefully be a case of 'DC is off colour' rather than a mad dash to pick up a severley ailing child.

My DD has been in childcare 2 days a week for 2 years and I can count on one hand the amount of 'please collect early' phonecalls.

Be interesting to know whether lunchtime visiting would work for you.

I do remember taking DD out in her pushchair once for lunch by a pond when she was at nursery ... but she just slept through the whole thing! Didn't really happen for us.

Original poster
YellowRoseofTexas · 19/04/2010 19:06

Bertie, that's probably right that if I wore a sling someone would give me a seat. I rode this bus while pregnant and most of the time someone would be kind. Even if I had to stand, it would only be 20 min. But as pagwatch says, some evenings he'll surely be tired and crying or with a dirty nappy, and then I'm sure that will be a very LONG 20 minutes.

I suppose I could always try doing this nursery with commute, and if it is a nightmare, try to find a childminder near me. Taking a small folding buggy, with a sling for backup, might be the way to go...

OP posts:
littlebrownmouse · 19/04/2010 19:11

You need to think also, would it work with a toddler? I'm not sure what the answer to this is but your baby won't be a baby forever and before you know it you'll be on a bus in the rush hour with a tired two or three year old, no seat, no buggy and child trying to sit on floor between feet etc. I don't commute or live in London but remember that taking DS round London, on tube etc was easier in a buggy than when he was walking.

Original poster
YellowRoseofTexas · 19/04/2010 19:11

GF, good to know that having to rush to collect the LO early doesn't happen often. As for lunchtime visits, I really love the idea, but the reality is probably that I'll be eating at my desk, rushing through the day to make sure I can manage to leave on time and go get him at nursery!

OP posts:
Original poster
YellowRoseofTexas · 19/04/2010 19:16

Mmm, littlebrownmouse, that is a good point. I suppose they only get harder to handle in that way, and I want to make sure whatever I do, I can continue with for at least a couple of years. BlameIt, or anyone else, have you done a busy public transport commute with a toddler?

OP posts:
BlameItOnTheBogey · 20/04/2010 08:07

Just coming back to this now. I started communting when ds was 9 months. He's now two and we are still doing it (actually I also now have a 4 month old in a sling as well!). It really is fine. Buy a small pushchair to make life easier for everyone. People are pretty good on the whole. I don't know if I have just developed a really thick skin but I don't think many people mind. I have once had someone tell me that it wasn't the best idea to bring a pushchair on the tube at rush hour, I smiled and said; 'if there was any other option....' and that was it.

I agree with an earlier poster who said that in reality you are unlikely to go and see your child during the day as it unsettles them. The only exception to this is that when ds was teething, nursery couldn't administer nurofen which seemed to be the only thing that worked. I was able to pop along and give him some as needed.

Original poster
YellowRoseofTexas · 20/04/2010 13:52

Thanks so much, I'm encouraged. Will give it a few trial runs!

OP posts:
brennannbooth · 21/04/2010 21:09

I think you will be OK as the commute on the way in is the crucial one and you have several back-up possibilities for the commute home:
(a) wait for another bus or two
(b) get a black cab
(c) I think you could probably walk home if you really had to

LadyBiscuit · 21/04/2010 21:13

I live in Camden. FGS get a sling. People won't hate you if you have a sling. A pram takes up the space of two people on the bus and everyone will hate you. I still carry my DS in a sling sometimes when it's convenient and he is 3. If you don't have far to walk, sling it the whole way. People will give you their seat. If you take a pram on they'll hate you

parofleurmapu · 01/05/2010 21:42

Hi I live in Holland I have an hour commute to work every day on train and then bus and same on way back. My DD is 2 years old. I have a mei tai hip carrier.
Yes its hard some days but people are friendly. I dont take a buggy as too much hassle but i do take a special bag with snacks, drinks, and a book every day. We have some lovely bonding sessions and chats on our commutes. We even sing!!! I know some commuters may resent having a toddler singing Old macdonald at 7.30am in the morning but hey I have no choice!!!

I would say go for it its not that bad at all and as I said lovely bonding time.

lowrib · 01/05/2010 21:56

I'd say it's not madness to consider it at all. I'm going to be doing a half hour train ride with DS from September.

I can't use a sling anymore though - DS was 2 stone before he turned 1!

Camden's not like the City anyway where people look are children (and dogs) as if they've just landed from outer space. Camden is a residential area. People with kids there must have to get about somehow!

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