Concerned about way sis ter is being treated by her boss, advice please

[minxofmancunia]

Sister works for a large charity around homelessness issues.

She's very working and is doing v well, however she's also massively anxious and over seld analytical!

She's had 2 single days off sick in 7 months and has been pulled about it saying they're v concerned and it's just not the done thing in that organisition. boss gave example of how she'd only had 1 days off in 6 years and her bodd onyl 1 in 12. I personally think this is unfair and out of order. it's NOT chronic abseteeism and on both occassions she was ill and went back in before being ready due to feeling pressured.

She's been ill a few more times but has dragged herself in anyway.

She's also been told she'd not "smart enough" but also that they can't wear suits as it gives out the wrong message. She wears smart trouser and fitted tops/blouses with low heeled boots. Absolutely fine IMO, when she asked what she should wear they wouldn't give her an answer just told her to smarted up but under no circumstnaces wear a suit as it gives out the wrong message to clients .

Also her boss (female) has made comments about her appearance in front of senori colleagues and in meetigns etc.

I'm concerend she's being subtly bullied and due to her chronic issues with sef confidence I don't want it to escalate.

She's asked my advoce and I've told her what NHS policy is. However bullying is rife in the NHS and I'm totally disaffacetd with NHS ways of working so prob not in the best position to give advice!

Any thoughts?

Apols for shocking typos and grammar in a hurry!

bumping this for you although I don't have much advice. What a dreadful situation - it sounds like explicit bullying to me. Your sister must be finding this all very stressful

Sounds like bullying to me as well.......do you think this boss feels threatened by your sister and is trying to eliminate competition, perhaps?

I suspect that electra, sh's very hard working and very inoovative.

she was severely bullied in her last post (as were many others by a female manager) and it was based completely on the fact that this woman felt threatened. My sister was being asked by very senior people in probation/police etc to do traning programmes for them as they were so impressed by her (working with young people with alcohol probs at the time) and as a result she was micro managed to the point of extinction. She enede up having 2 weeks off sick due to stress after taking it for 2 years.

I think the awful thing is that it might be happening all over again.

Previous to these 2 jobs she was a drungs/alcohol wroker and had absolutely no probs in her relationships with colleagues so I'm sure it's more to do with these women than her.

Well from what I hear, work environments are increasingly 'cut throat' these days. This is what my 'career girl' friends report.

Does she have a union she could go to? I think in her position I would be looking closely at my contract and would perhaps seek legal advice. Nobody should have to put up with this. It must be awful to feel that your boss is gunning for you.

It sounds awful for your sister Minx. Make sure she takes note of every incident. Back to work interviews after sickness absence take place regularly but the discussions are not very pleasant.

You said your sister was working well with the police in her previous role, is this something she could look into as an escape route, doing a independant consultancy role?

Sounds very unpleasant, your poor sister. Bullying is always a tricky one to deal with, particularly when it's a line manager doing it. What does your sister actually want to happen? Just thinking about options, she could raise a grievance but she needs to think about whether that would realistically stop the bullying, I don't know. Raising a grievance particularly against a person's line manager can sometimes be counter-productive and stressful. For employees being bullied I usually suggest they address this directly with the bully as a first step. It's very hard but this woman is doing this because she can, and standing up to her politely and firmly might be the best bet, as least as a first step. Might your sister feel able to do that?

Thanks for your advice. Part of the problem is she's only been in this job 7 months and has been on a probationary period so has wanted to do her best and not piss people off.

She's had her probation signed off now though so she could try to be more assertive, she's very anxious though and eager to please, perhaps the reason she gets treated this way. I used to be the same now I'm a lot more stroppy!

I'll advise her to keep a diary of incidents and join a union. Also check with hr re their sickness policy.

she also does hours and hours of unpaid overtime as she wants to be seen to have a strong work ethic, it's kind of an unspoken rule that you do this where she is and they seem to have this dreadful culture of presenteeism. She works 10 hours most days, if not more, I get the feeling if she didn't she'd be penalised, and i think this is part of the reason she's always ill.

TBH, the job doesn't sound like much of a catch. Long hours and a bitch of a boss?
I think she should start actively looking to move. That might also give her more confidence while she's there?