Take the very well-paying new job or pursue my plan of downsizing?? Any words of wisdom?

[takethemoneyandrun]

Have namechanged for obvious reasons (and please don't out me if you guess who I am) - am talking about sickening amounts of dosh which I'm slightly embarrassed about.

Anyway, I have a well-paid job which is not dissimilar to the one I was doing before or the one before that so I'm not massively motivated. My DP is self-employed and is pretty easy going about where we live and we have been thinking seriously about selling up (we have a flat in London) and moving to the country. We would be in a position to pretty much buy a much bigger house outright which would mean neither of us would have to work very long hours and I would be able to spend the whole of the summer hols with our kids. BUT I have just been told I have a very good chance of securing an extremely well-paying job which would be a really exciting new challenge for me. I haven't even told my DP about it yet. I am really keen on pursuing my dream but part of me thinks that this a too good an opportunity to pass up and it's worth at least exploring it further.

I'm just having my head turned by the cash aren't I? Please tell me that I'm being ridiculous.

I would find out more and discuss with DH if I were you.

Really only you know what you are feeling is the best way to go, just go with your gut feel.

Well you aint got the job yet, have you?

However it's all to do with what makes you happy/fulfilled/motivated - and only you know the answer to that.

I have no idea what area of work you are in

but I have observed that in many professions the higher up the ladder people are, the better placed they are to negotiate the hours.

is it at all feasible to do the exciting job part-time? or have every summer off? or something?

will the job come round again, and would you be in with a chance if you downsized for a while, then came back?

what if you got the exciting job and did it for two years - what would your options look like then?

Try the new job for a while. If it doesn't work out, you can chase the dream. Meanwhile your CV has been satisfactorily 'bumped' upwards in salary / expertise terms should you ever nned to go mainstream again.

5 years ago I was offered an amazing opportunity which I turned down for practical reasons - i.e. DH travelled, long hours, perhaps we would have DC3, I would never see the kids etc. etc.

We had DC3, I have gone on to do something totally different and currently earn bog all but have a fairly easy and happy family life.

I still think what if, maybe I should have just bloody gone for it and worked around the issues and of course if it hadn't worked I could have left. I do regret not taking the chance and seeing if I/we would make it work. SO if I had my time again I would jump at it. And not just for the money (although some more of that would be good at the minute) but I have that wee 'but I could have been a contender' voice chuntering away there every so often...

No I haven't got it but I've never not got a job I've been interviewed for (I know that sounds horribly arrogant but I have very specific skills which are hard to find and I'm good at interviews). I think I'm scared of the downsizing thing - of having a lot less money and a totally different life.

And yes, sorry, only I know really what I want. I'm scared of the gut feeling - right now, I'm massively flattered but I don't know.

I don't want to talk to my DP about it because I don't want him to think I'm getting cold feet about the move until I know what's actually on offer. And even then, I'm not sure it's the right thing for our family to stay where we are.

Actually thinking it about it now I really regret not taking the chance when offered.

Bloody hell I don't think I fully realised that until just then.

Sorry I am not helping much am I!

Well if you accept the job you could always resign later on but if you don't accept it you'll never know.

Dilemma, but serious amounts of wedge should soften the decision making process ;-)

Well you're being honest gomez which is a good thing. The timing is great if we move this summer - the DC are at a good point in their education to move and still young enough that their lives won't be massively disrupted (I moved around a lot as a child and I know that it gets harder and harder the older you get).

I don't think it is the sort of job I could do on a part time basis - where I could take summers off for example. And it would mean really putting my all into it because that's what they would expect for the money they're paying. There will be no sloping off early.

I think I might be answering my own question here as I write - yes, it's a brilliant brilliant opportunity and if I didn't have DC then I would leap at it but I do have DC and the point of our moving is to have a better life for all of us. And that is about having the time to do things together, rather than the money without the time.

Maybe it is worth talking to them about a bit more although we are planning on moving so far away that commuting wouldn't be an option.

If you moved to the country would you both not work? What about moving to the country and taking the job. So dh becomes a stay at home dad,kids settled into new school at right age and you stay in London through the week and work for a while in the new job and pocket the dosh. If you become indespensible they might end up letting you work from the country part of the time.
If you took the job and stayed in London it doesn't soundlike you'd see much of the children through the week. So why not work long hours monday to thurs and then get to the country early on friday.

We had a similar situation in that DH was headhunted to a role with silly money. He was incredibly flattered, and with the same logic as the other posters suggest you employ, he took it (opportunity, leave if you hate it etc). At a huge cost...the salary might have been attractive but the rest of the job wasn't. They absolutely wanted their pound of flesh, and the cost in working hours, travel, responsibility etc just wasn't worth that premium salary. Resigned after less than a year.

I think you pretty much know the answer. If you were thinking about downsizing before the new role was dangled, why would you want to increase your hours, commitment etc? The money is distracting you - if you really think the job will be exciting, challenging etc, then you would think about accepting it with a 'normal' salary. If you can't say yes to that, you are doing it just for the money. Which does mean you have to accept the consequences on your family life.

Ime people who are employed and earn vast salary do so at the expense of their family life. It's called wanting a pound of flesh. It just depends on what us mire important to you.

I would take the job, see what it is like and if it's not working out resign and downsize. You 'll always wonder whether it would have worked out.