Want to work but not sure how?

[clacketyclack]

I'm not sure if I'm missing something as it seems ridiculous, but I'm struggling to see how it is worth it me working part time.

I have a 13 month old DD and took redundancy from my old position when I left for maternity leave. I retrained and I recently gained a very good job in a high profile position, but it is only working on Sundays (it's at a national paper working on Monday's edition so not as odd as it sounds). The benefit is that I don't have to pay for childcare and it pays really well being only one day. The downside is it's really boring, I feel I hardly see DP and we can't go away at the weekend etc, and I am feeling quite lonely and bored in the week.

I'd like to ideally work 3 days a week to have a good balance, I have two interviews next week for positions in my old career that I really want. They pay fairly well, but after the ridiculous cost of childcare (£50+ a day for a childminder), travel and student loan deductions, I'm ending up with very little left.

I'm so torn as the money I get at the moment really helps, but I'm not happy and I really want to return to my old career.

Am I missing something? We earn too much combined to be entitled to any help with childcare, but as we live in London our mortgage and outgoings are substantial.

Am I being selfish and should I just accept that I'm lucky for the Sunday job? I don't know what's for the best and if I do get offered one of the jobs, it won't be a simple decision. I feel quite down like I've lost my identity and I'm worried that the break in my career will mean I will become unemployable if I do wait any longer to go back.

I love my daughter with all my heart, but she is really vivacious and sociable, and I think she would love to be around other children for a few days. Am I terrible for wanting a career as well?

Sorry a bit rambled and all over the place, just feeling very confused by it all.

Definitely go for the job you want, rather than be stuck in a job you're bored with, and which totally screws up your weekends too.

IME you just have to bite the bullet with childcare when your children are pre-school. £50 per day is absolutely the norm. And many people are stuck in that trap of earning too much to qualify for any tax credits or help, but in reality they are actually struggling paying the bills.

When out three were small, we looked as though we were earning very decent money on paper, but take out nursery fees for two, wraparound school care for the eldest, mortgage, bills.... we had far less money left than most people we knew who only had one parent working! It sucks!

However - I don't think you can put a price on your fulfilment, and also if you feel your dd will benefit from being with other children, then look on it as giving her an advantage too. Mine benefited hugely from nursery and loved it, so I just looked on it as working to enable them to go to a wonderful nursery that we couldn't have afforded on one income.

And it does get better - the childcare costs don't last forever. Your long term career prospects will also be much brighter if you've got back into a job several days a week doing something you're passionate about, rather than filling in with something that saves on childcare but isn't fulfilling you.

I have stayed at home (childcare costs couldn't be covered by my salary, 55£ a day- ridiculous! - but that is a separate topic) and I have devoted the best part of the last 6 years thinking about this.I have had ups and downs, I had depressions, I had phases when I went for interviews and didn't get the jobs in the end, I was very very jealous of working mums at times as I felt they had the independence I lost.
On the other hand, I have thoroughly enjoyed being with my daughter, she has as well- I have just had a second one, and somehow, I have calmed down about the whole thing, realised that 4-5 years before they go to school goes so quick, and now I am actually not that afraid of the future with a gap in my cv. I have done lots in the meantime ( a few part time jobs, a few courses) and my brain didn't stop. I am now enrolling for an online degree.
My conclusion is that the best deal is part time work. It gives you best of both- sanity of going and integrating with the real world, but at the same time, you are giving your kids quality time and you have time for them basically. It is not financially rewarding to begin with, but I suppose it is not all about finance.
I live in London too and I can hear what you're saying with the cost and things, but 3 days a week is actually a good deal in my view.