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How sexist/unacceptable was this?

2 replies

lisbey · 24/03/2010 19:20

I've been almost the only woman at work for that last 20+ years. Usually I enjoy being one of the lads and genuinely don't feel I've been discriminated against, but something happened last week that really made me see red and it's still bothering me.

A young woman from another department had had many telephone dealings with one of our senior managers (who happens to be my line manager) and he had remarked how lovely she was. On Friday she visited the office and beforehand he had remarked on how much he was looking forward to meeting this lovely young thing.

Anyway when she turned up, she was indeed lovely, but rather plain to look at.

As boss and visitor walked through the office, he had to look at the floor to avoid all the other men in the office who were snickering about how her appearance didn't live up to expectations.

This resulted in me barking something about it being no wonder there were few women in the organisation, leaving the room and kicking the wall by the lifts (which hurt!)

They say they were taking the mickey out of him, not her and that she was unaware of their snickering. I think it's unlikely she didn't at least know something was going on.

I know I overreacted, I have always been much more offended at slights to others than those to myself, but I have also felt that since this manager took over (9 mths ago) he has had more time for some of the others than me - although I took this to mean he just didn't think I was very good - never occurred to me it might be because I'm female.

OP posts:
Kathyjelly · 24/03/2010 20:39

I don't think that's easy to pin down. As an outsider (who's worked in IT all my life so mostly men) it just sounds like your boss has waxed lyrical about this lady, with the result the other guys were expecting Penelope Cruz and when she wasn't they're laughing at his inability to see it how it is.

Pretty fatuous I know but not an intended slight on her I don't think or on you. It just sounds like your boss is a bit shallow when it comes to women.

I'd leave well alone. If he were to pass you over for training or something because you're female, well that's a completely different matter

LoveBeingAMummy · 25/03/2010 11:38

I have been involved in a similar situation to your boss, we all spoke to this man who had a lovely oz accent and we all thought he must be very dreamy, then one day he had to work out of our office .
Not anyhelp i'm sure.

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