Go back or not?

[puffinnuffin]

I'm currently on maternity leave and am a music teacher in a my daughters school. Baby has his name down for nursery but will be virtually 4 when he goes (October birthday. There is only a September start there.

The school is a 2 minute drive from home, and is very popular with waiting lists and has a fantastic reputation. It's really hard to get a job there and I had to jump through lots of hoops to get it with fierce competition. It's only 7 hours teaching during term time. The downside is my current timetable has a big gap on one day where I teach from 9am-10.am, then nothing until 1.15pm. I don't get paid for the hours I'm not teaching, so will have to find childcare for a whole day for my baby who will be 11 months then. This means paying to work if my baby goes into a nursery.The other 2 days are just afternoons so that's not too bad. There's a possibility grandparents could help but MIL is 86 (although very fit-she drives does keep fit, travels to Africa alone!).

The school just won't change the timetable to avoid gaps. I know it's hard juggling subjects but surely not impossible to change 1 class?

Do I keep a job I love and muddle through for the next couple of years, possibly at a loss until baby goes to school there? It would be the most fantastic job for when both my children are at school there. Or, do I become a SAHM (which my heart says I should do)? At the moment I feel really guilty considering leaving DS, but I may not feel this when he is 11 months?? I have to hand my notice in during the next week or so if not going back in September.

I'm going round and round in knots. Any friendly advice is welcome please! This is my first post.

Only you can make that decision.

For me, after a full time career, I have found being a SAHM lonely, isolating and at times boring.

If you get the childcare right, I don't think a 1yo is less happy than when at home with mum.

I'd stick with the job you love. You'll still get some mornings with your little one and you'll be more fulfilled. But it has to be your decision.

Hi, what a dilemma for you - only you can make this decision as it clearly has its pros and cons. If the school is so near, your kids should easily get into it anyway. Its hard when you have your kids because you want to spend lots of time with them plus having to pay for childcare is quite a big deal too - tricky to rely on someone who's 86 too!
My kids are 8 & 6 and at school now but I had the same dilemma when I first had them but was lucky to find a great work at home opportunity giving me the best of both worlds, in fact I carried my son around on my hip while working sometimes! If you are looking for something like this click here for more info.
I wish you the best of luck with your decision.

I gave up what I loved to SAH, I have never regretted it. Sacrificing a job is better than sacrificing time with the kids (for me, everyone's different of course). Listen to your heart!! Jobs can be over rated and if you are working for nothing practically and loosing time with the kids (when you want to be home), it's a no brainer!!

Thank you for your replies. I forgot to say my 7 year old daughter is already at this school. She had to go a waiting list at first before getting in.

I would muddle through and keep your hand in. It sounds like a lovely job for a mum. Can anyone help you out for the morning hour if the timetable really is immovable (pretty unreasonable tho - can you push for a juggle?) - can the GPs help for example?then baby can go into childcare for the afternoon? You love the job, you are working sensible hours and I think everyone is probably benefitting from the balance - except you while you're juggling the arrangements that is! But I am sure you will get there. Like others say only you can make the decision but if you love the job, sounds like it's worth fighting for!

If it's such a fantastic job, how will you feel if you lose it? What happens when both children are in school? Will you be able to cope with no income coming from you in the long term if you can't find another job with hours that complement your children's school hours?

Any chance of a babysitting swap with a friend? They look after your baby for a couple of hours on the day you have the split shift, and you look after their baby for a couple of hours on another day - even if they don't work to have some time to go shopping, run errands without a child would be fantastic!

But you say that you want to be at home - this is what your heart says etc - so is your question just a way to justify the decision already made - you will get another job!

Sounds like, although in the short term you'd love to be a SAHM, you know that longer term this job would be fantastic (and it does sound it I must say).

Given that, it seems worth doing everything possible to keep it - it's only short term.

Are there perhaps CMs who would be willing to take the baby just for the morning lesson? or as chitchat suggests, a friend who could do a swap? Any chance of your other half doing the 9-10 slot with the baby?

If not, then ultimately yes I think it would be worth paying for nursery even if that does mean you "pay to work" short term.

I think stay in the job. It sounds fantastic to be honest and a great job for a mother.

Fair enough the timetabling on the one day is a bit of a sod - however I am sure you may be able to find a flexible childminder. Or you could use that time to go home and do some housework/cooking/read a magazine or whatever, so you can have some real quality time with your DCs when you pick them up.

Plus, is that timetable fixed forever or is it likely to change in the next academic year? The lessons could change at some point and become more suitable.

Of course only you can make the choise to SAH or work, however this seems like a good balance, and will keep you up to date with your career at a good school, which will stand you in good stead when your DCs go to school FT. Will be well worth it in the long run I think.

I'd stick with the job, even if you are working just to pay the childcare for a couple of years. The time passes very quickly, and it sounds like a good job for the long term.

Do you have admin that you can do in the 10am - 1.15pm gap so that you're not trying to fit it in at other times?

Could you find a childminder, who may be prepared to only charge for the hours you need?

Is there another nursery or pre-school where he could go at 2.5?

Thanks everyone. It really helps to get different view points.

It looks like I'm now sorted. DH will do the morning slot and go into work late. The 3 afternoons are going to be covered by a combination of Granparents who will come to my house, so in reality I won't be away from my baby more than 2-3 hours at a time.
I think I have to give it ago for at least a term then review the situation.

Thanks again for your help.