should be happy to get a job, just feel flat...

[omaoma]

so was made redundant at the point i would have gone back to work six months ago. for the last 3 months i have been desperate to get a part-time job, partly to keep my brain alive (am no earth mother) and partly for the money. finally landed a really good freelance contract which pays ridiculously well and should be madly preparing for my first day on monday as it's quite high powered and i've been slobbing at home for a year. instead i just feel unmotivated and procrastinate-y, not even enjoying being with DD this week, in fact finding it hard to engage with her at all - or with anything... I just want it all to go away. what can i do to give myself a kick up the arse? is this just back-to-work anxiety? i can't afford to lose this job through being crap - help!

I think it is back to work anxiety, but it's quite strange. I felt a bit like that last week, going for interviews. Then after the interviews i felt great, very positive and motivated, and then back down again. Had 2nd interview yesterday and started to get ready just an hour before! and that included getting DS to nursery! but then it was all fine.
What do you actually have to do to get yourself organised? you could just get your clothes ready, might be a start?!

I think I know what you mean...

You know what I would do by way of prep?

Nothing ... except for going to the hairdressers, buying a new pair of shoes etc and making sure all the childcare arrangements are covered.

There is a good business reason for this - you don't start supplying to your new customer until Monday.

Oh dear, not a good sign!

Maybe you don't really want to go. Try not to worry about it for now. Just get yourself ready and go. If you still feel the same a couple of weeks in, chuck it in. There's no point in doing something that makes you miserable. Life is too short. Either another another job will come along or you will find a way to stay at home without the need of a formal job. Don't worry. Life is full of wonderful surprises.

thank you all for your messages, i didn't mean to post and run! i concur with the idea of taking the job as it comes but i have never actually had LACK of nerves before... usually i'm really stressing out and so keen to do prep (in this instance it means reading a load of stuff and trying to remember it as I'll be required to start calling people in my work persona on the first day). I think I am actually stressed as my eczema is going crazy, just my head is remaining strangely aloof.

Speckle - wish I could chuck the job if it doesn't work but finances are too tight. I kind of need to like it or i'll just have to lump it.

Do you need to get a job right away? Could be that this really isn't the right one! It might be worth waiting to see what else comes along.

Trust your intuition. It is normally right!