Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Flip

Original poster

Difficulties settling in with childminder

17 replies

bunnyfrance · 17/03/2010 12:20

Hello,

I have to go back to work on 1st April - DS (just on 6 months now) will be going to a childminder.

So, this week we started the adaptation period. I stayed with him on Monday and Tuesday, then today I left him alone with her for the first time. The plan was to leave him 2 hours....she called me after 40 minutes saying he was inconsolable and I went back to fetch him. We'll try again on Friday. It's true that this was the first time I'd left him at someone else's house (he's been looked after by a babysitter before with no problems, but at home), but maybe she could have persevered a bit longer and he might have calmed down?

Now I'm feeling really stressed that he won't have settled in by the time I go back to work.

Does anyone have experience of this? Am I panicking needlessly? Do I still have enough time for him to settle in? Anyone else in the same boat?

Thanks!

OP posts:

roslily · 17/03/2010 21:36

Hmm, I think she should have persevered a bit longer. First time is left ds (6months) he cried after I had gone, but he settled after a bit. He still has bad days (we are two weeks in) but mostly good. Keep trying I would

MrsCMAW · 18/03/2010 08:37

Just a thought but does he have a special toy that he could take with him - sort of security blanket idea?

I'd stick it out a bit longer if I were you - good luck!

hoxtonbabe · 18/03/2010 12:37

If the childminder is calling you after 40 minutes then I would rethink using her, this should be something she should be used to and 2hours is quite normal for a settling in period for both nursery and childminder, my worry for you is what if baby doesnt settle in the time you hope, especially as he is only going 2 days per week , will she be calling you up to come and get him whilst at work? I think you should stick at it as she may have just been a little worried about him on the first day, but if she keeps calling before the 2hours then I would look elsewhere.

Good luck :-)

Original poster

bunnyfrance · 18/03/2010 19:06

Thanks for your replies, everyone. I'm leaving him again tomorrow morning, and if she calls me back again, I think I will look elsewhere!

OP posts:

onceinabluemoon · 27/03/2010 12:11

How did it go?

Original poster

bunnyfrance · 29/03/2010 20:23

It's all worked out very well, to our relief. DS spent 4 half-days last week and 1 almost full day today (7 hours).

I think the bad reaction the first day was because I'd never left him with anyone before, and he didn't know that I'd come back. Once he knew that, he was fine. He loves watching the 2 other kids and they enjoy playing with him.

Only battle now is that he refuses to take the bottle...he only has solids and water when I'm not there and waits for me to come back and breastfeed....

OP posts:

MrsCMAW · 30/03/2010 16:27

Glad to hear it's working out ok. Re. not taking the bottle, my LO wouldn't take it and wouldn't and wouldn't and eventually I tried about 10 types of bottle and he liked ONE - the Mam one, which has a flattened teat - supposedly more like a nipple in the baby's mouth.

I'd persevere with the different types until you find one he's happy with - good luck!

Gabriella13 · 30/03/2010 20:16

Hi,

My LO is breastfed and she is due to start in a nursery in one month's time. I've been occassionally giving her my breastmilk in a bottle so she can take it when necessary. May be you should do the same, give one of his milkfeeds on your days off in a bottle and this way he won't mind taking it at his childminder's.

HTH, G

Gabriella13 · 30/03/2010 20:18

forgot to mention, it wasn't the type of bottle my LO didn't like it was the whole bottle/non-breast concept she didn't get on with so I think your LO might be doing the same. he is thinking why bother with a bottle when mummy is right here. if he doesn't take a bottle from you get your DH to give it to him. G

Original poster

bunnyfrance · 31/03/2010 09:14

Hi,
Gabriella, MrsCMAW, thanks for your replies. Believe me, we've tried everything - different teats, EBM, formula, different people giving the bottle when I've been miles away (DH, babysitter, childminder, grandmother, friends, even the cleaning lady has had a go), different times of day, hungry, not hungry.

I've basically given up and I think DS knows this!

I've also heard from various sources that it's more often boys who refuse the bottle. Might be interesting to do a mumsnet survey?!

OP posts:

Gabriella13 · 31/03/2010 09:50

Oh dear, sounds like you have it covered LOL. Your DS is clearly not going to be fooled! And it is not like you can cut down on the amount of feeds, not at this age I wouldn't have thought. Don't know what else to suggest really. I will let you know if I think of something. G

MrsCMAW · 31/03/2010 14:46

Have you tried a sippy cup? Might be worth a shot?

SalFresco · 31/03/2010 16:05

My DS1 also refused a bottle, and DS2 looks to be the same!

When DS1 was at the CM's, he just didn't have milk. He ate his meals, and drank water from a cup, but no milk. He was 8/9 months at the time, and it didn't seem to be a problem. He had lots of feeds when I was there.

tsom · 31/03/2010 22:52

my ds1 and 2 refused bottles but both could drink from one of those slanty sippy cups (?doidy) at around 6 months. Whether your ds will agree to drink milk from it may be another matter of course.

Mystro · 09/04/2010 12:26

Bunnyfrance - my DD refused a bottle. We tried EVERYTHING and nothing would persuade her, ever. I spent so much on different bottles and teats, etc etc, sippy cups, everything, different formulas etc etc, pumping Breastmilk, DH feeding her whilst I was out. Nothing worked - if the milk wasn't from the boob she wasn't having it. In the end I went absolutely cold turkey on BF and thought maybe she'd then take a bottle. No way. Basically, once she stopped BF she has rarely drunk milk since, although she will have it on cereal etc. I'm only telling you this because I got infuriated with people telling me try this, or this and this, and it never worked. And I got worried about her lack of milk situation, but we tried to compensate with other foods/yoghurts etc, and she seems fine! So just wanted to reassure you with that in case your DS is as stubborn as my DD!

Original poster

bunnyfrance · 09/04/2010 15:07

Hi Mystro,

Thanks for your message and the reassurance! How old was your DD when you stopped BF? My DS will be 7 months next week. Yesterday he spent his first full day at the childminder. He drank nothing all day (apparently she tried water and formula in a bottle), and only ate a bit of apple and pear purée. His nappy was dry when I changed it and I'm really worried he's getting dehydrated. He seemed happy enough otherwise but had a HUGE feed when we got home. Hardly surprising!

He will take a few sips from a cup with me (not enough to replace a feed, but better than nothing). I asked the CM to try the cup and she looked very . They're SO bottle orientated in France it's infuriating!

OP posts:

chitchat07 · 13/04/2010 11:46

bunnyfrance - I needed to get DS to take a bottle at 4 1/2 months because I needed to leave him with a babysitter while I attended a function so we tried to establish it as a once a day feed a week prior. He refused to take the bottle at first, but when he had no choice he eventually gave in.

It took missing 2 feeds though, and he had his 3rd feed early - fed quite frequently at that age. After that first time he was then happy to take the bottle - although the look of utter joy on his face when he was being BF was gorgeous!

Flip