what do I say to the "are you going to have more children" question?

[skinsl]

I have DS (2) and been lucky enough to stay at home since he was born. We planned another quite quickly, but 2 miscarriages later, the plan now is for me to go back to work, as we need the money, but we are still TTC.
I have 2 interviews next week. What do I say if they ask the question. I would like to be honest and say we are TTC, but it's a bit personal and certainly DO NOT want to go into detail about m/c.
Will they ask, are they allowed to ask. I know officially it's discrimination, but it would put a lot of employers off.

They shouldn't ask because they are leaving themselves open to claims of discrimination if they do. Personally I would lie and say no if I was asked that question.

Employers are definately not allowed to ask! I have never heard of an employer asking a personal question like that....

They are not allowed to ask, no. So you don't need to worry too much. Seriously. They are not allowed to ask you.

If you feel they are trying to talk around the topic then maybe just a "oh I'm ready to come back to work now after my time off with my son" or even "we have our hands full" or some such nonsense if that makes you feel better. Truthful but there's truly no need to say any more and it makes no difference - someone who is not ttc could just as easily end up (unexpectedly) needing mat leave and someone who is could end up not getting pg for a while and not needing it.

I'm trying to be rational but it really upsets me that this is still an issue for so many employers.

I would be surprised if they ask you. Most employers aren't quite that stupid these days.

I think the most likely thing is that they won't ask. It absolutely would be discrimination for them to ask you anything like this and most employers nowadays know this and would not dream of asking. Also you should in no way volunteer the information yourself!

My response would be 'why do you need to know?' - there's nothing about TTC which makes you less able to do a job...

Thanks.

It's just my first job since leaving to have DS, and I resigned, I didn't get maternity leave, so i thought the family situation might come up.
And I'm not going back to get maternity leave either. If I haven't been there long enough, I know I won't get it. That's not an issue at all.

Well it's not an issue for you and they are not permitted to make it an issue for them.

Good luck with the interview.

And with ttc.

I know it's not a factor, but you will get maternity leave. Everyone does now. Even if you start work just before your baby is due, you get a year maternity leave and a job to come back to.

As long as you are not pregnant before you start work you will also get maternity pay.

Say "I've had a lovely time at home with DS but now I'm ready to come back to work and he's ready to go to nursery/CM and develop independence" and leave it at that. All of that is true, from your post.

I did interview one woman who said right up front "I have had two children and my family is complete now". All I asked for was a brief summary of her work experience!

If they asked, I'd be inclined to say "I'm not sure. How many children do you have? Are you planning any more?"

That should make the point (1) that it's a personal not a work question and (2) if they have kids, they have demonstrated it's possible to do both.

As everyone has said, they shouldn't ask. Did they in the end OP?

I would always recommend a diffusing answer if they do "oh, we've got our hands full" or something. Tends to be easier than 'naff off'!

As far as I ma aware they can't ask straight out. They can ask 'Is there anything in your home / personal life that could effect your job?' - but they have to ask men and women the same question.
FYI - I asked that at an interview and the young lady told me that her mother had cancer and had about 18 months to live but when the time came, she would probably want some time off to be with her mum prior and to help out everything out after - Reader I employed her - partially based on her honesty and committment.

Had a couple of interviews now, and no-one asked the question!! closest they got was to asking me how I would be able to manage the early shift 7-4, which is fair enough

That's fine. Applies to most people that question - could be travel or whatever. Good luck!

They are allowed to ask, but they have to ask everyone as part of the interview process. Its only discrimination if they ask women and not men or they only ask women of a certain age.

If they are a decent employer, they will not ask. If they ask that sort of question, then I wouldn't touch them with a barge pole, they will obviously not treat you well in the long run.

Hi,

Although the employers aren't supposed to ask this sort of questions most of them do one way or another. This is reality, some just think they have to know even though it might be crossing the line. To avoid any bad feeling even before you got your foot in the door I would just say you have a lovely little boy who is now at an age to be independent and you are very keen to get back into work. If you say "this is personal etc etc" it might sound defensive and they won't consider employing due to risk. I'd be as relaxed as possible about it, you know they arent supposed to ask but they do just answer lightly and move onto the next question etc.
HTH, G

I would be shocked it an employer asked this question. Women have children but they still make up a large section of the workforce. In any case, you may not know yourself of you are having any more children. It seems unlikely they would ask.