waiting for hypothetical baby and not motivated to find full timet work

[supadoula]

I was wondering if there were many women like me. DD is now 6 and DS is 4. They are at school full time but because I can't get rid of the idea of having another baby, I don't want to go to work full time and feel the corporate world has nothing to offer (i am not losing my identity in motherhood!).
before DC, I had a full time job in the City with big bonuses and great perks but now I can't find anything that is worth doing rather than looking after my children.
Problem is that DH is not keen on baby number 3 and that age is against me (i'm 39).

Anybody in the same situation? How do I get out of it?

There is a great article in Red magazine this month, "we've had it all and now we want to give some of it back". I'm a surprised SAHM of three and can't think of anything I would rather do than just look after my kids. I'm not sure how I went from a career focussed take no prisoners woman to someone who would love to stay home, do the school run, make curtains (well beyond me!!) and bake cakes (the kids eat them but I won't be selling them!!). You don't need a third child to justify why you want to be a Mum to your children. (but don't let that stop you if you both agree that number 3 is the way to go). If you don't want to go back to work right now, think about it, talk to your DH about it and wait for the day where you think, now it's time to go back to work. I'm hoping that day coincides with the day I see a job advertised that is from 10 till 2, three days a week, highly paid, highly interesting and local to me (and there goes the pig, flying past the window) - until that day comes, I'll be found doing the school run and playing tig in the garden.

Thank you for your lovely message DeirdreB.
It is reassuring that there are people like me around!
There is so much pressure to get back to work but what it is not what matters to me most now. Yes, please pass on this lovely job description as I think I totally have the qualifications and experience for it
Today, DC and I are having a quiet duvet day. Their grandmother died two weeks ago and I had to leave them for 4 days. All they want is pottering around and the occasional hug and I am grateful I can do just that!

Sorry you have lost your Mum / MIL - I'm sure that is affecting how you feel about things right now.

Agree that there is a kind of assumption that one goes back to work when the kids are at school, and if you are not going back to work, you should at least be writing a book, starting your own £1bn business from your kitchen or running the PTA, volunteering at the local hospital, making your own curtains, bread, clothes?.

Or we could just be.... and be happy for a while.

I've posted this before but I think we do have it all, the choice to put our family and our careers in whatever priority suits right now and the real possibility of changing the balance when our priorities change. There are always compromises, but if they are by choice, they are easier to deal with.

My mum is of the "stuck at home all those years" generation whereas for me it's a real choice to be here and a privilege.

Take your time, weigh up the options and make a choice, remember that nobody's life is really perfect, it's how we deal with the compromises that influences how happy we are with the outcomes. And, if it doesn't work, look at the whole thing again.