How does this work?

[rmc77]

I just don't know how everyone else manages this. I have a 2 yo and baby about to turn one. I haven't worked during the day since I had my DD (2 yo). Just worked in a gym / taught French at night when my husband can watch the kids. I have just seen a job similar to the one I had pre children advertised and it was part time. Part time jobs in this sector (buying) are like snow in the sahara so I sent my CV in and now am looking at childcare. I have rung our local nursery. There's no places for a year for the 2 year old and the one year old would cost £36 per day plus £2.50 per hour between 7.30 and 9 and 4.30 and 6. so that's another £7.50 so £43.50 per day. So £130.50 a week just for him. I still would need to work out what to do with my older daughter who is due her funded place (5 mornings) from August. I would maybe be able to change this to 8 - 5 and pay the extra which would perhaps only be about £50 a week but that's from August not now. But whichever way we're looking at over £1000 before August and probably over £700 after. Remember this is to work 3 days...what sort of jobs and salaries do people have to make this feasible? I have no family who can help. I guess it's stick with my minimum wage job in the gym for the foreseeable. I just don't get how others can afford to work. Maybe it's my fault for having them close together.

In your position i would hang fire on going back to any form of work that required paid childcare until school age.

Only because a grand a month would probably make it not worth your while?

I went back when dd was 5 months old, my childcare then was circa £900 per month, I was low waged, in receipt of tax credits, but I was single and it worked out better for me to work, not necessarily financially at first but certainly in the long term.

I don't think I could have done it with two though.
What about training? A degree or diploma on the OU?
Step up the tutoring perhaps to pay for it?

No advice, just to let you know I have been there and I sympathise. I took a career break because it was costing me so much to keep 2 children in childcare that it wasn't worth the hassle of going out to work. I was on a very reasonable salary at the time so didn't get any help with childcare fees. I know some people get a large proportion of their childcare costs paid for through Tax Credits - would you be entitled to any help?

Thanks itsmeitsmeolord I'm glad someone's out there as I feel really down about this,. I've no right, not when you did it alone. Maybe I'll try to step up the tutoring anyway as a income generator. just fed up with whining kids.that's terrible when loads of mums would break their neck to be a sahm even though you're skint and everyone looks down on you.

claire - thanks maybe I need to look at this. my income and this job I've seen would be about 21K pro rata.

Does anyone else get fed up with being a SAHM? I actually feel jealous of my husband going to work? Is this mad???

oh god yes, i sometimes feel so jealous of dh leaving me

I took up an evening class, two nights a week and tbh i'm not too fussed with the qualifcation at the moment it has become my social life!

I'm also applying for jobs when dh is working but there arent many about!

I'm hoping it will get easier when they are at school, but the both regularly seem to get ill and i do wonder how the hell i would explain that to my boss if i was working.

Oh I'm sorry you're feeling so down. Of course you have a right though, being at home with two children is hard. I couldn't do it.

www.entitledto.co.uk (or .com can't remember which) has a calculator that you can use to see if you would get any benefits to help with childcare.

The getting ill thing gets better after nursery IMO. Its worse when they are little and they experience all those bugs for the first time.

I also think that more employers now understand a little better about sick children so I wouldn't worry too much about that side of things.

Why do you want to go back now? Is it financial or are you feeling isolated and fed up?

It sounds like the second one from your posts, in which case a degree or diploma or similar could be a really good social tool for you. You could get some time out for you and be prepared for returning to work later on when it is more feasible financially?
Colleges and unis have creches, depending on your income you can get help with the fees.They are generally cheaper than other childcare.

Or you could go down the part time route and do evening classes, again, you would get a social boost and time to just be you.

Thanks for your post and support. I thought you'd all think I was mad. I might look into a couple of things. it's a bit for the money (as fed of having none!) but lots for self esteem. I think too about the getting ill part as I really think you need a back up plan. have just been isolated with conjunctivitus so that probably doesn't help.

You're not mad!

I'm a single sahm with a 2-yr-old. When I got myself together after leaving my ex-h when lo was 2 months old, I started looking for part time work at the level I left on mat leave. Public sector was the best option, but every post I interviewed for went to internal candidates. So I started looking at positions a bit lower and then I was over-qualified. I went for loads of interviews and got heartily fed up.

And then I did the calculations and discovered it wasn't worth it for the money.

But it's the self-esteem.

So I started my own business! It's great - I work as much as I want, when I want, and organise my events so that I can take lo with me - toddler groups etc - so he gets to play, I get to meet lots of nice new people and earn money without forking out for childcare!

My Mum has lo one day a week now as the business is really starting to take off (and I'm always looking to recruit so let me know if you're interested!) and I really enjoy the day, even though I'm just on the phone and in front of the laptop working.

It'll all be ok in the end, but it is an uphill struggle. And of course things will change again when they go to school - I have friends leaving work when their lo is 4 ish, as they realise that they'll have so little available time when their lo goes to school!

Thanks WheresMyWaistgone that's quite interesting. What is it you do? I think I'd like to be self employed. Then maybe like you if it took off I could afford some childcare.
Agh just tried to give them their tea and neither would eat it. It's enough to make you scream. DD is really difficult at the mo but I suppose work or not you still have to try and feed them and get your house wrecked. My mum does not understand this. She is 300 plus miles away and makes out she was earth mother and looks down on mothers who work even tho she went back to work as a headteacher when I was 4 and my Dad filled in the childcaare as his work was based at home. of course they had it easier with the holidays. she sneers at holiday clubs but with my husband working the only way I'll ever work before their 16 is if i use some childcare at some point (after school or holiday clubs etc).

Have you considered doing something like Usborne? I'm an Usborne rep and it is very handy for fitting around looking after my DS - I can do admin during the day while he's playing or napping, and do events in evenings/at weekends. I also do toddler groups and take him with me, which he loves!

Message me if you want to know more - [email protected]

RMC - you have to do it your way and not worry about your Mum - things were very different for them when we were small!

Email me and I'll send you info: [email protected].

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