This time I feel the guilt :-(

[Schulte]

Am due to go back next Monday, after a year of ML. I had no trouble going back after DD1. This time, I feel very different. While I would go mad being a SAHM with a baby and a 3yr old, I feel guilty about leaving both girls - especially 10mo DD2 - at nursery and travelling to a job that's over 45 mins away on the train. I keep thinking, what if they need me? I've also had to take a pay cut so I won't actually bring much money home after paying for nursery fees and travel. Plus, things at work have changed a lot so all the people I really enjoyed working with have left and only the dull and grumpy ones are left.

Please tell me it will all be fine

Hi!

Its bad enough going back after a 2 weeks holiday never mind after a year on ml and your hormones are raging!
I'm due to go back on the 30th march after my 3rd dd and am quite dreading it too!

I'm sure you'll be ok and it won't be as bad as you might think it will be!

Let me know how you get on!! xx

It really doesn't help that DD1 keeps saying she doesn't want to go to nursery, and that DD2 cries when I pick her up as if to say, why did you leave me alone mummy?

Oh no they really do know how to pull at the heart strings don't they!
My dd2 hates nursery but keeps asking me when she'll be going to dd1's school, so i'm hoping that in sept it'll be a lot easier! But saying that i got till sept to go so is still a long way off yet!!

Are you going bk to work full time and is that why you feel a bit more guilty this time around!

I would be financially better off going back full time but really haven't the heart to at the moment and plus i'm really broody so think that maybe in the very near future we'll be ttc again!! x

No I am going back 4 days a week - it's what I agreed with work after DD1 was born. I know I find the one day where I have both of them incredibly hard but hope it will get easier as DD2 gets older, starts walking and talking. I am so torn, I feel like I'd be happier finding a better job that will be more challenging and more rewarding and pay better, but then I'd probably have to work full time and the girls would miss me. Ah it's difficult being a mum isn't it?

Def is! Just depends on how you cope with it!! See how you get on and if your still not happy make a change! They say that change is as good as a rest! Do you need to work 4 days a week or can you cut down a bit more to spend more time with your dc!

I think i'm going to get my childbaring days and get them all into school and go into retraining, at the moment i have a job in a contact centre that means i can go in do my job and leave at the end of the day with no hassles or worries and at the moment thats fine for me!! I ideally i'd like to go into midwifery but the training takes up way to much time! x

I'm going back in a few weeks and have actually started having sleepless nights about it. I was a lot better when I went back to work after DD (I think I was craving adult companionship), but this time is a lot different. DD is really good company now, and we all keep busy going to lots of different groups.

I'm not too worried about DS (nearly 1yo) starting nursery as I think he will get a lot out of it. But I feel really guilty about DD (3.5y). She has got really used to us popping to the library, going to music groups, going round friends houses etc etc. I feel like I'm letting her down (although I only work half days). The other day she asked me how she would be able to get to school on her own when I go back to work - I am still going to be taking her btw! But it broke my heart that she seemed to think I wasn't!

Yes DD1 seems very anxious too, although she's gone to nursery throughout my ML so nothing is really going to change for her. She keeps asking about me going back to work, and she's started wetting her pants again.

What I dread most is all those calls from nursery asking me to pick up one or the other of the DDs because they're ill... it must happen twice as often with two of them in daycare?

Oh God I worry about that too. When you're on ML things like them being ill, or having to pick them up cos they've bumped their heads, or taking them for jabs, are just routine. However, when you are back it work it all becomes such a major thing.

My DD and DS are ill at the moment and I actually thought thank god they're ill now and not in a month [bad mother emoticon!].

DD2 has picked up sticky eye in her first week at nursery

Oh no!! I hate sticky eye! dd1 used to have it all the time! Felt like i was toing and froing the doc's all the time!! Hope it clears up soon!

Just had my return to work hours confirmed today!

Hope everyone well!

Maybe you shouild stay at home...?

Well I do consider that option every now and then... but I think staying at home with my two girls would be hell. Not for them, for me

But there are lots of groups and activities to go along to, and you could always set up your own business, like me. I get to work when I want, as much as I want, and as I sell children's books at toddler groups etc, I even get to take ds with me, so no childcare costs! Let me know if you'd like info!

x

Well freelancing would be fairly easy for me, I've done it before, but I always think I'll wait until the girls are that little bit older and at school. Definitely an option.

Well have a look at my website www.little-bookworms.co.uk for all the info! It's fun, and you can arrange what you do around them.

Good luck whatever you decide!

Haha, I am a in completely different position. I am pregnant with No. 2 and will have to take DS1 from childminder to save the cost. I am actually thinking, that he is much happier at childcare (lots of children, lots of toys and activities) than he will be at home with me and a small baby. So, just see it from a different angle? we always fear for something but eventually it works out fine!! To OP ? don?t worry, I am sure your girls will be absolutely fine!

Toja i am with you - creche has been so great for my DD - the only one who was a wreck at first was me ! - but she is a sociable little girl who loves other kids and as a single child i am so happy with the creche and the structure and stimulation she receives there