I could really do with your thoughts and experiences. I seem to have too many options available with regards to returning to work that I can't seem to focus.
In short - I'm currently on an unpaid career break. I have been since last September when I was due to return to work after one year of maternity leave. The latest I can return to work is September 2011. I only have to give one months notice.
I am aware that I have a cracking deal and we can afford for me for take off the entire two years (by using savings to supplement) should this be want we want. However, this will mean that I will have been out of the workplace for over 3 years.
My son will be 2 in July and is great fun. I enjoy being at home with him and we busy ourselves with swimming and a toddler group but I do sometimes think he might benefit from more interaction with other little people and more activities and I don't have many friends in the area so do feel a bit isolated not being at work. I also sometimes worry that I just don't have enough patience to really perform as a SAHM.
However, I just can't seem to make my mind up about when I should return to work. I worry about being out of the workplace too long, I feel guilty at the thought of returning to work before I really have to and having to put my son into childcare. I feel guilty about messing up the routine we now have. I feel resentful at the thought that due to my husbands working hours I will probably have to do nursery drop offs and pick ups. Part of me wants to go back but I have mixed feelings about on what basis? I don't really want to work full-time but think I would resent the drop in income and status if I reduced my hours. I'm at a loss as to the right type of childcare for my son. I think I want him to go to a pre-school type setting but that could mean waiting until at least Jan 2011 when he is 2.5 years.
I have found somewhere which I think I like that will take him from 2 years. It does full days but also sessional care and my only misgiving is that if he is there until 5pm rather than 3.30 as some other kids he may feel like he has been left? Does anyone have experience of this kind of arrangement and the impact on the child? Perhaps I should I consider working school hours to fit in with pre-school and in anticipation for school? But do you get any work done in those hours, or perhaps it feels like you are essentially working full-time but without the renumeration because those extra two hours with your child do not feel like quality time? I would be very grateful for people's experiences of this. I am in the fortunate position that I think work would probably agree to most flexible working arrangements.
Without meaning to sound ungrateful, I'm just trying myself up in knots! I just don't seem to accept the situation and say I'm going to be a home until he is three but at the same time don't have any clear idea what would be best for us if I returned to work earlier.
I would be very interested to hear your views. I'm just so confused. Many thanks for reading.