just not turned up on day one after mat leave?

[kerryinmumbles]

Has anyone just not returned??? Due back tomorrow - DS is 10 months and not coping with nursery settling sessions...hate my job and on 3 months notice ......anyone actually just not gone in and resigned and dealt with consequences??

HI
Sorry you feel this way. I've not got experience of this but I've have just gone back to work full time so know where you are at.

If you didnt turn up would you have to pay back your mat pay?

No idea about the legal side of things, but you should phone your boss or the HR dept and speak to them. Ask them if it would be possible to defer your return.

Could you manage financially without your job?

I haven't and don't intend to! Guess it would depend on what the consequences would be - for me I'd have to pay back my maty pay, would find it difficult to get back into work at a later date, would not be able to pay mortgage after a couple of months so would find ourselves homeless, would feel terribly guilty at letting down my work colleagues and would not be able to look my partner in the eye. What would the consequences be for you?

hi guys .I didn't qualify for mat pay as hadn't been employed long enough ... we do need the money but if we were careful we could last 6 more months ... I think I will call my boss this afternoon and see about delaying start date - see what he says - I am off for a long walk in the sunshine now - seeking clarity of mind in the fresh air! thanks x

Good points made by Lal.

Whenever you go back its feels like the worse thing in the world in preparation but EVERYONE I have spoken to about this found the experience to be much better than expected.

why not try it for 3 months then decide? Or as someone suggested take some holiday to enable your DC to get more settled at nursery first?

How many days were you meant to be going back for? How about ask your boss if you can start just doing 2 mornings a week and see how you get on from there.

You might find ds becomes more settled and you enjoy a bit of time out but not too much. How about find an alternative childcare arrangement i.e. childminder. In the meantime you could think about what job you would prefer to do and see what's available.

If you have sorted childcare and need to go back to work in 6 months anyway, I wouldn't advise just resigning tomorrow. You may not be able to find another job when you need one (or childcare either).

Do talk to your boss about delaying or phasing-in your return to work and maybe review the situation in a few months time.

Hi - spoke to ACAS and my employer could take me to civil court for lost "monies" etc if I don't actually work my notice period - So I've managed to negotiate 2 days a week to start off with and DH will have DS early am and late pm so DS nursery days are shorter to start off with ... thanks v much for advice and support - as ever honest and extremely helpful !

Might be a bit late, but are you eligible for any parental leave?

Negotiating is smart. Being sued for the lost monies is a very low risk - hard for them to prove that the costs were because you didn't work your notice, not just because you didn't come back (e.g. recruitment costs would have happened anyway). I guess in your job they might argue that they could sue for the difference between agency staff costs and salary...

The biggest issue is that you would have an appalling reference for next time you did want a job, or have to leave your most recent employer off your referees list. Far better to negotiate....

Sorry, misread that as you working in a nursery. The bit about agency staff is if your position cannot be left unfilled - nursery, school, nurse, etc...