Mother in Law guilt :(

[bluegalvin]

My mother in law has always said she doesnt know how people can go back to work and leave their children... but thats exactly what I'm planning!

I have a great job which is permanent with brilliant perks so I never planned to give it up. I plan to work 3 days a week and use a nursery.

She has made me feel incredibly guilty as she has always been a stay at home mum for her children.

Am I being selfish in going back to work? I know money isn't everything but it makes life easier right?

You aren't selfish, you have to do what's best for you and your family, your happiness and sanity is important as well as the happiness of your children. If you would be a happier and better mum for going back to work part time, and if your children are happy to go to nursery (where they will be entertained all day, it's not prison!) then that's what you should do.

I'm afraid you can't please everyone, I'm sure your mil will get used to the idea!

Ignore her. Remember, that there are pros and cons to both working and being a SAHM. I don't think it is as easy to say as one option is better than the other. Obviously, everyone thinks their way is the best way, but actually I think Part time work often offers the best of both worlds.

She's probably jealous!

You have more opportunities than her, and your children will be just as happy and well adjusted!

She's lived her life in the way she wants to and you should live yours how you wish to now. It might be worth making that point now and saying that it would be good if she could accept that you will be doing some things different to the way she did them. After all, time has moved on since she was the Mum of young children. These days it's a pretty risky strategy giving up work altogether as it's very hard to get back in, especially if you want part-time hours.

Don't feel guilty - it is entirely up to you! FWIW, my dd has been in various childcare scenarios since 5 month's old.

She is happy and well adjusted, and people often comment on how lovely, confident and well behaved she is. Obviously I can't claim full credit for this, but I do enjoy the end result

At the end of the day, staying home and dedicating yourself solely to your dcs is a modern invention, propagated by appliance manufacturers from 1950s. It is great if that is what you want to do (not a SAHM basher me) but generations of woman worked, or if they were rich enough, had nannies, and the human race hasn't imploded yet.

Ignore. If you have a great job with brilliant perks you'll regret giving it up My MIL was the same .
In fact, if she's anything like my MIL she'll have opinions on a lot of things - you can't agree with all of them, just nod and smile and do what you think best.

i really dislike my mother in law. take no notice of her remarks and you may feel better...