I am really struggling being back at work.. am I just being wet?!?

[Whiteybaby]

I returned to work p/t in Jan after 9 months off with dd (my 1st). DD is amazingly independant and nursery, although not perfect, seems to be sending her home everyday happy which I am focussing on so I don't have to worry about her. I'm finding it really hard though being back in the office. I'm struggling to focus (get me on mn on a working day !), feel really unconfident and almost in a borderline state of tearfulness all the time. I'm doing three days a week and have to leave at 4.45 to get back for nursery (i'm in office by 8.30 am) and feel like such a part timer compared to my colleagues. Usual hours before would be 8.30 to 6ish although I commute 2.5hrs a day so do use train time for reading reports etc. I've been in my job a while and considered myself pretty good at my job before child but just feel like a bit of a waste of space now. Its almost like I have no idea how to do my job but everyone expects me to be an expert!! I work in professional services in a manager type role. Am I just being a complete sop or is this normal?? I don't know what to do to make this feeling go away.. Anyone else feel / felt this way?

girlafraid I'm so sorry to read your post. I can completely empathise with the brain not being up to the job! That's just how I feel! It sounds like you are having a real fight with the management.. don't really have any advice but wanted to send support. Its hard enough being at work without folk around you making it any more difficult. I've not really had any probs with dd and nursery but everyone I know who struggled at first all said it got better and that the children were fine once mum had left. It just adds to the guilt tho doesn't it . Do you know what you are going to do about the ft proposal? I know it seems impossible (or at least it does to me now) but could you get another job elsewhere or in diff team? If nothing else I hope you are feeling better soon.

Lawmom I am really lucky with my boss. Her dc are 17 and 15 now so was a long time ago for her too but she has been amazing really. She is super professional and I was a little worried she wouldn't understand my less work dedicated approach but so far so good.

I feel the same way too. DD is eight months now and have been back at work for three weeks on a part time basis. I just feel as if I have cotton wool in my brain, lack of confidence in myself etc etc. It is really tought and this is my third....It will get easier ladies xxx

Hello everyone
I wrote a long post on Friday but it didnt load!

Whitey- glad the review went well. 4 days sounds like a great result. Hope it works for you.

Girlafraid- it does sound the same doesnt it I also work in a very male dominated environment but fortunately they take keeping maternity returners happy very seriously due to lack of women in the higher ranks. Having said that, a colleague just resigned when they put her in a full time role when she was only part time.

Welcome Mimiso- cotton wool- thats a familiar feeling

After my long list of illness on my first post, by friday morning my chest had gone infected, I'd lost my voice and rupture my rib muscles (or cracked something!) so I've been on drugs and antibiotics since.
Im having a few days working from my sofa as I cant drive with the meds and Im soo tired.

Ho Hum. I just hope I can shift this thing eventually....

Have a good monday everyone.

Ginger ... ouch! That sounds nasty.. I hope that your sofa office helps and you start feeling better soon. I posted on friday too but it just never turned up! very irritating when you have written a masterpiece
Hope everyone else doing ok. Had a 8am meeting at client office so left home at 6.30 this am leaving dh in charge.. poor dd seemed to grumble in her sleep all night so am pooped now.. Might have to try the loo sleep option later on!

I am back to work for 6 months now, and finally start to feel better! give yourself some time.