What would you think if your boss said this to you?

[BiggleBoggle]

So, the other day I had a meeting with my boss, who wanted to compain about an email I'd sent her which she thought included an unnecessary question which she didn't have time to answer (it took about an hour to go over this)! Also, about a piece of work that wasn't what she wanted although she admitted to not having told me what she wanted. She then said, "I think you've gone mad ... is it a pregnancy thing?" (She doesn't have kids and constantly makes clear that she never wanted them).

I don't know, at the time I sort of laughed, but I'm suddenly having a crisis of confidence about the pregnancy and reactions to it in the workplace, I feel very visible/vulnerable all of a sudden, as though people are making assumptions about my mental state on the basis of the bump (I feel relatively sane, well, no less than normal anyway).

I have a slightly odd relationship with her anyway, she's very 'busy' (apparently more so than anybody else, so can only occasionally find time to say hello to me as she walks past my desk in the morning, and NEVER to stop to ask how I am).

Anyway, what would you think? I'm over-reacting aren't I?

I don't think you are over-reacting, it was a completely inappropriate thing to say. It may well just have been clumsiness, but if I were you I would probably start keeping a record of comments like this, just in case you need it later. I'm not trying to panic you there by the way, it's probably nothing other than her being a bit insensitive.

Keep a record of everything. She's an arse.

To take an hour to get to the point of an email is a waste of time. Did you reach an understanding on this matter? My guess is the unnecessary question caught her on the hop in some way, so you need to be precise about events in this matter.

I'd email for precise details about the unsatisfactory task, so you don't get it wrong.

Her comment is absolutely out of order. You are not overreacting. She's insecure in her own job, so she's picking up on yours. Why do I think this? Because most email difficulties/misunderstandings are sorted via email. An unnecessary question?? Those who try it in person are often looking for off the record stuff which can't be traced later.

Thanks you two, it's reassuring to know that I'm not going totally mad in feeling a bit insecure about a comment suggesting that I had gone mad ... as a result of being pregnant! I would admit to being a bit hormonal from time to time but I try and reserve the worst outbursts for my DH! He doesn't think I've gone mad, and he would definitely be the first to inform me if and when I do. She's constantly making an effort to be understanding, and is always reminding me that she knows nothing about pregnancy, as if it's some sort of alien state. For her, 'being understanding' is a thing you do at a certain moment - she has special designated moments for 'being friendly' too! Actually, the more I think about it the more I think she's a bit mad!!

I had a boss like this, she took a massive dislike to me and started to try and get rid of me. It all started just like this. My advice to you write down everything no matter how insignificant in a diary with dates and times and if it escalates you will have proof of her behaviour to take to HR.