Going back to teaching job- worried

[delilahdarling]

Hi,

After a year maternity leave I am going back to a teaching job (primary). We can't afford for me not to work and I couldn't change my hours. I am dreading it, and I am sure many others on here feel the same. My worry is whether I (and my DD and DP) will be able to cope with what the job expects of me.

Before I had DD I did not let the job overtake but I worked hard- I planned, taught and assessed thoroughly, ran an afterschool club (til approx 5.30pm- got home 6.15 pm and often later). I would either stay at school to get my planning done, or do it at home but either way, the time had to be spent.

Fast forward to now- I hate the thought of going back there (but have to), I just feel like doing the bare minimum and getting home ASAP. School is tiny and they will definitely ask me to do clubs, be governor, coordinate subjects etc as I am one of only a very few staff. This would mean more later evenings and I just can't bring myself to do it.When will I spend time with my baby? also will obviously need to get her from nursery.
If I don't agree, the reaction of the head teacher won't be great.

I feel trapped, going back in a few weeks, feeling sick, lying awake at night and getting racing heartbeat etc. DP is supportive but agrees I need to work.

Thing is, with the holidays and pay etc it's a good job but I fear I will do the children in my class a disservice. Can't begin to think what else I could do that would earn me similar money?

How have other teachers fared, especially those in small schools where you are expected and needed to do more?

Is applying for jobs at another school an option?

Certainly, no one can make you do extra things you aren't being paid for. Are you a member of a teaching union in case too much pressure is applied to you?

I used to teach, and also have experience of DD1 being taught by a teacher with a 1 year old now. The amount of time she takes off because her dd is ill is frustrating for her y3 pupils, but there is nothing anyone can do about this, and when she's there she's a good teacher.

Being a mother will enhance parts of your character, and therefore be positive for your job. Can you list these and think about what you have to offer now, alongside the concerns you've listed above.

I have a friend who was a primary teacher and is now a nanny, who takes her DS with her to work. She says she takes home more than if she were teaching and paying for childcare... Have other former teacher friends, working doing after school tuition/saturday clubs, when their DP's can provide their childcare.

I'm a primary school teacher too. I went back after maternity leave, but went back part time. I find it in some ways very difficult trying to balance everything, but one thing I have learnt is that the world does not collapse if you are not there. Also I find I just have to be super organised to get everything done because it is just not possible to do much at home or stay late. But I have also started to realise that in some ways you can be just as good a teacher if you don't spend too long planning/marking etc, if not better. I think I used to overplan and got frustrated when the children weren't all fantastic at the end of each lesson. Lymond is right that you will bring other skills to the job by being a mother to compensate for not being able to do so much extra stuff (eg I feel like I view the whole child far more now, rather than focusing on results.) Lymond is right that no-one can force you to do things beyond your contract. I know it's easy for me to say when I'm not working in your school and I understand that heads can make things hard for teachers. However I do think sometimes the fear of it is worse than what actually happens.

Ultimately the biggest think I have had to deal with has been accepting that I am not viewed in the same way as before, eg not as important, not being on senior management etc. It has taken a year and a half but I now realise that other people's opinion of me doesn't matter as much as being able to spend time with my DD without being too tired because I've spent half the night worrying about school. It is just a job in the end, even if an important one and the best thing you can do for your own child and the children in your class is to try to find a balance and accept that sometimes some things will not get done (a lot of them are a load of rubbish anyway - sorry DFES)

Sorry this was a rambling reply, but I so totally understand your feelings. Good luck with it and I'm sure you will be fine.

I agree that the thinking about it is probably the worst bit and when you actually get back you will find a way to cope. I know how hard a job it is but there is also a lot to enjoy and the money is good. Don't spoil these last few weeks with worry if you can help it just keep telling yourself you will do your best. Some people do give up and there are sometimes options like part time or supply but don't talk yourself down before you have started back. I really wish you luck - keep telling yourself you can make a go of it and be as positive as possible.

Thank you for your kind words and advice.
Helps me put things in perspective.

Lymond:It's always an option to apply for another job and I do keep my eyes peeled for something. I live in an area of the country where teaching jobs are scarce and usually the successful candidate is bringing something new and exciting to the job. Without digging out my dusty old contract, is there something in there about doing extra curricular stuff in terms of hours? I can't remember but it rings a bell. I do belong to a union, have had to contact them before for different reasons so will make sure my membership is fully renewed...

mrst30- lots of good advice there. I hope I can get to a point where i'm as sensible about it as you. One thing I am nervous about is feeling resentment (sounds awful but can't think of better word) towards the job as I am being paid to teach other people's children instead of being with my own. I don't know if you ever felt like that I am with the littlies and in a way, it brings it home harder. when do you fit in your planning?

openbook: Thank you. will certainly give it a good go and I hope it won;t be as difficult as I fear. Without starting a whole new story, my DD is my first and my only (hard to conceive,terrible pregnancy,premature birth, both of us seriously ill and Drs think pregnancy too risky again)and she is truly a miracle. I am finding it hard to reconcile with myself that I won't be a stay-at-home mum to any children. I know her story does not mean I qualify to get to stay home from work when I can't afford to, but I keep thinking of the time I am missing with her iyswim?

Thank you again for your advice

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