Advice needed - career change...or STAHM?

[PANCHEY]

I am about to go back to work,but have an 1.5 hour commute each way. Paying for childcare for DD1 and 2 basically wipes out my salary, but in the short term need to do it to cover DD1 pre-school fees prior to going to school in September. I just do not want to change anything for her now.

The think is what then? I am not precious about the area I work in, I do not sparkle whilst at work, it is just work. I would love to find something / retrain which I would adore doing which would fit with the school run. I want to give my children what my mum gave to me, which is the support a STAHM can give. However, I am terrified of stepping off the work treadmill. There are other areas of work that interest me, but would take a lot of retraining, speech therapy is one.

Please give me any advice you can, plus any stories of successful changes in career direction.

I think 1.5 hours commute each way is simply not doable with 2 young children.

You can change careers at any time.

Can identify with the predicament you face. I am a mum of two and work full time. Little one is in private nursery and the other is in state nursery, before he starts primary school in september. I would love nothing more than to work closer, as I have a similar commute, so I could still be involved in school run, etc.

Only advice I can give, is you have to do what you feel is right. If stepping of the work treadmill isn't something you can contemplate straight away, check out whether there is any night classes or open university courses which would allow you to study whilst working. Don't get me wrong, that's not easy either, but with a little suport from family I managed to get my prof accounting qualification whilst working and raising my family. As my employer contributed finanically and time wise when I wa studying I am tied to them for 2 years, but only got another 9 months to go before I can start to look elsewhere, ieally somewhere else with less commute or on reduced hours basis.

Good luck in whatever you choose!

I am in kind of the same position except that I have decided I will become a sahm for a couple of years. I do plan to retrain or do something else. I can't give you a success story yet but also interested to hear if anyone else can. I really identify with what you say about giving the same support your mum gave you. My mum was also a sahm until we were older and I find not being there full time for my dc really hard and it is worse now DD is at school. Good luck.

The other issue that I have is that apart from possibly speech therapy I run out of ideas. I stayed in my job, in the first place as it worked with just one child and not because I really enjoyed it. Things just ticked over, this has made me very stale, in terms of career aspirations. Also a little scared to change anything. What is certain is that I will not be able to remain the same as I am now.

I am going to look at a website called women like us, which is committed to helping women find work that fits around other commitments and which is still stimulating as well.

I do feel as though I want to be there for DD1 whilst she is taking her first steps into school life, in fact throughout both DCs' school lives.

My stale career has also left me rather lacking in confidence regarding about my abilities. I shall keep on researching till I get to where I need to be. The other thing is that I think its important to set a good example to my children....as I am sure does everyone who posts on here.

I thought I couldn't do anything other than my current career. But the closer I get to leaving, the more ideas I get for other things I could do. Sometimes I think you get too stuck to see the wider possibilities.

Whoops, post last night not great grammatically.

I can totally relate especially to the comments about staying a job not because you like it but because it worked with having 1 child and was easy/familiar. As I always hoped to have a second child, it suited me to go back after the first lot of maternity leave, slot into a role I knew inside-out and when there were work issues/stressful times, I coped by knowing in a year or two I'd hopefully be on maternity leave again. Now I've had two kids (and not planning a third) I don't have that escape route and I'm forced to take a long hard look at my job and ask myself do I want to still be there in 10 years doing the same thing day in and day out. Answer is a resounding no.

Also it is a lot harder juggling with 2 kids - basically leave house at 7.30 in the morning, do 2 drop-offs and arrive at office at 9.15. Then the same in reverse in the evening. I know the best solution would be to get a nanny but my salary would be totally gobbled up so its a non-starter.

I actually started a thread the other day looking for advice about giving up work and got some v helpful suggestions - women like us website mentioned above, job share agency like www.eatyourcake.co.uk, freelancing or even unpaid, volunteer work (won't help pay the mortgage admittedly but another idea to throw into the mix). It is a bit scary but I've pretty much decided to take the plunge and quit my job and be a SAHM for a while (until youngest starts school). Life is just too chaotic/stressful for me to work out a new career path while I'm working in current job. Its possible that I might find a better job if I looked around (although there aren't millions of part-time jobs on offer in the City) but really that doesn't solve the problem of not seeing my kids much. I think I ideally need something closer to home and more flexible.

I chatted to some mums recently (with older siblings) who tried to juggle work and kids/school in the past and they gave up work in the end - I realise now the easy years were the baby years when you could drop child off at nursery from 8-6pm and actually school really complicates everything (3.15pm pick-ups, playdates, after school activities, sleepovers, sorting out school childcare).

Will be really interested to hear of what different careers others pursued and/or how it panned out being a SAHM.