Oh how I hate HATE my job :o(

[DreadingWork]

Actually that's not strictly true. I like my job and I think I'm pretty good at it. I'm currently on Maternity Leave, due back in the summer. Already I'm stressing about going back and it's starting to spoil my time with DD. I have a few weeks to get myself sorted out before crunch time.

What I loathe, hate, about work are all the egos, politics, back-stabbing, gossiping, knifing, stress, arse-kickings and bullying that goes on in the office. My line manager is a nice chap and he will always have my respect and loyalty, but ultimately I feel like he's a bit, well, weak in the "sticking up for the team" department. I guess he doesn't like to rock the boat and for all I know could be worried about his own position (most people at work are perpetually worried about their jobs - it's that kind of company). So I do feel sometimes that he allows the team to be treated like s*it and chooses to do nothing about it but it goes beyond that. It has been like this for so long that it almost feels like it's company culture to just "Put Up & Shut Up", no matter how badly the employees are treated.

For varying reasons it will be extremely difficult to give up work altogether due to financial commitments at home and the fact that it's quite specialised work so to do another similar job that uses my skills would mean a lot of commuting time and I'm not guaranteed to find a part-time position as it's quite a male environment. Plus jobs really ain't that easy to find these days are they

What I want to do is somehow learn to be able to ignore all the crap parts and not let it get me down. Since I can do nothing to change the working environment and tone of the place, I figure I can only change my own attitude towards it. I'd like to be able to turn up, do my hours and then come away without feeling so utterly depressed by the atmosphere - to not let the vile tone of emails wind me up and upset me and to not bite and react and stress about all the shitty things that happen, day after day after day. I'd like to walk away at 5pm and be able to put the place completely out of my mind, to not wake at 4am and start worrying and churning about the day to come.

Has anyone successfully done this and can help me with techniques? I saw this book on Amazon and wondered if it might help. Has anyone read it? I also have a copy of Dealing With Difficult People in the hope that may have some useful advise.

Has anyone learned to love a job they previously loathed? Or at least learned not to loathe it quite so much that it affects their mental health and wellbeing?

I'm a regular who has name-changed for fear of being outed at work!

Thanks in advance

hmm ok

well first of all, I do sympathise. I think if you feel this way now, it can go 2 ways and you need to decide what mindset you go back to work with...

first mindset goes like this - now that I have dc/dcs, I recognise even more how petty this sort of back stabbing, ego charging environment is and I am going to be able to rise above it EVEN MORE than the other people because I have now experienced something that makes sense of the world, and that's having dcs. This political crap is just stopping me from doing the job the best I can, so I'm going to go to work, hold my head up high and just get on with it. Those saddos who engage in that shit are just that, saddos. I will just do my job and keep my head down - yes it will affect me at some points, yes I will find it frustrating but ultimately, I recognise it for what it is and that is just ego posturing.

second mindset goes - god I wish I could be with dd. I miss her so so so much. I can't cope with all this immature shite at work - it just makes me want to escape even more than it did before. Why should I spend my time in this place when I could be spending it with my precious dd.

now I doubt you'll sit happily in one camp all the time but if you need this job and you can't find another (sympathies on this - job market is utter rubbish at the moment, don't feel down if you can't see anything else because there is really nothing around) then you need to work on rising above it which you can do. It's just your attitude walking through the door that will determine it.

I tell you what helps - that's laughing at how ridiculous some of them are being. I find talking about their antics (outside work with friends or dh) can help too because it makes you realise how even more ridiculous it is!

Blimey!

You can't change people so you either accept them and their bitching, back stabbing and bullying ways or you get out.

I have left companies for the same reason. I was always worried that I would be tarred with the same brush. I now work for a nice company, with good ethics and a generally caring culture. It's not perfect but I am a million times happier. You need to decide what is important.