Working Mums not on a 9 to 5: how do you cope?

[Lolis]

I'm a working Mum whose caring profession requires that I work regular evenings (at the moment, 2-3 days per week til 9pm). Anyone else identify with this?

I find it difficult coping with the late nights and early mornings (daughter up at 5.30am - yuck!) and the fact that I can't put her to bed and see how her day was. It's also hard finding time to spend with the hubbie and it puts a lot of pressure on him to be the sole carer after a long working day (he does do a 9 to 5 - well, more like 8 to 6)!

And before you ask, no, I can't jack it in and stay at home (would quite like to) or we'd be on the streets!

Does anyone have any tips on making it all more bearable?

it is hard.

we work opposite shifts here. I work evening and nights, dh does a mix of lates and earlies.

fortunately we have persuaded the kids not to wake before 7.30- which is a lifesaver but then I dont finish work till 12mn on an evening so possibly similar.

Whats worked for us is making sure that we try to go to bed early the nights I'm not in work to catch up. We try to get out ourselves regularly to have some break from the relentlessness(sp?) of the routine.

And I frequently have to remind myself of the advantages. one of which is that dh and dc have a good relationship.

Oh and afternoon naps are very important.

We are in the same boat. DH does three 12hr shifts so starts in the wards at 7.15am (leave house by 6.20am having walked the dogs), DC usually get up about 6.30am.

DH gets home about 8pm.

I work 3 evenings from 6pm til midnight on the days he's not working (leaving by 5.15pm and getting home just after 12.30am).

I think that we've just accepted that we are ships that pass in the night and that we will be permanently knackered at the moment. I have specifically chosen my OOH job so I have the benefits of being a SAHM but still earn a fantastic part time wage.

tips for making it bearable: making sure that each day has a plan ie meeting friend A monday with kids, softplay tuesday morning, nursery wednesday, day at home thursday, foodshopping friday, grandparents saturday and day out somewhere sunday. Knowing we have a stucture helps me cope when DH is out for such long hours

Yes it is a benefit that DH has a great relationship with DD. I have my moments though...like when I drop her off at the childminder and she cries and clings to me and I have to peel her off whilst thinking, I won't see her til tomorrow morning (that's if she sleeps through).

I find the evening bit at work hardest, when my body is saying go to sleep and I have to be bright and lively for the people I'm working with (teenagers).

We tend to do very little at weekends other than sleep and spend time all together to catch up- that helps.

Yes ? I can identify with that one. I worked nights for a fair few years so that I?d at least be around during the day and after school. My husband worked office hours so when I got home in a morning, he would be straight out the door.

I?d take the kids to school or nursery, grab a few hours kip and then get up again to pick them up. When the hubby got home around teatime, I?d grab another couple of hours before heading off out again at 9.30pm.

It was hard work and could be a pain not being able to plan for evenings and weekends (especially during the Summer) but at least I was at home during the day in case of illness or school holidays. It also meant I could work full time hours without having to worry about childcare, getting 10hr shifts over and done with in one hit.

It didn?t allow for much time to spend with the husband but that was something we both accepted had to go on hold until they were a bit older, which they now have.