Difficult colleague please advise

[meaningofnight]

I have a colleague in another department who is constantly hostile and unpleasant to me. She never answers my emails and anything I do she belittles or ignores.

A few years ago she was very rude to me and I complained about her behaviour and we both had to meet with our respective managers to sort it out. It was very badly handled and she has just carried on in the same vein.

Usually I deal with it by staying well out of her way, but occasionally I have to have dealings with her (like today) and I dread it. I am several grades senior to her (we are talking Civil Service here), but she is always backed up by her boss who is a very senior manager and so just feels she can do what she wants.

Today I have to present a marketing document I have put together. It is an organisation-wide thing and my own dept. features first because it is a general dept. She has taken exception to this (she saw a draft) and says I have to do it in strict a-z order (her dept. begins with a!).

This makes no sense and means my dept. would be buried away. I have presented a reasoned argument about this, but she just flatly refuses to discuss it or change her mind.

What do I do? My boss is no help (never backs his staff up). She and her boss are like attack dogs. Feel sick.

Get some more opinions. That way it isn't just you versus her.

She's bullying and intimidating you because you allow it. Why do you even need her approval or permission to present a document that you (not her) have been asked to do. I presume that you are presenting it, not her and that you can do it anyway you like. I also presume that the presentation has been read and approved by those senior to you (and not junior). Why even get into a discussion with her about it. If you have to speak to her tell her straight that the matter is been sorted and the subject is now closed and not up for discussion.

I think the best way to effectively deal with something like this is directly with the individual. Ask her for a meeting and use the opportunity to say that she seems ot be constantly hostile and unpleasant, give her a couple of examples and ask if she can explain why this is, is there any problem you need to be aware of. Then say how you would like her to behave in the future.

Don't forget you are more senior than her, and to act in a way that emphasises that.

In terms of the marketing document, if you are the one who has put it together, you are more senior than her and she is not even in your department, there should be no reason on earth that she thinks she can say you 'have' to do it in any particular way. If she comments to you about the document, just say 'thank you for your input and opinions, however I am going to keep the structure of the document as it is', then leave it at that. If she persists, interrupt and repeat firmly, 'thank you for your opinion, but I'm going to keep it as it is', then end the conversation.

It sounds as though she has entirely forgotten that she is a more junior employee and for some reason has got the impression that it's ok for her to act differently. You may feel that it's her boss's fault or responsibility, but at the end of the day, you can't change her boss's behaviour, so you need to look at what you can do yourself to improve the situation.