Has anyone managed to do a phd with 2 small DCs?

[kaffers]

Hi,
I was just wondering if anyone out there has managed to do a PHD in circumstances like mine? My eldest is 2.9 and my next is due in 10wks. Since having my first I've been doing and OU conversion diploma in psychology and working part time as a researcher in a university dept. The next step would be to undertake a PHD when the second is 12months (and have completed diploma), and I'm keen to do it.... but I'm developing serious nerves. It has already been so tough (my eldest is NOT a good sleeper and never has been) and at times I've felt like I'm going totally crazy. I'm wondering whether to just take a break from the whole thing for a year (but fear feeling aimless) - I'm wondering if anyone has done a PHD with small ones and can offer their perspective?
Thanks,

I'm doing a (second) PhD with 3 children. In my final year, they're currently aged 5, 8 and 10 - the 10 year old is severely autistic and often awake a lot.

I can do a lot of work from home - would struggle if I couldn't as I have to be home at 3.30pm every day for ds1's bus. I treat it as a very flexible job tbh - and it's fine and is a lot more flexible than most jobs. Although it will take me more than 3 years, so I'm going to have the writing up whilst trying to work but not being able to work because no childcare problem. I couldn't have done my first one (lab based) now as I just wouldn't be able to be in work enough hours.

hi there, not sure if this is helpful i have a friend who has just started a Phd and has a 3 and a 1 year old. She is finding it hugely stressful but think this is mostly because the uni she is doing it at is a looong way from where she lives, not really commutable in a day although she is trying it once a week or so.
I am currently doing a graduate diploma in law (to get equivalent of law degree to train to be a lawyer) and my dc are 3 years old and 5 months old. I took a break for a year when i had my second one and have just gone back.. i don't know how it would compare to a PhD but its certainly very very intense and i am not sleeping much as i don;t have any childcare in the daytime (should be writing essay now ) but i am sure it would be easier once the dc are at school or if they were at nursery. I was glad of the year break tbh, it was lovely to be able to focus on the kids and not be constantly feeling pressure from all sides.
All the best with making your decision
ps my dh is an academic who supervises PhD students who have kids and he is pretty understanding about their situation! Guess that might not always be the case though..

Hi,

My dd1 was born 18 months into my PhD. I submitted at 30 weeks with dd2 (she was born just before my viva - was supposed to be just after my viva).
It was great that I could be so flexible. I was the main carer and dd1 had 1.5 nursery days from about the age of 1. I spent those two days in the lab/dept and did the rest of my work evening & weekends.
It was very tough for all sorts of reasons, not just the dcs. My department was pretty unstable, I had many changes of supervisor & long periods with no input or feedback. I also had a long-term illness which started when dd1 was 18 months and went on for two years.
I found it hard to work evenings as I was tired after a day with dd1 (also tired from illness) and at weekends I really wanted to be with my family rather than working, so it was hard to keep going.
Glad I did, though. Worth it in the end.
I was funded for 3yrs, allowed a maximum of 4yrs before submission. In the end had one 6 month extension so did it in 4.5 yrs, but over a period of 5.5 yrs (1yr made up of combinations of mat leave and sick leave).

hth

my mom did one with three under five. dsis was only 10 weeks when she started. (she waited till she had given birth before starting)

Thanks everyone for all these fantastic comments - they're very encouraging and enlightening.

I got pg with dd1 in my third year, went back to finish research part-time (handly as it gave my plants more time to grow....). Got pregnant with dd2 while writing up! Attemtpted to submit before I had her, but it didn't work out (supervisor didn't read or return work to me). Took second maternity leave, then sick leave for PND. Eventually submitted, then department took nealy a year before the viva. Finally got PhD 3 years after research finished.

It was hard work as my supervisor moved to another University while I was pregnant, left me with someone who didn't work in the same area. No one was willing to read through my thesis, and due to maternity leave PND, departmental delays, the work was very out of date by the time they did my viva. I sometimes wonder if they only passed me as they'd made so many mistakes in the supervision / viva guidelines.

I'm glad I finished it, but can't say it's been much use. Not much call for molecular biology when you're a SAHM.....

should add, having done 2 - one with and one without children the biggest issue in a PhD isn't really the kids. The most important factors ime are a) a well thought out achievable project and b) your supervisor.

I really struggled with my first (no children) PhD - handed it in 2 days before the 4 year very strict deadline and spent most of it stressed. I got it with corrections but the viva was fairly hideous which reflected the problems in the project itself - it only really just about hung together. This time - although the kid factor will take me into my 4th year I aim to finish in about 3 years 3 months and the whole experience has been a lot less stessful. I have a great project though with lots of data (my biggest problem first time round - didn't get any data until the third year) and I have a really lovely supportive supervisor. First time round my supervisor was a nice person in a social situation (we're still in touch) but we really struggled with the supervisor-student relationship. He tender to ignore me for weeks and be unavailable when I tried to see him, but would then appear and start demanding to know why I hadn't done such and such.

Hi,

Yes I had both my DC during my PhD - DD one year in, and DS 2 years later. I took 6 months (paid) ML with both so my PhD took 4 years in total. I actually thought it was a great time to have young DC as you are so flexible with your time. My DH was also doing a PhD so between us we looked after them and did work when we could. It did mean working in the evenings/at weekends but I actually think it was easier than having DC when working. I am currently pg with DC3 (and working as a part-time as a post-doc) and will just have to take off 6 months and then come back rather than choose my hours to fit in with the baby.

I would definitely recommend it - good luck!