Problem with new bloke :(

[coolma]

Bit of background: I'm the co-ordinator at a homelesness day centre. Have been there since April and love the job . It's hard work but the staff team are fantastic and things have been going really well in all ways. A member of staff is leaving and a new person has joined. he is a nightmare! He has only been there a week and has already got everyone's back up. he has never worked on the 'front line' as it were, but was a manager in various places and don't I know it!!! All he has done is criticise our practice, he looks around in a bored manner every time I try to speak to him and is asking me ridiculous questions I simply cannot answer. I have already been in tears with my director about him and I know the rest of the staff are 'bristling' every time he appears. His role is to take on service user cases, organise the volunteers and generally muck in, but it's looking like he will not rest until everything I do has been challenged and (tried to) changed. He has already sent me and my director some 'useful information' about homeless ness She has been in the sector for years and actually knows pretty much everything there is to know and I am fairly well up on my job thank you very much!! I am trying very hard to maintain a professional demeanour when he is about but my face doesn't work at such tims! I just don't knw what to do! half of me is trying to make allowances for him 'lowering himself' to a lowlier position, but on the other hand if he doesn't fit in it is going to be hell!!! Whatcan I do?

So this guy is an employee, I assume? (Rather than a volunteer). And not one used to the type of work you do. (I have to ask, who made the decision to hire him as he doesn't exactly seem to fit the bill?).

Anyway, it sounds to me like there are a number of things that need to be tackled:

• yes he may have management experience and you may want him to make useful suggestions but he is not in a management role now, nor is he in a sector he understands, so he would be better off learning the ropes before making his suggestions
• given he is new to the front-line type of work, he may need more direction than 'generally muck in'; of course, you may well just have been summarising for the sake of brevity in the post, but he might work better with specific tasks, or even the directive that where he sees something that needs doing, he gets on with doing it.
• presumably he is on probation so this is the time to manage the situation, make sure you document everything and take advice if you need to.

I would also call him out if you feel he is displaying an attitude of "I'm too good for this". It doesn't have to be antagonistic, recognise that he is used to being in a management position and ask him how he is finding it being one of the troops again. Say the other staff are all happy to help him with the transition [even though it sounds like already they'd quite like to give him a slap!] and maybe he'd like to shadow one of them to get an idea of what's expected?

Okay, it's only been a week so don't rush to any conclusions, but it sounds to me like the guy's only around til the market picks up. But there's no point you seething about it in silence, it sounds like way more than a personality clash.You're the boss - make sure he knows it!

Hope this helps - I don't think you have to make allowances for the fact that he's 'lowered himself' to the position. He chose to do it, now he lives with that choice or decides it's not for him.

Is he junior to you? Could you perhaps invite him for a chat about how he feels he is getting on, and suggest that now he has had a few days to settle in you can look at his role more.

My jobs have always had a kind of training pack/induction where there are specific competencies to meet so there is no misunderstanding.

But I would definately bring him in for a frank chat, even consider pointing out that whingeing and moaning is detrimental to the morale of the team so if he has a particular 'better' way of doing things he can talk to you about it and then you will consider whether it would suit the workplace.

He is new, and being a PITA, I would put your foot down now rather than later in case he doesn't seem to be leaving soon

Thanks! Yes, I am his manager - I have spoken to him generally and given him a 'structure' to work from - we also have our induction process which he briefly looked at before saying 'yes I've looked on the website so have a good idea of this place....' I have a supervision with him on Tuesday (dreading it!) so will certainly try to address things more specifically. Arghhh! Unfortunately, with the cold weather the centre is opening at night and all sorts of things are cropping up as you can imagine, so he is seeing a rather more 'disorganised' environment whch he is of course loving

Hi coolma - I'm a bit puzzled about why you are letting your confidence in your ability to perform your job be so readily undermined by this new guy?

Is there a chance you are projecting some of these views on him? E.g. I find it a bit hard to believe that somebody who has decided to take a new job in a homelessness organisation is "loving" seeing it "disorganised". Are you sure you're not reading a bit too much into some of his facial expressions and silences?

Could it be that he's floundering a little in such a new environment for him, and the things that he's trying are what would have been found helpful in his previous roles?

Why was he recruited to this role? If you go back to that, maybe you will find a way to make an ally of him.

Another thought is that presumably he is on a probationary period if he's a new recruit, so ultimately you can let him go and try again if it doesn't work out. But I suspect you will want to make sure you have done your best to give him the opportunity to prove himself before going down that route.

You need to focus your discussion with him on the specifics that you want him to deliver against, and try to let the other unhelpful things - like sending you material on homelessness - go. Just be thankful that he's taking an interest, rather than taking it as him saying "I bet you don't know this".

I personally didn't want him to be offered the job! My director overruled that which is fair enough of course! I guess that it is hard for me as we have had such a lovely team ethic and he really is coming in with this 'know it all' attitude, making comments which are clearly provocative. I dunno, perhaps I am being too sensitive... I am not naturally a super confident person but I do know I can do my job and I do know our procedures work - I wrote most of them!! I do want him to fit in and become part of our organisation but the early signs are not hopeful

Why didn't you want him to be offered the job?

Because at the interview he virtually ignored me directing all his answers to the director, he has no relevant front line experience as I said and I really didn't 'feel' that he would fit in! I'm trying very hard to put all that aside and help him fit in, but it seems hard already. I mean, when you start a new job you don't start telling people what they should be doing, suggesting changes immediately, making comments that seem totally unnecessary etc - well at least i wouldn't think that was a terribly good idea in the first week!

sometimes new people do have an eye for seeing how things could be done differently and more effectively that those who have been there a long time don't see.

however he needs to use the systems in place to suggest these changes and maybe you could advise him how the feedback system works in your setting.

Good suggestion, Beasknees.

coolma - I can how that is tricky. Sorry if I've missed it, but how is he actually getting on at doing the things that are his job? I would suggest that you try to focus on giving him feedback about that for your first session, acknowledge Beasknees point (i.e. that he is a fresh pair of eyes and you're open to suggestions for improvement, and this is how you would like him to feed them in). You could also gently point out that you and other members of the team have felt like he is...[insert point of most irritation to you all here]. Leave it at that. If you can try to give him some positive feedback on things that he is doing well in his new role, I think that will really help. My suspicion is that he is probably feeling anxious about this new role, and this is making him come across very weirdly. It's a theory, anyway!

Well, I'll see how it goes tomorrow - here's just one example - he asked if he needed to fill out any forms for some thing he'd done - I said 'no that's fine' then remembered something very small he did need to do - so in front of another staff member and three or four clients he laughed and said 'oh dear coolma, you were wrong there then!'

yes, thanks mate

yes he is a tit as well as being new

Sounds like he's a bloke who doesn't respond well to working for a woman. I've had a few of these over the years (god who hasn't) and some of them I now class as friends, so it can be resolved. Plus frankly he sounds like an arrogant arse, which probably can't, but let's give him the benefit of the doubt for now.

First, do not dread the one-to-one on Tuesday. He will pick up on the vibe. You need to come across as confident, knowledgeable and in charge. All of which I you are I should add! Pick him up on specifics, make clear "that's not how we do things here", and be supportive of his need to transition from a management role into something more hands-on.

I will add that confronting stuff like this is one of the most difficult things about being a manager and there are many who would just funk it and not deal - which you aren't doing, because you're here on MN seeking advice and support. So keep going - you can do this!

I think you've got some brilliant advice here, and I'd like to reiterate that his behaviour shows his weakness, not his strenghts. He's emphasising what he knows, but is clueless about what he should be doing. When I was a young manager I took on a new member of staff who was vastly experienced as a manager, but who for various reasons was taking a more junior role. She was absolutely wonderfully supportive, and I learnt so much about how to be a good colleague and a good team leader from her. If your new colleague were more confident and more experienced, he would probably be able to act as my colleague did then, but he doens't have those skills.

You could tell him straight out that you think he's having difficulty adjusting to being a member of a team rather than being a manager?

Beasknees - hahahaha brilliant . Tribot, thank you, I will be as together as I can be - trouble is my face is rather too expressive if you know what I mean! I hadn't thought about the behaviour = weakness, that's a very good point.

I'm just feeling very sad, as in the time I've been in this job, I have never, until tonight, dreaded going back in the morning . Still, I will be Bigger and Stronger than him! Pah!!

He sounds like he's being an arrogant twunt and it does sound as though he has issues with a) not being in a management role any more and b)being managed by women.

He's certainly lacking in emotional intelligence and if he's been any sort of a manager, he should have an understanding of that - but clearly he doesn't.

But those are his issues and he's the one who needs to adjust to the new situation, with your feedback and guidance.

Does the job spec say he should work effectively in a team? As he's clearly not doing that (by getting others' backs up), and as you can cite specific examples, you can feed this back to him on Tuesday as an area he needs to address.

But you should also praise him for what he is doing right - for instance, some of his comments may be valid and help you in the longer term - however, there is an appropriate way to feed that back and he needs to know what's appropriate and what's not.

I'd also suggest you keep your own manager informed about the issues because what you may find is that he will go behind your back to whinge about you to her - I've encountered this sort of behaviour from men who don't take kindly to a woman boss so it's as well to be prepared and firm with him.

And then best to document your feedback chat - perhaps in an email copied to your boss - so that if find he carries on underperforming you can get rid more easily - although presumably his probationary period would make that easier.

It's always difficult to do - but try to separate the behaviour from the person, especially when you talk to him.

Although he might have an irritating personality, it's his behaviour which needs to change iyswim. Good luck for Tuesday, let us know how it goes.

is he called adrian?

semi serious question

No he's not called Adrian tell us more...
I've already spoken to my boss about him - she is super nice and has given me some brilliant pointers - ie: it's HIM that's directing ME at the moment and I have to turn that around. Also, I have to ensure that he doesn't get the 'last word' - I have told him he needs to shadow the other staff and he was quite resistant to that, but I made it very clear that it was actually a Good Way To Learn What To Do. I will certainly let you all know what happens,and really appreciate the advice, there's been lots that I hadn't thought of. In fact I may print this off and have it to hand!

Thank you

Hello again coolma - have just seen your example of his behaviour. He does sound like an annoying pratt.

You will be fine, as you are clearly a thoughtful and caring manager. And that is half the battle ime. It is good that your manager is supportive, as I had been thinking that you needed to be slightly cautious about complaining about him too readily as she over-ruled you on appointing him in the first place. Just thought she might be sensitive to any suggestion that you were not giving him a fair chance iyswim.

Good luck for tomorrow and let us know how it goes.

Hope it goes well today coolma. I really sympathise, but if you look at this positively, it is a chance to develop a bit of toughness, for you, that is always useful in life when the need occasionally arises. Be strong, pull him up on all little snipes he makes, and show no emotion to him.

It would be reasonable to tell him in supervision that you think he has not made a very good start and that you expect more understanding, co-operation.

Just had an idea - you know when you get those scenario based interview questions? for example "Think of a time when you had a particularly challenging team member - how did you manage him - what was the outcome etc etc" keep your notes of how you are handling this as it may provide you with some evidence in the future should you need it!

He clearly thinks he already knows more than you, however you know different

Try and see it as enthusiasm and wanting the workplace to run as well as possble. Where ever possible coach the answer out of him, ie Do i need to do anything if I ahve done this? Where could you find the answer to that? Rather than giving him the answer.

If he makes suggestions, I would ask him to propose them in the right time and place, ie a one-to-one with you and fully thought out.

Above all don't give him any ammo against you and make sure that for all one-to-ones etc you are fully prepared and ahve thought about the types of things he may bring up. Try and see it as a postive, having someone to keep you on your toes is never a bad thing.

bumping to hear how you got on...

Ok so had the supervision today and actually, it didn't go too badly. I suggested he may be uncomfortable in a non managerial role and he was quite surprised (or acted..) to hear that. he did start to criticise some of the other staff but I stopped him, saying that perhaps his focus should be on learning the ropes as it were and observing what people do. He did go on and on a bit about how 'good' he is with people!!! which I politely listened to and I said that it would thus, be good, to interract with clients in a way that showed his undoubted talent at this . So, on the whole I feel very pleased with myself!

Good stuff, always wise to put a stop to well so and so is....