Are you the main breadwinner in your house?

[BirdFromDaNorf]

I know I'm just feeling the pressure, but how does it work in your house, if you are the main breadwinner?

Do you still do the washing, cooking, shopping lists, birthday presents, remembering of dates and packing everything up for when you go out for the day?

DH says that as I've done it up till now, it's me in the routine of it and knowing what do more than him....

Am I looking at this the wrong way - DH is working full time hours too (7.30am-5pm), just for less £ than I earn, and is physically pooped at the end of the day.

I work two days a week with childcare and also do evenings, for hours on end, and on the weekend.

Business is doing well, but needs more of my time to grow, otherwise I'm turning work down. I want him to do more at home so I can do more work, but he's too tired of an evening...

How does it work in your house??

i work fulltime hrs as does DH, i earn approx £10,000 more per yr than him . I do all household stuff, all organinsing type stuff, we do have PT nanny but only covers me at work , i shop/cook/clean but it is the geenral organisng being responsible for everything that gets to me . It is hte only thing we argue about .

Can you get a cleaner? I do think his excuse is lame by the way, but rather than row forever and a day putting a little money into the problem might help?

I feel your pain, I too am the main breadwinner often working evenings etc, he expects a medal if he does some washing up (badly).

i currently earn more than my husband but because I work mostly nights, he thinks that i have lots of time during the day to do the school runs, washing, ironing, housework, shopping, cookimg etc.

He is working much fewer hours than me but doesn't want to do the house stuff as he says I complain that it isn't done properly.

He then says he doesn't understand why I am tired and stressed!

Yes, 2-3 times as much as DH.

He is pretty good at taking his turn at tangible stuff like washing up, hanging out laundry, the big shop etc, but atm he doesn't do any food prep (eg cooking tasty stuff from AK, reading up on BLW). He does most/all of the day-to-day DIY but bigger stuff eg painting the outside of the house he just doesn't have time for, so we would have to pay someone to do that sort of thing or it doesn't get done. We split the nursery drop-offs and pick-ups 50/50 (me mornings, him evenings). I am pretty happy with this division of basic labour in the sense that I feel he's doing his equal part. But in the academic sense, I am more or less in the same position as you in that, if I want the business to grow I need more time and there is a chunk of time I could use which is currently being used up writing shopping lists, organising stuff etc.

I already jettisoned most of the less-necessary stuff like remembering about birthdays of his family members, on the basis that he can do that himself.

But I don't want (him to be) a house-husband. And I don't really like thinking that my money/job is somehow more important than his.

The (unsatisfactory, for a lot of reasons) short-term answer that we've recently discussed is to use some childcare on a Saturday (eg a friend of the family-type babysitter) for a few Saturdays in a row so that I can get some stuff done eg have 'bursts' of extra activity. This is, of course, buying a solution a la cleaning lady...