Any wohm with sahd's around - some reassurance needed

[onehitwonder]

I am going back to work on Wednesday after 6 months mat leave, and DH (who was made redundant a year ago) is staying at home with DS and will also be doing the school run with DD (4.5) and most of the after school and holiday care too.

I have had such a lovely maternity leave, being at home with DH, DS and apart from 3 days per week she was at nursery, DD. I am feeling so sad about going back to work, even though there is no other option for us and I do actually like my job.

What is compounding things is the fear that with DH becoming effectively DS's primary carer, that I will somehow lose my bond with DS. That when he wants reassurance or comfort, that it will be DH that he wants, not me. When I returned to work after DD was born, we were both working full time, and this wasn't a worry as I had been at home on my own with DD for 6 months. Of course I know it will be great for DS to be at home with his dad and I think DH will really rise to it. I will still be breastfeeding DS, putting him to bed, doing night feeds etc.

Can any WOHM with SAHDs give me an insight into how (if) their relationships with their babies changed when they returned to work?

Have done this for a couple of months and DS calls equally for both of us in the middle of the night now but I would def not say it has affected out bond, just expanded to include DH more too, it's been lovely. Don't worry, it will be fine.

bump

Hi. I went back to work when DS was 8 months after DH lost his job. DS is now 14 months. I don't think it's affected our bond at all. In a way I'm glad it's happened as it means I can be at work and know that DS is being looked after properly. Otherwise, I would have had to work part time and DS would have been in nursery. I do miss DS a lot though.

The hardest thing I found/find is when work gets tough and I end up wishing I was home with DS, but, as they saying goes "this too shall pass".

onehitwonder- i just wondered how this went for you- I am in the same boat- due back to work in october and dreading it- it is affecting my maternity leave as i am just jealous of DP

Headinspin, i too am returning to work soon (Nov), and DP is leaving work to care for our DD. I think I am worrying too much about it as I have spent so long with DD (it will have been 9 months), and do know that she will have a great time with him - maybe that's my issue! For him to work to pay for childcare seems daft, and if we have a second, there's no way we could pay for both.