After-school club punishment- too harsh?

[ScummyMummy]

Hi.

I'm cross and would be grateful for soothing words from mumsnetters. Alternatively a gentle nudge to say I'm overreacting would be ok!

Basically my 6 year old twins are at after school play club 3 afternoons a week while their daddy and I get our noses to respective grindstones. Their Dad picked them up on Friday and found them doing lines. Apparently they had been swinging from a door frame and had been ticked off thoroughly and this was their punishment. Though we're not big lines fans, especially for younger children for whom penmanship doesn't come easily, the boys had clearly been out of order and rules is rules and all that, so my partner told them off too, there were apologies from chagrined boys to all concerned and home they all went. Matter over- and so trivial that neither my partner or the boys even mentioned it to me.

Until today. When he went to pick them up and found that they were writing lines again. He went over thinking they had been misbehaving again and therefore preparing to do a very cross/disappointed daddy act, only to find that they were redoing Friday's lines "because they weren't neat enough and the writing was too big." Not only that, they had spent the entire play session (over two hours) writing lines. He was shocked but when he challenged the playleader (out of the boys' earshot) she claimed this was a reasonable application of the club's discipline policy.

Am I wrong to be v peeved? I send my kids to this club because it's a PLAY club ffs. Clearly they need to behave themselves but shouldn't each day be a fresh start? And isn't 2 hours worth of lines a tad excessive? And isn't expecting neat writing from a 6 year old just, er, barking mad?

Lines! pah.

a good beating would have sorted it all out in the first place.

too soft these days. mutter, mutter

That is insane. Totally agree with you, a new day is an new day and all that. I would be livid.

at Molesworth references and at Flum.
I will definitely be having words tomorrow. Thanks very, very much everyone. You've really reassured me. tbh I was so furious when my partner first told me about this that I was sure I must be overreacting and it's very nice to know that none of you think I am. Going to bed a happier person than I was a few hours ago thanks to all of you.

i would be cross too

Tamum - nah, Scummy has her answer now, we can clutter up her thread! I had a lovely week away, thank you. It wasn't the most picturesque Greek place i have been, and a teensy bit touristy, but all we wanted was a realxing week doing nothing and that's what we did.

DS quickly cottoned on that if he said 'kallimera' in shops he would be showered with sweets - and that he could repeat the effect throughout the day by adding 'Kallispera' and kallinikta'. Has altered my perspective on language tuition, I can tell you! He spent the rest of the time building sandcastles with battlements in case 'William and the conqueror' came, and DP and I spent our time drinking beer, swimming, and in my case, reading Case Histories by Kate Atkinson - compelling!

My god, no, not wrong to be peeved at all. Blimey, making a meal out of it aren't they? Would be very peeved and would do my usual trick of writing a cross and vaguely pompous (but reasonable) letter of complaint

SHOCKED SHOCKED AND MORE SHOCKED

That is outrageous.

I have recently made a complaint to my dd's pre-school - after lots of careful discussions and thoughts about doing so. So i know exactly what you mean about not sure whether you're overreacting about it. What i found the hardest was being listened to as an adult, and not just being thought of as a wingy overprotective Mother (which i now know is exactly what the pre-school teacher thought of me).

If you are not satisfied with the response you get, report it to Ofsted.

Definetly not appropiate. The punishment should hve been finished with on Friday. Six year olds often do write big and it should not have mattered hoe neat it was. I also think that just telling them off and expecing them to apolagise would have been enough. After all they have ben at school all day and need to let of steam

scummy, it was ott, good luck with your complaint and let us know how it goes.

Yes, Scumster, let us know what happens!

Batters - yes, that's why we went, te hee - except that Ds will be a January intake child so you won't see me for dust in September!

Scummy this is way OTT. Right to be disciplined at the time in a suitable way for 6 year olds (could have hurt themselves etc)
WRONG to make them do lines ffs.
Good luck with your complaint.
Blu, ds received free cakes and a promotional bande dessinee about agriculture in the Pas de Calais for remembering to say "bonjour messieurs-dames" when entering shops and cafes in Boulogne recently Glad you had a fab holiday!

Completely OTT - especially as it seems they were truly contrite after their first punishment - so they are being re-punished for their lack of ability to do the punishment not for their lack of application to it.

OMG - SHOCKING!!! I'm a childminder and think this is completely unappropriate for a child at that age to be doing lines, even more SHOCKED at them having to re-do them!!!

COMPLAIN!!! Fingers Crossed!

Bang out of order. My kids' school do sometimes use lines as a punishment. But not 2 hours' worth FFS, and carried over from the previous day.

Whaaaat? I've only just seen this Scummy, good lord, it's totally over the top imo! And yes, 2 hours and neatness for 6yos is barking. Have you spoken to them? What was the outcome? (sorry, will read thread now, maybe you've answered this)

WHAT???
thats outrageous!

each day should indeed be a fresh start. Anyway, lines is a stupid idea. FFS, cant they control the children without that kind of thing?

If you cant find another place for them to be, Id take this issue right to the end. It sounds as though the discipline policy is wrong.

if it was me i would be banging on the councils door and talking to the local paper - this is DISGUSTING

My six year old wouldn't be able to manage lines at all, come to think of it. He can't write "happy birthday love Nero" in a straight line.

The more I think about it, the madder it becomes.

any update?

would like to second prufrocks post.

they are being punished becuase they didn't do the first punishment to the required standard?

i would ask for the behavioural policy and ask for their policy which sets out the required writing specs for 6 yo's and why you haven't been given a copy.

anyone who knows anything about children would know lines is a rubbish punishment. it makes me boil when my kids have to do it in senior school. can they not think of something more constructive? write a story, stay in at break time and tidy up, put the chairs up after class. ridiculous

I would be livid. Sounds totally inappropriate. Definitely think sanctions should be reset at each new day. Barking mad to make 6 year olds redo lines because they weren't neat enough!

Hope you get a result today scummy!

Wouldn't have had a huge problem with the first set of lines (depending how many) but the repeat punishment is utterly ridiculous.

I've checked just to see how extreme a minority I am going to be, and it's very ... and I should preface by saying that, SM, I do agree that the club has handled your sons bizarrely.

Anyway, on lines: can I say that for my son, who's six and literate to the point of obsessiveness but unable to retain words spoken (and that includes a telling-off) for more than a minute, lines are one of our most effective ways of getting a message across. Seriously.

But that's just mine, and I do think he's a very rare case.

That is ridiculous!
To be given lines in the first place IMO is awful for something that sound quite trivial.
To be told to redo them as they're not neat enough sounds bloody pathetic!

I hope your boys are o.k and forget about this as it's the kind of thing that could turn a child against writing altogether i think. To be MADE to write for hours and criticised!

Fell very angry for your boys!