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Original poster

How did I end up with such an unfulfilling career? (Just a Monday morning rant)

16 replies

giddyupRudolph · 14/12/2009 09:53

I have 3 professional qualifications, 2 degrees, 4 A levels etc etc, so how come I ended up doing something so dull?

I know how - I needed the money and took the first good job that was offered to me. There wasn't a lot of choice in 1994. And I don't really regret it because if I hadn't done it then I wouldn't have met DH and I wouldn't have such a lovely DS. But God, I wish I were doing something different. And I really resent the fact that DS is in nursery so that I can spend my days doing something so unrewarding.

Problem is I'm 38 and it's getting a bit late to retrain.

My current plan is to set up as self-employed when DS gets his free nursery place at 3, but it will be the same tedious work for tedious clients, I'll just be able to do it from home instead.

Pah.

OP posts:

Openbook · 14/12/2009 10:03

Sorry but I had to laugh when you said 1994!That's a long time to be dissatisfied and do nothing about it. I know how it happens though - I suppose you were thinking about other things - ( for 15 years). I'm very conservative and never made a change in my career but i did progress through it and do have a good salary now which helps! I'm a believer in building on what you have got. But then - I'm also chicken!

iheartdusty · 14/12/2009 10:20

try googling life coach?

a bit of space and time to think it through with someone who is skilled in helping you make decisions can be really really helpful, you could start to see options that you would never have thought of alone.

Original poster

giddyupRudolph · 14/12/2009 10:24

It is a long time, blimmin 15 years. Sigh.

I did build on it, I had a very well paid job but I worked for an arsehole who ultimately thought a woman should be in the kitchen, so it was very soul destroying. When I had DS I left and decided to take a step sideways careerwise and downward salary wise. I now have a far less stressful job, but I'm bored if I'm honest. Friends who I have worked with along the way all seem to have found more interesting niches than I have (the grass being greener and all that) and are all earning far more than I do now. Admittedly they don't have kids yet.

I could probably just about go back to my former career but I would still have the same old issues and the hours would be longer so I would miss DS massively. That's a no goer really.

This just isn't rewarding enough or paying enough for me to justify the guilt and misery of sending DS to nursery every morning.

Think I should start doing the lottery.

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Original poster

giddyupRudolph · 14/12/2009 10:27

That's not a bad idea Dusty. I don't have anyone to talk to really who isn't neutral, my friends even all have an opinion.

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MollieO · 14/12/2009 10:35

giddyup I read your post and wondered if I'd namechanged! My actually really interesting career disappeared with the arrival of ds and I can never see it returning. I can empathise but no suggestions unfortunately.

LaurieFairyonthetreeeatscake · 14/12/2009 10:39

Retrain perhaps? Everyone on my courses is over 38 - oldest is 64 (counselling) - you can do the first 3 years part time (one evening a week) and then either work as a counsellor, do research, teach it, train as a supervisor, work as a centre manager etc.

Best thing I ever did (came from excruciatingly boring IT career)

Original poster

giddyupRudolph · 14/12/2009 11:00

I would like to craft, but unfortunately it won't pay the bills.

It seems a real backward step to give up on the last 15 years and retrain, but I think I might have to consider it for my sanity. I'm not half way through my working life yet.

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Original poster

giddyupRudolph · 14/12/2009 11:03

Last week I decided I wanted to be a breastfeeding counsellor. Yesterday I wanted to be an architect.

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purpleduckUnderTheMistletoe · 14/12/2009 11:09

"Problem is I'm 38 and it's getting a bit late to retrain".

RUBBISH!!!!
You have been bored for 15 years - and because of a number - you are prepared to go another 30 years !!!. I think you may have time to squeeze another career in there!!!!

If you really don't want to retrain right now, make a few lists.

On the first list, write down everything you LIKE about your job (even the small things, like "good coffee" or whatever). This is to to stop you from jumping off the nearest bridge. Try and focus on these things for awhile.

Next list - write down what you can expand on in your career. Is there something you enjoy that you can do more of? Or do in a different way so that you can get a bit of variety?

Next, write down what your strengths are. This list may have to be a work in progress that you come back to when you are feeling good. Sometimes we can't see our strengths when we are feeling down. Think of the things you enjoy doing, and WHY you enjoy doing them. Even if its little. Like - if you enjoy ...i dunno....baking. Is this because of the actual process, or because you like the challenge, or perhaps you like being able to start and finish a task in a short space of time... (crap example, but we just made cupcakes at the weekend, and they are all gone, and I'd really like one!!! .

Next, have a think about carers. Maybe look through some websites (ie wwww.prospects.ac.uk or similar). Don't regard this as research, just notice which careers you keep coming back to/or are drawn to. Maybe write them down, and see if there is a pattern. Are they all jobs that have variety? Or are people centred etc?

Good luck

purpleduckUnderTheMistletoe · 14/12/2009 11:12

careers not carers!!!!

By the way - colleges have careers advisors, and most are open to anyone who wants to use the service

purpleduckUnderTheMistletoe · 14/12/2009 11:14

giddyup, what do your friends say you should do? What do you think of it? Does it ring true at all, or does it seem like they don't know you at all?

Original poster

giddyupRudolph · 14/12/2009 11:52

My closest friend who trained with me 15 years ago knows me very well and she has been telling me for years to get out and do something different. She has diversified very well and has a very fulfilling (although very demanding and high profile) career. She thinks I should aim for next summer as the point to leave (when childcare is free) and go self employed for a while. I think this is sensible, but part of me is terrified of falling flat on my face and getting no work.

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Original poster

giddyupRudolph · 14/12/2009 11:54

That should tell me whether it's the work in itself that I don't like or just the environment I work in.

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Openbook · 14/12/2009 16:04

Sounds to me like you've got a plan. My career didn't take off till I was late 30s - it is definitely not too late.

Original poster

giddyupRudolph · 14/12/2009 20:51

Really? That gives me hope.

You have all put into perspective for me the fact that I am actually only a third of the way through my working life!

OP posts:

purplepeony · 16/12/2009 10:37

I'd reiterate that you are NOT too old, FGS!
I thought of retraining in law at around your age, decided I was too old- and have regretted it ever since.

I intend to work until I am 65+, so you have another 30 years ahead of you- I'd second consulting a careers coach for some insights.

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