I think I am going to be laid off because my child is sick. Any advice please?

[itsmeolord]

I began work for my company 21st Sept. I am on the usual three month trial set up.

My childminder had a car crash a couple of weeks ago, she called me to get dd so I left work straight away in a bit of a panic. I didn't let anyone know (I work independently off site) not out of any intentional deceit but literally panic/not thinking straight.
My boss called me to the office the next day, he knew I had left site, I apologised straight away and explained what had happened.

He wa very angry, shouting, the whole office heard. He told me I was on a final warning and I had to call the other owner of the company to apologise.....

This tuesday my dd was too ill for either childminder or school. I called early and let him know, he seemed ok about it, not chuffed but not too bad.
I had to call the doctor out last night as dd was getting worse, he diagnosed measles.

Called boss this morning, he is not happy, he has said to "sort dd out, we will have to have a conversation about this on your return to work."

Any advice to help appease the situation? I can't lose this job, I hve been made redundant twice this year, its so utterly shit. I haven't hd time off with a sick child for about two years now and I feel horrid panicking about work when dd is so poorly.

I can work from home if that makes a difference.

he sounds like a right fanny.

I think that because of the three month thing they can just la me off with no reason until that time is up. I have just over a week to go.

Am so pissed off, my target was only £8k this month, I have done £25k.

It is a nightmare, trying to hold down a job when you have a sick child. Like being torn in two.

Your boss does sound like a twat and a yob, but the fact remains you need this job. Is there any chance you can get someone to look after dd - probably not or you would have said so?

• get proactive, think what you can offer, take some work home, offer to do some extra time when dd is better, - show yourself willing, keen, committed (yes a bloody doormat but to keep the job and get a contract might be worth it!) Make an appointment to see him (both owners - is the other one more reasonable?) and think positive. They need to know that this is an unusual situation and unlikely to happen often. Be honest and upfront, but you don't need to beg. Good luck.

I have had dd vomiting in the back room of my office while I was talking to a client out front, because I had nowhere to take dd and no-one to cover for me on my job. She wasn't infectious or anything and luckily my boss wasn't around that day.

are you a single parent? if not, can't you let your partner take time off work to look after her?

just that you obviously want to keep the job and I think, as it's so early in your employment, you might have to try and demonstrate that.

I know there's nothing that can be done and it's all really unfortunate timing (poor you! and your childminder!).

I am pretty sure he can't put you on a final warning if that was the first time it's happened. Did he follow any proper procedure and give you any kind of written warning?

'Having a conversation about this' - well, that doesn't have to mean the end.

Any way you can get some employment law advice quickly? Try googling ACAS and ring them, or try the Citizens Advice Bureau who have some free employment law provision (as if you have time to go ). Not to go in with all guns blazing, but you will probably feel calmer if you know the exact situation.

The fact about your target is the most salient one - You've achieved more than 3x your target for crying out loud! What more does he want!

For your boss's face to be saved, is there anyone at all who can help you with your dd? If you can say 'I have put arrangements in place but I can't absolutely guarantee that this will never happen again, just as nobody can anticipate everything that happens in life', that sounds slightly better than 'I'm hoping it won't happen again'.

Feeling really for you

Well, nothing you can do about the fact that your boss is an arse.

I would start by showing that you are willing to work. Can you work from home this week?

How is your DD?

Thanks ladies,

dd is watching tv and seems much better now the rash has come out.
No high temp today.

DP has already taken off two days last week to cover for childminder being unavailable and also a week and a half at very short notice when childminder went on holiday. (a whole other thread......)
He was mde redundant earlier this year as well, neither of us have an holiday time so can't book holiday and dp has used up all his favours with his new boss.

I really do want to keep this job, do you think an email to both bosses might help? IE explaining this is absolutely not normal service and reiterting my commitment?

Yes, I would email them and ask how you can best work from home, assuming this is not already in place.

Keep them informed of how well you are working from home.

Hope your DD is better soon.

Agree, email. Also, is there anyone else you can ask for help from? Eg, any friends who are SAHP, could you offer to take their child/ren on a weekend/babysit in the evenings in return? Not necessarily for now, while she's got measles, but for a back-up next time the CM is ill/on holiday suddenly?

I work flexibly for myself and am very happy to be my friend's back-up childcare. She takes my child when I need her to, just not in office hours.

Definitely emphasise your target/performance. And talk to your husband about it all, too.

Good luck.

I would say talk to your boss rather than e-mail - gives you a chance to make more of a personal connection with him. But follow up with an e-mail in terms of what was agreed in your meeting, so that it's in writing.

And agree with MavisG - you will have to sort out some kind of back up care. Children have a knack, IME, of knowing when it's the worst time to be ill!

Good luck, I really hope you can get it sorted. Sounds like you're bloody good at your job too, if you can exceed your target by so much, it would be a shame to lose the job, and crazy for your employer to lose you.

Hi, I do have a back up in the form of my friend, however, she can't hve dd with measles.
My friend is a nanny and i pay her if she has dd, I couldn't fford to do this the last couple of times which is why dp took time off work. (I pay monthly in advance up to £750 a month. After two redundancies, one of which didn't pay me at all I didn't have spare cash to pay twice for childcare.)

Thanks again, I am good at my job,I think my boss feels I am not making enough effort though. His other guys ( I am the only female employee) are left alone to get on with their jobs, I am checked up on and generally feel mistrusted.
I love my job but the bits around it are getting me down. Unfortunately finances men I have to keep the job.

I would request a meeting with your boss for as soon as possible making the following clear:

1. This level of illness is unusual for your DD
2. You cannot predict when she is going to be ill, but you CAN commit to working from home if she is.
3. Spell out how well you are meeting your targets and how committed to the job you are.

I would also read up on parental leave. You are entitled to time off (unpaid but time off nevertheless) if your child is ill.

I think I would also have a good chat to your partner about your Childminder. Is she as reliable as you need her to be? Taking holiday at short notice can't have helped you at all.

You are entitled to unpaid time off for emergencies, see here, and you can't be penalised because of that right. The right would allow you to take a day or two in this kind of situation, and if your child will be ill for longer, you'd be expected to use your emergency time off to sort out a longer-term arrangement, or to arrange to take annual leave or similar.

However going off without telling anyone is a bit different and not acceptable as you know.

Don't be fooled by the probationary period. It has no meaning in law, it's only a handy way of putting a procedure in place for the employer. You have no extra rights after passing your probation - extra protection against unfair dismissal only kicks in after a year anyway.

I agree with Santa, please actually speak to your boss about this, don't just email. You can follow up with an email confirming what was said, but maintaining a good line of communication is crucial if you want to convince people you are reliable and motivated and keep them enthusiastic about you and your work. Sending emails for this type of communication won't achieve that imo.

Sorry, but at Flowery agreeing with Santa.

I seem to remember that there is legislation about parental leave, and that includes reasonable time off in an emergency to sort out that emergency.

And if your child is ill, you are entitled to leave I think, but unpaid. Many people just call in sick themselves though - deceptively but understandably...

And if he sacks you because of it, you almost certainly have a claim of unfair dismissal on indirect gender discrimination grounds.

Are you in a union? If not you should be. And you should look at the Equality and Human Rights Commission website for info on your rights at work as a mother.

Ah. X posts. What flwoery said.

"And if he sacks you because of it, you almost certainly have a claim of unfair dismissal on indirect gender discrimination grounds. "

I'm sorry, but I don't agree with this. For indirect discrimination to apply the rule not only has to have a disproportionate effect on women (which I am sure it would, since it tends to be women who drop everything when children are ill) but also be a rule which cannot be objectively justified in the needs of the business. I think it could be quite a struggle to convince a tribunal that rules about levels of absence during a probationary period are unreasonable and not justified. I can see the argument, but I would say that it's a risky case, not "almost certainly" one...

I'd agree with Flowery too

Sorry - yes. Guilty of my usual over-exaggeration. The principle would apply to this case, as you say, but the probationary thing complicates matters.

OK, thanks ladies.

I agree totally that leaving site was wrong and I have apologised for that, I understand it doesn't leave a good impression and sick child on top of that makes it worse.

I have called my boss, he just said the same thing, sort out your daughter and we will have to have a serious conversation when you return to work.

I have followed that up with an email now to both bosses, just reiterating how sorry I am for the previous incident and citing the fact that my child being ill is an unusual occurrence that hasn't happened for a very long while.
I've stated what work I'm going to be doing today and have stated that I'll keep them up to date with arrangements for dd.
GP seems to think she can return to school next Monday, apparently once the rash is out thats kind of the end of the measles.

Someone asked how shes got it? She didn't have the MMR, when she was 12 months ish it was booked in but she collapsed a few days before, fitted and was bluelighted to hospital It turned out she had....... the measles. The doctor said to have the vaccinations separately as she wouldn't need the measles bit, so she had mumps and rubella vaccinations separately.
We have had a few local measles cases here recently, although I think I am going to revisit that doctors advice in light of this weeks events.

Wilf - sorry, hope that didn't sound aggressive. Just didn't want OP to get over excited about the chances on that one...

Tbh I can sort of see your boss's POV on this.

While it is obv necessary to take time off when kids are ill, as an employer it must be a pita to have employees who are constantly taking time off practically without notice, and in three months this is your third period of absence, one of which you left the sight without notifying anyone which he was quite justified in being annoyed about.

I worked with someone who used to do this regularly. She would get calls from her kids/calls from the local farm to say her dog had got out and was up there shagging the local farm dogs, she even had to rush home once because she'd remembered she'd left something in the oven. She never told anyone, she would just up and leave and re-appear a couple of hours later.

Ultimately if you want this job you're going to have to show willing. And while exceeding your targets is obviously fantastic, it can't be relied on if your boss can't know whether you're going to be there or take off at a moment's notice.

So you need to speak to him, but you also need to sort out some backup childcare so that you can be at work as and when you're needed, esp at the moment.

When you got the job did they take up references: did previous employer mention your (non) sickness/absence record?