Please give me things to consider in making this decision.

[ChocOrange05]

Hi all

I have recently returned to work following maternity leave. I work 4 days in London and my commute is 2-2.5 hours a day so most days I work I only see DS for 30 mins in the morning or to say good night.

I asked to work 3 days instead but was told I cannot in my current job. I have been offered a role in another team but it is a step back for me as I was doing that job 3 years ago. I know I won't enjoy it as much either.

I am finding this a very difficult decision, to help I have been making a list of all the relevant factors to make the decision but I wondered if anyone had any thoughts on other things I should consider.

Has anyone else been in this situation?

Thanks!

are you planning more children soon, and what maternity pay do you get?

How many hours do you work? Can you work a standard 8 hour day? I drop my DS off at 8 and collect him at 6 which means I get around an hour with him morning and evening.

I wouldn't take a step back if I were you because I think it's such a hard won thing to progress in your career that you might feel really resentful. Also, if you're going to be separated from your child all day, I have found that doing a job I find rewarding makes it more bearable.

But other people I know would rather spend more time with their DC and are prepared to compromise on how much they enjoy their work.

sorry, that's not much help probably but I really think it's down to the sort of person you are and what your job means to you.

Is finance an issue - i.e how much would you loose by only do 3 days a weeK? That also hits how much you paying into a pension (if you are paying into a comapnt scheme).

How much will you save by not having to commute that extra day?

Is there any chance at all that you could work from home 1/2 days a month. I work 4 days a week, and have 12 hour day away from home because of a commute (almost the same as yours), but I occasionally can work from home, and this gives me sometime just to ease the pressure.

Thanks guys

To answer your q's:

• I want another baby in the next 18 months (ideally get pregnant mid next year)
• Financially 3 days a week is ok for us
• I asked to work from home but its not really an option, I can do it now and again but not more than once a month really.
• I only get SMP.

Keep them coming!

if you get SMP only then i suppose that isn't really a factor

It isn't a reason to stay - could it be a reason to leave?

My major thought at the moment is that if I am going to give up work/change jobs if I have another LO then I might as well do the other job as I am not building a career.

Its such a tough decision - I know I am lucky to have the options but I really am struggling with this one.

Your 4 day routine would be pretty hardcore with 2 DC tbh. I find it hard work with one, and have always thought that if we had another (HIGHLY unlikely to happen!) then something would have to change. TBH just by keeping working you ARE building a career - you would have a CV with no gaps, and most people would understand the change. After all, you are better doing a slightly junior job better then overstretching yourself at a higher level whilst trying to run a home and have everything fall apart around your ears.

What does your DP think?

DP is very supportive and wants me to do what makes me happy.

I agree with the overstretching comment "notyummy* - I don't know if I could/would want to do either job with another DC??

I have taken around 2 steps down since having ds. I was in a professional job as a manager, now I'm a practitioner 3 days a week. I took the decision because I decided I didn't want to manage 'on-calls' and other extra responsibilities associated with a senior job. I was lucky that money wasn't too much of an issue.

It's never really bothered me. I enjoy the job, can do it competently, can go home and not worry and also be around a couple of days after school to enjoy ds. When he's older I hope to pick it all up again, but untill then, I'm all for an easy life and time to enjoy him.

I think I am finding it really hard to let go of my job - I worked pretty hard to get here and I like telling people my job as its a good one and I feel proud about it. I feel a bit like I am giving up a part of me - does that make sense?

Is there anyway you could change jobs completely?

I was a management consultant when I had DD and was frequently away from home 3 nights a week - add a DH in the military and away a LOT then you can see it just wasn't feasible. I have moved into the public sector as a manager and I earn less than I did (although still what the majority of people would see as a bloody good salary). The main thing is that I only have to stay overnight infrequently, and it is prior arranged - plus we have flexi etc for the time dd is ill.

Do you mean move companies notyummy? I have looked at lots of other options but there is nothing out there that would give me a comparable salary. I would have to work 5 days locally for the same money 3 days in London. Its not really worth it.

I think, I have decided to go for the 3 day role, I am not sure either way but I would rather regret making a bad work decision than regret not spending more time with DS. Does that make sense?

Know exactly what you mean and also understand the salary issue. I live in rural Lincolnshire (no option due to DH job) and finding a salary more than £40K is v difficult - hence my long commute.

I would resent a 2.5 hour commute on top of a days work keeping me away from my dcs, couldn't you get a job nearer to your home?

If you take away the cost of your commute does that reduce your salary by enough if you compare it to the 3 day a week job?

I think very small children in long day day care is pretty hard going for all concerned, but mostly for them. Unless it's vital I think you should reconsider your commute.

Of course you'll regret not spending time with your ds more than your job, surely???