Going back to work after maternity leave!! :-( Go back fulltime or reduce hours ?? please help

[shellmc]

Hi there,

I am undecided what to do!! And would like anyones opinions please.
I am currently on maternity leave i have a 5 and half month old baby boy and im not due back to work untill feb, but as xmas is aproaching fast i know ill be back at it quicker than i know! :-(
I am full ov mixed emotions at the minute, i feel i dont want to leave my baby, there is no seperating us at the minute.
I love being with him and cant begin to imagine what it is going to be like going back to work and not being with him but i know i have to.
I always said i would go back fulltime but now he is here and i have realised how hard it can be, im not sure what to do, me and hubby do need the money but im scared it will all be too much, dealing with baby and housework ect. I usually work 8.45-5pm so by time i get home and pick baby up its gonna be around 6ish he usually settles for bed at 7ish soo not gonna have long with him at all.
Is there anyone who has gone back to work full time??? How are you/ did you find it?? I dont want to drop many hours if i do, but just having a bit more time with our son would be great. Will i still beable to claim tax credits 2? The way im looking at the moment is id rather be happy than well off and shatterd!
Please any comments would be great to help me make my mind up xx

I went back to work full time after having DS1 - he was 4.5mnths. It was hard, esp as i was still bfing so had to express at work. BUT, I only went back as DH was a SAHD so it made it all a lot easier.

Since I had DS3, I've gone back part time - I've actually condensed my hours so I work longer days but only 3 days a week which means I miss the boys much less but still earn money!

As for tax credits - you can still claim child tax credits if your household income is less than about £55k. Working tax credit limit I think is about £16k. To claim help with childcare, you and your partner both need to be working a minimum of 16hrs/week. Hope that helps.

And, there isn't a right decision - you just need to work out what will fit with your situation. Might be worth talking to your employer to see how flexible they are. (you are aware of the flexible working laws?)

Hi asuwere,
Thankyou soo much for your reply, i think the best thing to do is maybe pop in and speak to my employer, what are the flexible working laws??
Wer ok with childcare as our parent s are splitting it :-).
Me and dh are on a low income ad we both will be working more than 16 hours soo hopfully the tax credits will help.
How did you feel and was it hard leaving you dlo and going back to work??
At the minute i dont think i could stand it.
It will get easier wont it??
Thanks again

sorry for spelling mistakes :-(

I went back full time when DS was 10 months. In my area of work I have seen too many mums reduce hours and reduce wages but still have just as much work to do. I do my full time hours but that is all I do I don't take work home.

I live v close to both my work and nursery ( as does DH) so I drop off in the morning as DH starts too early and DH picks up at night so DS doesn't have too long a day at nursery. But if we had a big commute this might be unworkable.

I have been very happy with the nursery and DS was very happy there from day one. I could hardly get his jacket off, before he was shooting across the floor to cause mayhem. But my friends little girl didn't like it all. That would have been difficult.

I get childcare vouchers but no tax credits.

Thanx cicatrice for your reply.

Work is around 20 mins from where i live so not too far to travel, our parents only live 5 minutes away too, which is lucky for us.

DH starts work earlier than me so id have to take DS to our parents in the mornings, and he also finishes later than me soo id pick DS up after work.

I have 9 months maternity leave and when im due back to work DS will be 8 months old.
I just want to make sure i will still have time with him. Iv also said to My Mam and MIL that im going to have to drop him off with them for an hour or so and gradually build up to a few hours just to see if he will settle and to try and make it easier for him and also for myself.

I went back to work after my first two. I went back full-time, as part-time wasn't even an option in those days.

I lived close to work and my childminder was nearby. In the early days, I went to the childminders to breastfeed, and I was also able to pump and store at work. I found it easier to get childcare if I was able to commit to full time, otherwise I would basically have had to be in a share arrangement where some other mum worked exactly the opposite hours to me.

Depending on your job, I find that full-time is preferable because you are more in touch with everything that is going on. I know some people who work part-time and their day off always coincides with the staff meeting day, so they always miss out and are never quite in the loop.

If you are in a more blue collar environment then you obviously have a work-life balance where you get paid more if you work more, or have a better home life but less money. That's if your part-time is whole days and you don't have lots of travel time tagged onto part-days.

Sorry for not replying again but was on my way to bed when I posted last night.

Here's a link about flexible working Your employer might be flexible without making a formal application but does depend on the employer.

Also, I did find it quite difficult the first few days leaving DS1 - it was the first time I'd left him for a whole day but it really was fine. After about a week, we were in such a good routine that it did just work - I still saw DS in the morning and he was just going to bed when I came home so was able to give him his last feed which was nice

I think the thought of it is much worse than actually doing it. And, depending on your work, you'll be so busy when there that you will be distracted and not really think about DS too much.

Thanks again for your comment,

I will prob find it easier once im back its just the thought of it at the minute!!! :-(
Il have to make an appt to go and speak to my employer and see what rights i have to reduce hours if i go along that line.
Im in a pretty good routine and can get up be ready and have ds ready in time soo i know il be okay that way.

I'm having this dilemma at the moment too! I was hoping to go back on three long days - 27 hours a week but my partner wants me to work more! I 'm now thinking of doing 33 hours with the understanding that if it's too much I can drop down.
My baby's six months and it just seems to have gone too quickly and and he seems too small to leave - i'm due back in Feb too, but am hoping to take a couple of months unpaid and then use annual leave to get me through to nearly a year. I'm hoping i'll feel happier about leaving him when he's one.

It's horrid though isn't it!?!

Shellmc

You will be fine. In fact, you'll find out what multi-tasking means, and if you're anything like me, you'll get to like the fact you can do it so easily. And be proud of yourself [tho frankly you'll be the only one who is]. If you have a decent minder/nursery, your baby will be chilled too. You'll wonder why, but she/he will be. I went back to work full-time [9- 6pm] when my baby was 5 months - she's now 6.5 months. She LOVES the minder, but - and here's the good bit - she loves me more. I shan't get all sugary on you, but going to work is simple when coming home is this good.
My partner earns half my salary so I have to work as we need the money. We both work full-time, tho he's changed his hours slightly so he can pick up DS1 in the evening.
But, you'll be amazed how quickly you get into the swing of it. Two weeks in you'll have a pang of anxiety about not thinking about your child enough, but that soon passes.
I would have been the happiest person alive to be able to stay at home with my little friend, but I didn't have the choice. I knew it and mentally prepared myself I suppose. But, it was still really hard. It's not the way I was brought up, and none of the women in my family have ever worked, so my life is viewed through something of a long lens by the other members of my faml.
But, I'm happy because I know I'm doing the best I can to make the best of what I've got.
And, that keeps me going.
Try it.

I have done both. I worked 4 days a week with both when they were babies, but i've just done a year of full-time. They are 8 and 4 now. Always having to leave work exactly on time to fetch them used to cause problems and I was very very stressed out.I felt as if I was never giving my all to any part of my life.
Full-time is easier. No competition. I have lots of help with the housework from my partner though. If yours doesn't do housework, you will need a cleaner. When I'm home, I don't even think about work, but focus on my family.
My childminder is like a grandmother to my kids. Children have an endless capacity for love. So long as they are in a happy, loving environment, they will flourish.
And not having enough money can cause awful stress, in which case there's no point being at home with them!

Agree with what the others have said - I went back to work in a fairly senior job in London in August when DD was 5.5 months old. The thought of going back was much worse than actually being back. And DD really loves being with our childminder and the other children.

However, I have a 1.25 hour commute each way into London so DD is with the childminder from 7.30-6.30 each day and I still work less hours than my colleagues as I have to leave at 5pm on the dot to catch the train home.

After 3 months back at work I think the following things are important to consider when looking at PT/ FT hours:

• Whether DP can help with drop offs/ picks ups. Mine can't because of his hours which means I have to do drop off and pick up at the childminder most of the time, plus deal with any emergencies.

• Having family e.g. grandparents nearby to provide support & backup childcare if you need it (again we don't)

• Commute time - if you have a long commute then it makes it so much harder.

• Obviously the money question - how much you have left after paying for the childcare and whether you feel that extra cash is worth having

I'm now trying to find a new (lower grade) role in the same company 4 days a week but longer term we're planning to move somewhere else where we can get jobs nearer to my parents as we've found trying to juggle two full-time jobs plus long commutes etc. to be completely uncompatible with a happy home life. The money's great but if you're all too knackered to enjoy it and never see your DC then what's the point...