Interviewer will be using "SAHM" status against me apparently, any tips?

[WideWebWitch]

Help! I've got a second interview tomorrow and apparently the man I'm seeing is likely to use the fact that I've been a SAHM against me and will try to negotiate me down on salary on this basis. I won't be having any of it but I wondered if anyone had any useful advice or tips on what to say/not to say? If he suggests I'm rusty I'm thinking along the lines of saying ?well, my area of expertise hasn't changed in that time (which is true) and the principles of xyz remain the same (they do)? and ?If I can placate a room full of 3 year olds then I can certainly deal with any challenging customer/supplier/staff behaviour. I've learned to be more patient and strategic in my thinking etc as a result at being home with a child? Is that pushing it? Should I do the Kate Reddy thing (she?s from the book ?I don?t know how she does it? of not mentioning children at all? Any other ways I can give myself an edge? Any other good answers to awkward questions? I'm up against 3 others, who haven?t been SAHMs as far as I know. TIA.

[Bobbins]

Hope all is well. And just reasonably tell the eejit you're blimmin well worth every blinkin penny. We know.

[tigermoth]

hope your interview went well, www. Most importantly, how do you feel about the job and company now that you have gone through two intrerviews - do you feel the company is one you could work in? I think interviews are two way processes. OK, you are the one being asked most of the questions, you are still interverviewing the company, working out if you could fit in with their way of thinking.

good luck, and hope they don't keep you on tenterhooks for too long.

[WideWebWitch]

I completely, utterly, totally f up the interview It was the worst interview I've done in years. However, no, I don't think I did want the job tigermoth because the director who first interviewed me had been demoted by the second interview (a week later) so it was more or less a first interview all over again. well, waste my time (the first time, I mean) why don't you? I didn't like the MD, sneered at his personalised numberplate Merc in the car park and at all the things the agency had told me about him and actually, I didn't want the job in the end. But I did* want the opportunity to turn it down, rather than not getting it just because I screwed up at interview! Never mind, all good experience. I think I went in there feeling too negative about them and him and just lost my nerve. It's really not like me but we all have off days. I'll have to wait to apply for proper jobs until after this baby's born now since it will be too obvious that I'm pregnant from here on in (14 weeks today). Thanks for all the advice and support everyone, it really helped.

[Ghosty]

Sorry to hear that WWW ... they obviously aren't worthy of you .... Chin up ....

[Tinker]

Aaaaah, put it down to the old experience thing. I remember one job interview after I'd been on the dole for 6 months. They asked me why I'd applied - er, 'Ineed a job'. WRONG ANSWER! You can't work for someone with a personalised number plate, really, come on.

[Marina]

Tinker's quite right, he must be an eejit on so many levels. REALLY sorry you did not get the chance to say, no thanks, though. It's their loss and surely the company is in a bit of a state if people can be demoted in the midst of recruiting staff...we all think you are fab, anyway, WWW. Why not consider an attractive career in stress-free, safe, parent-friendly librarianship...

[Metrobaby]

WWW - sorry to hear that it went badly.

I can't help thinking though if this boss who you feel was likely to use being a SAHM against you then would you want to work for him anyway ??? Sounds like he would not be sympathatic to working Mums. I've found that having an understanding boss is paramount. Balancing childcare and work is so difficult and you need someone who is understanding and flexible - not resenting you or thinking of you in an unfavourable light just because you have to say leave early, or take a day off at the drop of a hat.

I was made redundant a year ago, was a SAHM for only 5 months - but must admit I never mentioned being a Mum in my interviews purely because I didn't think it was relevant for the interviewer to know. I know it shouldn't matter but I don't know if the interviewer might inadvertatly discriminate me. The job market is tough (in my field), at the moment so I wasn't taking any chances. Once I got my job offer and arrived at the job I made it very clear I was a Mum and therefore couldn't do overtime and even adjusted my hrs slightly with my boss' full consent. I thought if my boss ever made an issue of this I wouldn't want to work there anyway. As tigermoth quite rightly says, a job is a 2 way street, and this is very easy to forget. WWW - you are a valuable employee with a lot of skills to offer. You should not have to justify having been a SAHM at all IMHO.

Good luck for your future job hunting

[lucy123]

Oh, I was looking forward to congratulating you.

Sounds like a horrible company though - never mind.

[WideWebWitch]

Thanks everyone. Marina, Ex DH said why didn't I think about family friendly public sector, so I may well do. Tinker, at your interview answer and you're absolutely right re number plates and so is everyone that said if that's his attitude why would I want to work there? So There!

[sis]

WWW, I know what you mean about being able to say no thanks rather than not get the job you don't want anyway, so sorry you didn't get the chance. To be honest, it doesn't sound like a good employer anyway so I hope you enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and find the right job when you are ready.

[elliott]

sorry about the job, IME I've found it impossible to perform well in interviews when I've been ambivalent about whether I've wanted the job - I must be far too transparent!!
Hope you find something you want enough when you start looking again.

[leese]

sorry to hear that www - are you still looking for work here, or putting it all on hold now?

[Bobbins]

Oh babe! Never mind. They didn't deserve you.

I'm in the public sector and it feels good. The wages are carp.(sp!)..cod and plaice, but I wouldn't go outside because I'm happy here and feel respected as an individual, and when I had a family, I felt that was respected too. Work/Life balance and 'all that'.

Good luck lady!

[tigermoth]

www, you'll sorry it was a C* interview. But it also sounds like this man would have been a bad boss for you. If you were so clearly warned he would use your SAHM status against you in the interview, there's a pretty good chance this would have been a continuing theme if you were employed in that company. I know what it's like to work for non family friendly companies, and especailly a non family friendly line manager. It is soul destroying.

If you feel you could go into the public sector, I think it's a very good idea. And if you were visibly pregnant at the time of interview, I would imagine public sector employers would be the least likely to see this as a problem, and certainly wouldn't discriminate against you.

I want to post more but have to dash.

[doormat]

Sorry to hear that www.

[griffy]

WWW - so sorry to hear your news. I remember going for a job once that I really wanted, but every time I opened my mouth, a great big ugly toad seemed to leap out and squeak out the most inappropriate things. I feel for you!

At the same time, I'm sure that you wouldn't want to work for someone who was too stupid to see how brilliant you would have been in his poxy job. (I reckon his number plate was A55 0LE).

[WideWebWitch]

Thanks so much for the commiserations. Umm, had a phone call and the new FD (i.e not the TO5 5ER guy but the other one) realised I hadn't been on best form and wants to see me again if I'm still interested. He did say I did a pretty bad interview (so I wasn't wrong there!) but apparently I asked an important question that no-one else did and was the only person to bring along documentation demonstrating how I'd deal with their main issues. So it seems I didn't stuff it up quite as much as I thought. Hmmm, not sure whether to go or not yet, we'll see. I think if I do go I'm going to be honest about being thrown by the change in management structure and about my reservations re the job and we'll see what happens from there. Getting it means we can move sooner rather than later and I do want to move asap so it could be a means to an end in the medium term. Or maybe I'll get the chance to turn it down after all, maybe not! Thanks for your support everyone, you're most lovely and lots of you made me laugh, especially re the number plate

[mears]

Sorry to read about your interview experience www. Sounds as though it wasn't entirely fruitless. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

[willow2]

Go for it WWW - at least then you have the option of turning it down when they offer you the job. And if you don't then they are a bunch of merchant bankers who wouldn't recognise a good thing if it came over and whacked them on the head with a shovel. Not that I'm advocating violence, mind.

[tigermoth]

agree with willow2, go for it. They must be keen on you to have asked you back. Keep an open mind, ask pertinant questions about the management structure and what they will expect of you. Make sure you've got a good handle on them - your interviewer sounds a bit on the slippery side to me. If you're offered the job, you can always turn it down. Good luck!

[Marina]

You can't take it now, we all told you they were rubbish . But that's great news, www, definitely agree with the others, it's well worth checking out again. Even on an off-form day they all want www...and quite right too, TO5 5ERs or not.