Hi dinny, over the 9 years I have been a mother, I have gone from one extreme to the other. I have had two jobs, totalling a 50+ hour week, working weekends and weekdays, for a non-child friendly employer. I have also been a total SAHM, at homr with my baby all the time. In between these extremes, I have also been an SAHM who freelances sometimes with the toddler in a daily nursery for a few hours so I have (yippee!!) time alone. Also I have worked full time for a more child friendly employer, having a shorter 37 hour week, with some days spent working from home.
For me, the less extreme times were the best. With all these ups and downs, I never see any working/care arrangement as permanent. My approach is this year I am working away from home more than last year, but next year might be different. So, as an SAHM, I never felt I was relinquishing my career. And, even when working 50 hours a week, I never felt I was not a hands on mother and that I was permanently disappearing from my son's life. In the latter case I organised my time so that I had about 3 hours a day with my son and 1 day at weekends. But no time, of course, left for me and I got totally exhausted.
I went back to work when my first son was 15 months old. Before that I had been a total SAHM and really loved it. Initially my hours were child friendly and I worked some days from home. But by the time my son was 4 I was working less from home and had another job at weekends (financial necesssity) so for a good year or two my son saw far more of his dad. Second time round, I went back to full time work when my son was 7 months old. Stopped working weekends, so not as manic a schedule. Was made redundant when my son was 2.5 years. Spent a year and a bit as a SAHM, but freelanced as and when and had my son in nursery for some of the day. Now I am about to return to full time work, but with flexihours and a shorter travelling time, so I spend 12 hours a week more at home than in my last full time job.
So you see my sons had very different experiences of me being around. Yet I can't say the changes have made a huge differerence to their development or happiness. They have always had good care from others when I haven't been around.
So, if I can give you any advice I'd say don't feel guilty about your choice or treat your present status as a fixed label. By giving up work for a while you are not relinquishing your career forever IME.
Incidently, every time I've left work to become an SAHM, the next job I'be got has been better for me either in terms of money or conditions