I've resigned; I should feel brilliant, but I don't

[KorrallKrabba]

..a bit long...but needed to get it out. I posted quite a lot last year under a different name.

I currently work in a prof client-facing environment, but since returning from ML (DC1) have found it really tough for various reasons - some personal, some down to the circumstances at work. I've tried lots of different things to make it work. I'm still performing well if not better than colleagues at my level, according to feedback and various objective measures. I'm finding a lot of work drifting into days off, to keep up with demands/cover for other team members/make sure clients get the quality they need - which is hard to deal with as I don't have the flex on childcare cover or the salary incentive to make this work. Things came to a head, I took some time to contemplate and handed in my notice. I'm now at the beginning of a longish notice period, with no job to go to (yet)

While deep down I know it's the right decision to leave the current job (toxic environment, I'm powerless to do anything about without going back full-time) and DH is supportive, I feel absolutely gutted. I've always defined myself by my career, so I've left a massive job-shaped hole and not quite sure how to approach the what-next...?

What can I do to make me feel better about this decision? Advice appreciated.

You have done the right thing for you - good on ya for being brave enough to kick it right in the bollocks. If your notice period is long then use it to take a look at the jobs on offer, no rushing, mind - and enjoy some quality time with your dc.
Know what you mean by defining yourself by your career - but hey it might be time for a break. Find the "me" again and then decide what you want next. You have made the hardest move, but I promise you it will be the best one

I know how you feel. I felt like this back in March when threatened with redundancy after 20 years at the same law firm. I felt defined by my job (although I certainly wasn't a high-flyer) but I felt part of the team and played an important part towards the smooth running of a massive department.

I was lost, I was scared, etc etc BUT I found another job, better than the last one, flexible, better pay, far more enjoyable work, interesting, nice people, really nice working environment, no pressure and no stress. And did I mention more money and more holiday?!!

Every day I thank my lucky stars for that "opportunity" to change course in my working life and I haven't looked back.

In the beginning though, first few weeks after leaving the firm, I was lost, missed colleagues and friends, felt like a fish out of water, dreaded being new somewhere but now, three months down the line, I feel like a new person, happier, certainly less stressed, less shouty, a nicer person, and a better mother definitely.

I wish you the same luck with your future.

I know how you feel, I've resigned twice in the last 18 months and even though it's been the right thing both times sometimes you can feel bit flat and tempted to think you've made the wrong decision. Keep positive as you didn't take this decision lightly and as others have said the job wasn't right for you

While you're working your notice period try to take a step back when you can - I'm also working through a long notice period at the moment and find this quite hard but my DH keeps telling me off for staying late! Don't let work drift into your time off, instead put aside time to do a proper job hunt, you can do a lot on the internet these days.

Good luck - I'm sure a few months down the line you will feel that you made the right decision

Thanks guys, all quite tricky as I've also been forbidden from saying anything to team and colleagues too, until the corporate wheels crank into motion to make an 'appropriate' announcement or try and persuade me to change my mind.

So the limbo element is a problem.
Anyway, I know I'm not the first person to experience this, but it's good to hear some positive stories.

i have resigned recently also....was a real bad situation and was also told i was clearly being taken for a ride by my manager (actually my manager's manager who became my manager a few months back)

anyhow.....was very bad and due to long notice peiod, i resigned but don;t have anything lined up yet and getting veryu scared.

how have rest of you handled things? I see posts from those working PT and can't even imagine that as an option. would just be happy to find a FT job where i am not looked down at for not working late if office versus taking work home.

who knew having a baby was so incopatible with the work force...... yikes! its prob just i was in a bad environment.....