Help with 'time off for dependents' and ideas please

[wanttobeanonforthis]

If anyone recognises me from the details please don't out me as I don't know if anyone from dh's work or any family are on here.

Basically I'm pregnant with fairly bad spd. I had pnd after having dc1 and have had a couple of bad days while pregnant though this has mainly been because I'm housebound with the spd. I'm supposed to be getting a Homestart volunteer but am still waiting. We have no family near by.

Dh's company have been really really sympathetic and have allowed dh to take holiday at short notice (though dh would have been willing to take 'time off for dependents' unpaid if necessary). Each time it has been unforseen that he's going to need the day off. e.g. I've woken up and can hardly move so need help to get up, emptying potty, get food/drinks for dc1 etc. Basically it's been the days when I can't walk without help. He has on occasion been able to work from home on these days instead.

Dh was called into a meeting (told in advance) yesterday to discuss things. His boss suggested that perhaps he wanted to consider going to a 4 day week for a while or taking some time off (as a sabattical). However we can't afford either of these. He was told to have a think and have a meeting next week to discuss it again.

Anyway, I suggested that an option might be for him to work from home one day a week (pref Weds so it breaks my week up). The idea being that the day he is home he does a full days work but also helps me by doing the things that make my spd worse (emptying potty, stuff that involves going upstairs, etc.). By getting that break I'm not going to have days where the spd is too bad to move with, thus meaning dh won't have to take any time off at short notice. It also means that the company know he'll be at home that day and can arrange stuff around it and if he absolutely had to go into the office then he could probably go in for the time needed (say for a meeting or whatever). Anyway he spoke to his boss today and they aren't keen .

I've had a look at the Direct Gov website which says "There's no limit to the number of times you can take time off for dependants, provided it's for real emergencies. If your employer feels that you are taking more time off than they can cope with, they should warn you of this." but it doesn't say what happens etc if they do inform you that you're having too much time off.

Can anyone tell me where he stands or if there's any other options he could suggest to them?

Hhhm, yes, but the SDA claim would have to be for direct discrimination for a male (i.e that they would have agreed a request from a female), since there is unlikely to be the disproportionate effect on men to support an indirect discrimination claim. That makes it a lot harder for a man to use the SDA. Totally agree that an informal request could be made though.

In terms of the working from home, think we probably have to agree to disagree. I can totally see why the OP wants her husband at home and how it could be helpful. My DH does the same thing from time to time. However, when your request for home working is specifically on the basis that you will be carrying out caring duties during the day, a lot of employers will turn it down and it's pretty hard to challenge.

We agree re the SDA! Indirect marital claim (possible if married but stats may not support) or a direct sex claim.

If you did make a flexible work application just be careful how you draft it. WAH would mean less commuting (is that so?) and that you could spend your lunch times and two five minute breaks a day helping with your DC's. I can imagine a request made by a woman to work from home say who had a nanny caring but who wanted to be present in the home during the day even though she was not actually caring for the children.

Anyway OP I hope you sort it, a friend had SPD and my sympathies to you.