Redundancy and depression

[wheelsonthebus]

Anyone else out there redundant and feels like giving up? It has been five months now - a few interviews, but no job still. My lovely career is in ruins and I can't see the point in anything. The summer is going by in a blur.

Wheels?

Hi wheels and thanks for starting this thread. Hope you're doing OK and I just wanted to say that there are a few of us in the same boat at the moment. I really need to come back and re-read the whole thread, particularly for toughdaddy's advice.

In short, DP and I both made redundant in the past year. DP has found a new job but at half the salary - but you know what, he loves it!

Gorgon - I'm struggling with some of the other issues you mentioned and fear that my own feelings are getting very mixed up.

Love to keep this thread going for everyone who needs it. I must admit I had stopped looking at Employment Issues as I didn't think there was anything there for me any more.

Rockdoctor- I hope that we hear from Wheels soon. Great to hear that you and DH are fighting back.

Lots of us are adjusting to shocks to our income and assets. But I am not working as hard and I am better off in many ways. I was only saving it up for old age and to pass on so in some ways it is good that things have rebalanced.

Hi rockdoctor - I'd love to keep the thread going too and for it to be a support group for those who have been made redundant. TDiddy's definitely the group therapist . I hoep wheels checks in too.

I am sorry that you are in the same boat and recently redundant. Have you had any luck finding work or are you looking at retraining or an alternative career path? How are you filling your time?

Sorry to hear you have similar confusion to me. I can feel myself slipping to a low point and I am trying to resist . I wouldn't class myself as depressed (been there, done that ) but I'm demotivated, feel identity/structure-less, unhappy and boooooored out of my teeny-tiny mind. I absolutely loved my career and it was going well until they culled a lot of us. Currently, I don't want to contemplate an alternative career path (that does not preclude me doing other jobs in the meantime, I just don't really want to embark on another career IYKWIM ) so I'm worried about the implications of being out of my profession for a while, as the chance of even getting an interview is pretty minimal at the moment.

hi to everyone else on the thread.

G_Gin,

Yeah, Law and Finance are really hurting. I know from my own experience. The banks are just starting to stablise but the public sector is lagging. I do think that our generation have this challenge like our grandparents had the war

Do you mind me asking which area in law?

Is there one single thing that you would fantasised about doing when you had busy career like:

1)learning a new language
2)exercising
3)turning into an even finer physical specimen
4)becoming politically active

This could be a short term distraction to nourish your soul. You can compartmentalise and address the financial need (if applicable) separately.

our generation have has this

Hi TDiddy, I am (was?) a real estate finance lawyer. The commercial property market is woeful and as a double whammy, I did most of work for the investment banks (including Lehmans!). There is not a lot of call for the likes of me at the moment Did you work in an investment bank before your redundancy? What sort of area do you work in now?

Gosh you are good at this motivation stuff! I actually feel better for typing this stuff out Are you sure you haven't retrained as a life coach?! You are right about nourishing the soul. Using your points:

1)learning a new language - Yes very possibly. I am a fluent French and tolerable Greek speaker, and have been musing about trying to expand on my ancient GCSE German

2)exercising - definitely! But anything other than gentle exercise is slightly curtailed at the moment

3)turning into an even finer physical specimen - why thank you, but see above

4)becoming politically active - Hmmm, definitely interesting! I contacted my MP first week off about helping out in her constituency office/Westminster, but she emailed back to say that she is currently awash with 20-something summer interns and to get back to her in October However, I'm free to stand for any party in a general election is called tomorrow though

And adding a 5...I want to try my hand at stand up comedy

Wheels are you still about? Hope you are ok. hello to rockdoctor

G-Gin,

yes, I am/was in banking and spent much time on real estate! So I know exactly where you are coming from. In fact we might know some people in common. I have friends who were RE lawyers. One partner I know had started growing a Corporate reovery team just before the crash so he is very well hedged.

Gosh you are talented! I bumped into my local MP in the supermarket the other day. We chatted about MP's expenses - I was sympathetic . He was very keen to ask me to help knock on doors -his seat is marginal. Had a text from him for last weekend but couldn't make it.

Comedy- lots of jokes to make about bankers, MPs and lawyers. YOu could knock Harry Hill(?) of the TV.

I am middle child from a very large family and my parents said that I had to understand and adjust to all the sibling dynamics.

I currently doing some interim work after 3mths off. I regret a little that I didn't enjoy the 3 mths off. Of course easy to say in hindsight.

I saw lawyers ebsite (roll on friday) about magic circle law firm notifying people of redundancy by telephone message. disgraceful. Anyway putting that all behind me.

I really recommend trying to help a realtive who needs the help. I spent much time trying to find someone else a job and it didn't interfere but helped me in so many ways. I did get him a couple of interviews. But he is still looking.

Also, I helped a very busy couple by picking uo and looking after their 3 DCs from school a few days per week. So I was looking after 6 children- it was mostly fun.

Oh, I did a bit of "day trading" for fun as well. Be careful with that it is addictive but can be done as constructive and efficient investing.

Oh- I must tell. My former employer sent me to one of those career transition firms (outsourcing/counselling that sort of thing). And they assigned me a mentor - it turned out that my mentor was a big cheese trader from the investment bank that I worked for! So maybe I should retrain; thanks. Talk tommrw

Last thing G_Gin: I re-read the thread and I fully understand about the exercise thing. This is an exciting time for you. Enjoy it. One of my former colleagues retrained as a yoga instructor and she is so so relaxed and happy. I sometimes envy her. Did you get the book?

Good night

Hi - just checking in and really enjoying some of the ideas being talked about on here.

I was working in project management for a large corporate, have got a generous payout and access to career transition counselling although I haven't really used the latter yet. I guess I was over the moon when the idea of redundancy was first mentioned as I was pg with no.2 and thought I would neatly slip into the role of sahm. Anyway, two mc's later, that dream has started to sour and I am thinking perhaps I should turn my energy to something else. To be honest I am about to go on a long holiday and really want to use the time to get my head around things ready for a new start in the Autumn.

Short post sorry but will try and catch up later.

Rockdoctor- Have been seeing project mgmt roles in Finance industry altho' I am sure that they are heavily over-applied for. Try to enjoy your holiday as you would if you were working. Even better that you will not have Monday blues when you get back. Best wishes

hi folks - still here and reading thru the latest posts which are very useful. On the money front, i agree that it is a separate issue from the emotional one. however i met a former colleague of mine on Monday (out of work for 15 months now) and his payoff has nearly run out. That is scary, and tends to permeate all things for me.
Having said that, i spend a lot more time with dc which is great and our house/garden is spotless . I now realise why my mother goes off cleaning the bathroom/kitchen cupboards when she is anxious about something. A very sweet friend has offered me a day with her in her posh gym/spa (it is on a recruitment drive, so I could have 7 free days there if i wanted). That sounds nice. Am interested in the idea of becoming more politically active (in return for an evening meal on his/her expenses..!)

Wheels- great to hear fom you!! Sounds like you have been busy. Have you been doing any dancing whilst cleaning though ?

When I was at home, I based financial planning on assumption that wouldn't work for a year or so.

You don't want to spend all day, every day worring so you are right to make timetable tiime for the worrisome things and time for relaxation. Seven days of posh spa sounds perfect!! Don?t tell us where it is as we might all pile in.

It is not nice to thrive off of other people?s misery but a little of ?atleast I am not as badly off as xyz? is not necessarily a bad thing. None of us will starve but our feeling of wellbeing is more correlated to our feeling of relative living standards than it is correlated to absolute living standards. So people feel good/rich depending on how they compare to neighbours, friends, colleagues. So hanging out only with the private school crowd is not always good when the chips are down.

Here is the thing; when you are 80yrs and look back at your life, the things that you are likely to value most might be more biased to relationships than to money that you might have earned in this period of unemployment.

If it doesn?t depress you, apparently everyone is entitled to basic job seekers allowance (GBP 65 per week) regardless of you assets/savings if they are happy to go to the job centre every other week and tell them what you are doing to find work.

tks tdiddy; haven't yet ventured to the jobcentre but it may come to that; and am avoiding the private school crowd like the plague. Just noticed the posh spa has a 'wax and wine' session - wax and whine more like

GGin - stand up comedy? Go for it! We will fill the place with mumsnetters and vote you the best thing since Marcus Brigstock (saw him recently on Dave comedy chanenel as a guest on Jack Dee show - he had me rolling about, my dh was astonished - hasn't heard me laughing in nearly half a year)

Wheels- actually when u are ready, the schoolgate is quite good for networking. If you are quite open and catch the right people then u could get opps. Couple of parents were really good. Altho' i didn't think fit was good, one did offer me job in a new sector. I didn't go for it in the end. He also offered me opp to shadow him so that I could work out if i liked it.

GGin- the MPs might have lots of offer for support staff but most of them should snap up offers to help canvass. Mine added me to his address list for canvassing. he has started early so I was out there knocking on doors with him and a few stalwarts for a couple of hours this morning. It is actually a good way of getting to know the local party machinery as they included some councillors as well.

It was more about collecting voting intention info (for follow up) than it is about get on the soapbox so it wasn't at all scary. I was cranked up for intense political debate .

I do lurking ambition to do a few social micro projects so getting to know the local politicans/MP could help although I am not sure that I need them.

lurking lingering ambition

tdiddy - i think your political experience pounding the streets will come in invaluable. Becoming a councillor would be excellent. I remember Lynne Featherstone (now a saintly MP re her expenses at Westminster telling the papers a couple of years ago...

"A millionaire female MP was criticised yesterday for suggesting that more women could become councillors by using their generous allowances to pay for cleaners or child care.
Lynne Featherstone, whose family once owned part of the Ryness chain of electrical stores, said getting elected as a councillor was "great, not just for its political benefit but because the money allows you to employ a cleaner, pay for more babysitting hours, etc."

Hurrah.

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How is it going wheels and GordonG?