Please help - 4 month old dd, have accepted a full-time 'dream' job. Have I made a mistake?

[kitsen]

Hello

My daughter is 11 weeks old.

I saw a job advertised, which, in my previous life, would have been a dream job. On a whim I applied for it and was offered it two days ago.

However, having now thought it through, I now cannot bear the thought of going back to work full time. Plus I would have to travel 100 miles to one of the offices at least two days a week. In addition, the money is not great and after childcare I would be left with £250 a week. My dh thinks I'm crazy to even be thinking of turning it down and that it's a prestigious job that will look great on my cv and interesting work but every time I think of what it will be like to leave her I'm in tears. It just doesn't feel worth it.

What am I going to do? I've already negotiated 4 days a week but realistically the job is full time. I'm also worried that I will let down the organisation who have offered me the position.

Please help. Thank you

Tricky
You can either start and see how it goes or let them down, I suppose they would rather be let down sooner rather than later IYSWIM, did they know your dd was so young when they gave it to you?
Is it quite a specialised job or something anyone could do?

4 days a week is pretty good considering you've not started is it something job shareable?

In terms of the money if you mean you will clear 250/week after tax/NI and childcare you're doing pretty well. My husband has paid so that I can go to work from time to time

I never imagined I wouldn't go back to work. But if I had to suddenly deal with the fact that going back was more imminent than i had imagined, when ds1 was that age and i was still full of hormones, i would have been a) weepy and b) unable to come to a "sensible" decision. So much sympathy.
You will lose something from going back. Only you can judge the relative merits of at home/at work - just completely personal...i think...

Sorry,career girl through and through. Without going into the ins and outs I have had to realise that the dizzy heights of where i initially thought I was going to end up have come to a dead end because I just can't fulfill what I need to and be a good mother as well. Was I gutted? Yes. Am I still gutted? Yes? Do I resent it? Yes! Can I change it? No. Are there any benefits? Yes! DS!! I would not stop being a full time working mum for anythng although my "changed" job doesn't "do it for me", but I have son! Priceless!! Would like to not to have to work at all now!!

I know it's corny, but in a decade, what will you regret most, do you think? Potentially limiting your career options, or missing out on a good chunk of your daughter's babyhood?

It's so hard, isn't it. I don't think an ideal solution exists. If it does, I've not discovered it. Good luck with what you choose.

£250 after a week over after paying childcare is quite a bit, lots of mums only break even in the early years when childcare is most expensive.

How long do you have before the start date? Are you happy with your childcare?

If you truly dont want the job then let them know asap so that they can hopefully send an offer letter to the next best candidate without having to go through all the interviewing and costs again.

I went back to work when DS was 18 weeks old. I started travelling again overseas when he was 6 months.

I don't regret it at all, and I think that if you turn down a dream job, you will regret it. After all, if you do this for 6 months and hate it (and I would give it at least that long before making any decisions), you can always find something else.

Clearing 1k a month after childcare is pretty good money imo too

thanks all so much for your responses. i bit the bullet and was honest with them and they have offered me a job share option, which, although less money, I hope will work out.

£250 a week is over £1000/month, which is what I will take home BEFORE CHILDCARE when I go back to work - not bad in my book.

just go for it, if it was your dream so see if this for real, may be you just tired to be at home with baby and need some break.

well done that's a really brilliant result!

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