"please give me some work" letter - please help!

[AnnieLobeseder]

I'm starting out as a freelance proofreader, which means I need to find myself some clients! I've put this letter together to serve as a template for writing to scientific publishers, but I fear it's pretty rubbish. Please help, oh wise MNers!

Dear {}

I am writing to you in the hope that you will consider making use of my proofreading and editing services for future publications from {your company}. I am newly-established within the industry, and determined to make my mark within scientific publishing. Qualified as both a biologist and proofreader, I would bring the following background and training to {} publication:
?BSc in molecular biology
?MSc in ecology
?Several years' experience as a microbiologist/epidemiologist for government veterinary research agencies and institutes
?Trained by and an associate member of the Society for Editors and Proofreaders
?Advanced IT skills for onscreen editing, including layout and formatting of text, figures and tables.

{} is a well-respected name within scientific publishing, and I would very much like to be a part of your modern, dynamic publishing company. Thank you for taking the time to consider my application, and I look forward to your response at your convenience.

For further details please visit my website ? www.annie's website.co.uk.

Yours sincerely

Annie LoBeseder
Annie's Company Name

annie@annie's website.co.uk

I'm not in the proofing business, but I was (until last week when I gave up my job. eek!) an editor, so my advice might not be at all what you're after, but here's my initial thoughts:

1. "in the hope" sounds just a tiny bit desperate and possibly amateur. Maybe something like, "I am writing to enquire whether you would be able to use my services as a proofreader and editor." Could probably improve on that though.
2. I wouldn't say that I was newly established at the beginning. I would add it as an afterthought after you've sold yourself with all your qualifications etc, as it puts me off before I actually discover that you're an expert in the field.
3. The last para "... is a well respected... dynamic publishing company" looks a little bit like it's come out of a 'how to send a query letter' textbook. Maybe you could personalise it a bit more to the company?
4. Delete 'at your convenience'. Make yourself sound busy and important by just saying 'I Look forward to hearing from you soon."

I would love to proof, but have no specialist skill area at all, hope you do well with your quest!

Thanks hopefully! I usually get feedback that I sell myself a little short in application letters (I have called on the powers of MN to help before) - looks like I did it again!

Great suggestions, thanks!

Good luck!

Right, DDs are with childminder/friend, and I've finally rewritten my letter. Opinions please....

Dear {}

As an experienced biologist who has retrained as a proofreader, I am writing to you to offer my proofreading and editing services for future publications from {your company}.

My scientific background includes a BSc in molecular biology and genetics, an MSc in ecology and several years' experience as a microbiologist/epidemiologist for government veterinary research agencies and institutes.

More recently I have trained as a proofreader with the Society for Editors and Proofreaders. I am also an associate member of this society and involved in their mentoring programme.

In addition, I offer advanced IT skills for onscreen editing, including image manipulation, layout and formatting of text, figures and tables, placing me in a position to help {your company} in all aspects of final line editing.

I would very much appreciate the chance to discuss opportunities within {your company} for proofreading and editing work.

For further details please see my attached CV and visit my website ? www.annie's website.co.uk.

Yours sincerely

Annie LoBeseder
Annie's Company Name

annie@annie's website.co.uk