Currently signed off, discussion with boss tomorrow, any help please

[rookiemater]

www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=employment_issues&threadid=69666-Seriously-thinking-about-asking-to-be- demoted-please-help#14190023

There's a long history to this, hopefully thread link above works. To try to cut long story short, in Nov went in for Lap they discovered v severe endometriosis couldn't get rid of all of it so put me on menopause injections for 6 months to calm it down and hopefully help with TTC no 2 after I have finished them.

Medication and probably concern over my future (am v likely to require hysterectomy in next few years)have meant that I have not been myself over the past few months.

I have struggled on, foolishly probably in retrospect, sometimes putting in a good performance but latterly being overwhelmed by work and by some performance issues I have had to address with the team.It all came to a head as I was in tears all the time and got my GP to sign me off for 2 weeks
which is something I have never done before but felt I had no alternative.

Only been with my boss since about August when the pain was getting really bad, and since then I have been on the medication.

Although the injections have now stopped and side effects should be wearing off, I'm far from the person I used to be. I'm worried about conceiving in the next 6 months and I'm concerned about the long term effects of the Endo.

Plus in the time I have had off, whilst its artificial as DS is still going to the CMs some of the time and we have the luxury of my salary coming in, its been nice not to be stressed all the time.

I do want to go back to work, but want to reduce hours which I have briefly discussed with my line manager and he sounded broadly amenable, and I do think that I need to cut back on my management duties as I'm not in a good place ot manage others at the minute.

I'm seeing the doctor tomorrow then my manager. Do you think I should discuss a phased return to work ? How best to position with my manager re my thoughts ?

(Try this for the link.)

It sounds as though being signed off sick was a good idea, to give you a bit of breathing space rather than trying to work it all out while still on the rollercoaster.

I'm glad your boss is sounding reasonably supportive, or more than previously anyway going by your earlier thread.

Are HR involved at all? You mentioned no OH being available in your previous thread but it would be unusual for an employer to have an employee assistance programme without any OH provision, so I would double check that. OH input into things like temporary adjustments to hours and responsibilities would be good.

In terms of a phased return, that's normally to ease people back in after long term absence. You've only been off for two weeks so if you want to go back shortly I think a longer term reduction in hours would be more appropriate, particularly given the fact that actually the problems may be more ongoing anyway. Your doctor should have opinions on what might help you best.

In terms of relinquishing management responsibilities, that may be a good idea, as stress seems to be a major factor. However you need to think about how it will work in reality. Things to think about include:

What will happen to your team, both short and longer term? Where will your management responsibilities go? What will be the impact on others? Will it be easy to get the responsibility back later? How much later would it be? Is it adjusting your job slightly or a more major change?

You don't have to resolve all those issues yourself, but giving some consideration to the practicalities and impact for all concerned is a good idea.

Thanks for taking the time to respond fbg and being fabulous at links

HR aren't currently involved. My manager prefers to look after things in house if possible. I believe this is from the best of intentions, but I do feel in my case that an OH assessment when I first came back might have prevented this situation but didn't feel strong enough to discuss it rationally at the same time.

We are in a time of flux at the minute at our organisation, so I think the whole area may change anyway. Unfortunately I don't know when that change may happen and worry that my time off work may have jeopardised any opportunities, but I'm unsure about that.

I definitely want to reduce hours. It has been something I have wanted for a long time and even having more time and not being not so tired and stressed when I'm with DS has led to him being even more affectionate and conversely less demanding of my time. There is a precedent for that in our department so I think things could be juggled around to accomodate it.

Regarding the grade and responsibilities. I have lost a lot of self confidence over the last 6 months. My new manager is a lot more exacting than my old one and in normal circumstances I would welcome that because it gives me the opportunity to develop, but at the minute I just need to go in, do a job and go home again.

Whilst over the long term I don't relish the thought of voluntarily reducing my seniority and salary, I'm beginning to think it might be the best way to maintain a position in the organisation, as I worry that if I don't and I drop a day I will just be making things even harder for myself on less pay.

Even in good health I'm not blessed with endless energy and I find it hard to maintain household, small child, job and marriage ( oh and mn habit )At the moment it seems like a good option to drop responsibilities, because otherwise I will be like the white rabbit endlessly running around forever.

I'm rambling now so I shall stop.