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My final personal statement.

4 replies

MadameCastafiore · 29/04/2009 21:05

How does this sound? (It is for a job in a school 15 hours a week as an admin assistant!) I have spent hours trying to make it sound ok - think I have to go throuhg and check grammer now!

Thank you for the opportunity to apply for this position, which I am now able to do as my youngest child is starting school in September 2009. It would be an ideal position allowing me to have a role outside of the home, which I feel would give me a great sense of self worth, as well as much needed mental stimulation, but still be there for my children when they are at home.

I pride myself on my organisation skills and being able to prioritise my workload by using my own initiative and believe that working as part of a team as well as having the ability to use my own initiative is a very important skill in any working environment. This was incredibly important at when I job shared. Mrs XXXX, my job share partner, and I rarely saw Mr **, as he travelled extensively, therefore we had to work on our own initiative whilst being sympathetic to the fact that we were sharing the work load, delegating between ourselves according to our strengths and weaknesses.

In terms of my technical ability, throughout my previous employment I have been fortunate enough to gain practical knowledge and experience of various software packages (Lotus Notes, Ami Pro, Quicktime, Powerpoint, Word, Excel etc). At XXXXXXXXXXX I had to collate huge pipeline reports using Excel for my managers to present in meetings to their superiors and to keep a record of which distressed debt opportunities had been agreed on and which had been declined and the reasons for such decisions. I was also in charge of the attendance and holiday application database, which was Excel based, helping to make sure holidays of senior members of staff in our department did not clash and we were adequately staffed at all times.

I would relish the challenge of applying my strong administrative and organisational experience to a role in an educational setting because it is a completely different environment to which I have previously worked in, one that as a parent I am particularly interested in. I would be very happy and willing to learn new procedures and guidelines and support the teaching staff and pupils and really develop the role into my own.

OP posts:
TrillianAstra · 30/04/2009 15:31

Hi, just about to read but bumping for mre people to see

TrillianAstra · 30/04/2009 15:35

I think maybe you need to start with why you're interested in the job because of what the job is, not just because it's at convenient times during school hours. I think the last paragraph could almost go at the beginning.

Do you have a job advert/person spec for the job? What skills and experience does it ask for? Have you addressed all of those points in your statement?

flowerybeanbag · 30/04/2009 19:47

Is this on an application form? What does it say this section should cover?

I agree take out the stuff about your personal family reasons for wanting the role. Everything in this statement should help you get an interview and that stuff is irrelevant and takes up space. This should be selling you - how you'd be great at the job, why they should want you, not the other way round.

Do you have a job description/the advert or something to work from? Have you made sure you've addressed every criteria in here, all the areas of experience/skills/qualities they are requesting? It needs to be very very easy for someone to skim read this and tick off all the boxes.

Don't use other people's names in it. You can just refer to 'my job share partner' and 'my line manager' or 'the headteacher' or whoever Mr X is.

I think it's a little bit wordy as well - look at the second paragraph for example, you've used 'using/use my own intiative' twice in the same sentence.

hobbgoblin · 30/04/2009 19:49

c$an you post the spec?

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