Smelly staff member - advice from HR people?? or fellow managers?

[pickupthismess]

Hi

I've said to DH I'll get the good ladies of MN to help him out with a staffing issue.....

He is a senior exec and one of the staff (also pretty senior) who comes under one of his staff (i.e. two tiers below) has started to smell. They work pretty closely together but there is a social distance cause by seniority. A fellow Director has raised this prob with DH and obviously people have started to complain.

He doesn't think it is BO and it isn't drink but it is quite rank apparently. The view seems to be that DH should just 'call him in'. But although junior to DH he is older and DH just doesn't know how to approach this without causing enormous offence and demotivating/embarassing this staff member.

As anyone had to deal with something like this? or has any ways of approaching this sensitively but successfully?

If he's two tiers below your DH why is this person's immediate line manager not dealing with it?

I don't see that the person's age is relevant tbh, the embarassment problem is the same regardless of how old the person is. It's always going to be a difficult issue to raise.

I am firmly of the view that dealing with this type of sensitive situation is part of people management so if I were your DH I would not be allowing this person's direct line manager to abdicate responsibility for dealing with it.

However, whoever ends up dealing with it, it is going to be embarassing for both parties, there's no getting around it. If it iisn't BO and isn't drink, the possibility that there is a medical issue needs to be considered as well. I would say this man's manager just needs to meet with him, say that a few people have unfortunately noticed this smell, ask if he is aware of it at all, and discuss together what it could be, is everything ok physically, work out together what steps can be taken to deal with it, and find out if any additional support is needed.

in this type of situation it's the manner used that is important, not necessarily the words, I am sure your DH can be tactful, supportive and reassuring which are the important things.

Thanks. DH has to deal with it because a fellow Director and Board member raised it with him. He doesn't feel it is appropriate to involve someone below him to deal with it.

Hi, DH had to deal with this when he appointed someone (the panel said, 'nice guy, but shame about the whiff'). He kept it matter-of-fact and avoided any cringing/giggling etc. by saying something on the lines of: 'X, we are very pleased with your performance and potential, but there is one piece of feedback I need to share with you: Some colleagues have said that you might have BO - [quickly] that's human, we all have minor issues to deal with. We all think you would progress even further if you deal with it.'
It worked, apparently - he sorted it quickly.
If the colleague is a sensitive soul (I gather BO appearing suddenly can be a sign of depression - person neglects hygiene, sweats more, etc.), it might be too harsh a method.

He has started to smell, as if it's a recent thing? Could this be due to medical reasons?

Is there any possibility of sending him to occupational health first to rule out any physical causes? If it all comes back fine, then your DH is seen as the 'good guy' who just wants to review his progress. Your DH says to his junior, 'well, there have been a few concerns which I am sure you aren't aware of, but would like occupational health to give an opinion...' If it's physical, then it gets confirmed. If it's a matter of hygiene, then he will have had a shock and will make more of an effort.

I have a colleague who smells. It is not nice and it is unnecessary. I think it is because he is a single man and just doesnt wash his clothes frequently enough. We had a similar incident previously a few years ago and the Director spoke to the person and the situation was resolved overnight. I dont know what they said, but the person concerned obviously didnt realise there was a problem. Your DH must deal with it frankly and directly to him, but keep it brief and do the old praise sandwich thing as toadstool suggests (praise, nasty thing, praise again).

It is a difficult decision, I agree, but TBH but I would be a bit disappointed if I thought a Senior Exec where I work was having to ask his wife to post on mumsnet. Does he not have any supervision himself or HR where he can seek advice?

I have had to deal with this before, the person who I had to speak to had such bad odour you could tell he had been in the meeting room before you. I called a meeting with him, had a very honest discussion about feedback we had received from clients and he seemed genuinely shocked.

We went out into a communal area to grab a drink and then went back into the room and he immediately wrinkled his face and noticed the smell, was very embarrassed and apologised but the problem was sorted. He did leave shortly after though and I think this was a contributing factor unfortunately.

Your DH should either grow a pair and deal with it himself or delegate it to the person's direct line manager. Personally, I think it should be dealt with by the LM, and I would delegate it, with guidance.

Is it old man trouser smell, or worse?

janmoomoo I offered to check out ideas here because HR have been useless and his own boss works at the parent company abroad. DH is fine dealing with issues of behaviour, performance etc but this is so personal. I think men find it harder.

A few people have said it could be medical - like how?

DH is convinced it is not BO. He says it smells like extremely strong 'dog' or similar and the guy does have a dog but this is v recent.

toadstool I think your suggested approach would be right.

DH is dreading it. Although the guy is 2 tiers lower they work alongside each other a lot.

i have had to deal with this a couple of times nad have always said words to the effect of. i have noticed that you have a body odour issue at the moment, i wanted to bring it up with you before anybody else in the workplace noticed and before it became an issue.
there is nothing worse than the person thinking that everyone in the office is talking about them.

it could be a laundry issue - not washing clothes or washing but not being able to dry clothes properly so they smell damp? This is such a sensitive issue, and an awful one to have to deal with, but think flowerybeanbag has written what I would have posted.

(tho also like Nancy's suggestion)

When your DH has dealt with this issue, could you send him around here to have a quiet word with my DH?
The buying of RightGuard and bluntly saying "You need a shower. You smell of onions" does not seem to be working.

I had to deal with this issue at work and I was in early pregnancy where I was acutely aware of bad smells.

It was so bad that when I tried to talk to her I was retching so much I could hardly speak.

I eventually managed to say "Your washing machine has broken down hasn't it? Because it's not washing your clothes properly."

I didn't need to say any more, problem was resolved.

Showed DH this thread last night and he was he now thinks he will try Nancy's idea but will ponder yours too thanks flowery. He seems a lot happier since he saw them!! Though still dreading it. He said the guy smelt a little less rank yesterday.

I do like nancy's idea (nancy am I following you around to agree with you?!) as that implies that no-one else has noticed. Much easier to be embarrassed in front of one, concerned colleague than a roomful.
Oh and do it near the end of the day so he can go home almost straight away!