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Original poster

Bloody office politics.

17 replies

poshsinglemum · 22/04/2009 15:03

I have been off work for a year now since dd's birth and I have loved every second.
I will have to return to work in the future but I love hate office politics. I am so bad at them. I hate the whole arse licking competition and I hate being told what to do. I am a nightmare and often jepordise my career by arguing with managers.
What can I do to help myself?How will I cope being a mum at work? Is it best just to bury one's head in the sand and totally avoid the staffroom? I think that the references from my last job are rubbish as I fell out with management. Would love from work from home tbh.
How do you deal with office politics.

OP posts:
Original poster
poshsinglemum · 22/04/2009 15:04

?

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AMumInScotland · 22/04/2009 15:09

What do you fall out with them over? I hate the whole politics thing, but if my manager wants me to do something, then I do it - I don't think that's politics, just the reality f being an employee.

SusieDerkins · 22/04/2009 15:12

Getting on with people you work with or work for isn't office politics, it's just life.

Just get on with your job, avoid gossip, don't judge people and don't argue. Be a team player, help people out and generally be a good work mate.

southeastastra · 22/04/2009 15:13

how old are you? i've found i've got less argumentative as i've got older and tend to let it wash over me now.

Original poster
poshsinglemum · 22/04/2009 15:19

I agree but thios is quite an ususual case that could only happe to me.
When I was pregnant and working as a teacher the kids set up a website on Bebo which was basically a hate website about me. I think that they were piossed off because I told them off. Some of the comments were violent and when the kids found out about my pregnancy one of them wrote ''We killed her baby with a rugby ball.''
Naturally I wa sdistraught. I was already with being dumped by dp and I had to deal with thois too. My line manager told me that I could have invited the bullying as mabe my classroom management wasn't good enough or mabe I should not have told the kids I was pregnant. This is making me upset just writing about it. The kids guessed that I was pregnant as I had a bump. duh.
Naturally I went ballistic and strongly contested the point taht it was my fault.
I also asked my manager to give me some targets to achieve a si was doing my teacher training year and I felt taht he was directionless. He obliged but gave me twice as many targets as the other NQT. When I struggled to achieve all of the targets within a week's timeframe (5 targets a week) He then used this as evidence to suggest taht I was crap and not listening to him. I did achieve all of teh substantial targets but not always within teh week as i was struggling with a difficult pregnancy.
My colleagues thought that he was going to fail me at all costs. Whatever I did was not going to make a difference.
I felt taht management hated the fact taht I was pregnant and single and didn't want to take responsibility for the hate website. They suspended the pupils but I still had to teach them.
I am not work shy and just want to get on with my job but I am fed up with being a target at work. I just find it so hard to get ahead and I think it must be my personality.

OP posts:
Original poster
poshsinglemum · 22/04/2009 15:19

I agree but thios is quite an ususual case that could only happe to me.
When I was pregnant and working as a teacher the kids set up a website on Bebo which was basically a hate website about me. I think that they were piossed off because I told them off. Some of the comments were violent and when the kids found out about my pregnancy one of them wrote ''We killed her baby with a rugby ball.''
Naturally I wa sdistraught. I was already with being dumped by dp and I had to deal with thois too. My line manager told me that I could have invited the bullying as mabe my classroom management wasn't good enough or mabe I should not have told the kids I was pregnant. This is making me upset just writing about it. The kids guessed that I was pregnant as I had a bump. duh.
Naturally I went ballistic and strongly contested the point taht it was my fault.
I also asked my manager to give me some targets to achieve a si was doing my teacher training year and I felt taht he was directionless. He obliged but gave me twice as many targets as the other NQT. When I struggled to achieve all of the targets within a week's timeframe (5 targets a week) He then used this as evidence to suggest taht I was crap and not listening to him. I did achieve all of teh substantial targets but not always within teh week as i was struggling with a difficult pregnancy.
My colleagues thought that he was going to fail me at all costs. Whatever I did was not going to make a difference.
I felt taht management hated the fact taht I was pregnant and single and didn't want to take responsibility for the hate website. They suspended the pupils but I still had to teach them.
I am not work shy and just want to get on with my job but I am fed up with being a target at work. I just find it so hard to get ahead and I think it must be my personality.

OP posts:
Original poster
poshsinglemum · 22/04/2009 15:20

I do feel more mellow now I have dd.

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AMumInScotland · 22/04/2009 15:31

So, is this a different school you are going into, or back to the same one? I think if it's a new one then you need to put the previous experience behind you - it sounds like this specific manager had a problem with you, which there's no reason to believe will be repeated at the new school. Do you think he had any valid points about your classroom management? If so, perhaps you need to discuss with your new management how best to improve your skills in that area. But blaming you for being bullied isn't a great attitude, whether or not there was anything you could have done differently.

Original poster
poshsinglemum · 22/04/2009 15:33

i do think he had some valid points but he should not have used it to excuse my treatment by kids. i think he just dealt with a crazed pregnant woman very clumsily!

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Original poster
poshsinglemum · 22/04/2009 15:34

im going to a new school if i return to the profession.

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AMumInScotland · 22/04/2009 15:55

Well, I don't see any reason for thinking it'll be bad, if it was just an issue with that one person - he doesn't seem to have handled the situation well. There's always going to be a mix of personalities in any work-place, but if you try to treat people with respect and get along with them, it doesn't have to be a problem.

Original poster
poshsinglemum · 22/04/2009 15:58

I know. I've just had one bad experience after another and I know taht I'm partly to blame but there are certain things that I'm not good at. I'm just not great at playing the game. In all honesty I'm not sure taht teaching is for me and i am considering a career change. I hated school and teaching remoinds me of that!

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AMumInScotland · 22/04/2009 16:09

Oh dear, that doesn't sound like a great career choice then! I don't know what teaching is like as a job, but perhaps you need to look at what things you are good at, and what you recognise you struggle with, then consider what kind of job would suit you better? Personally, I'm not much of a people-person, but am very focussed and good at quite detailed and technical stuff. So I'm a computer programmer. I'd hate a job where I had to be dealing with people all the time!

You can also think about whether you can change any of the aspects of yourself where you struggle - but if they're just what your personality is like, then there's a limit to how much you can change. But we can all learn new skills, and to understand other people better, so don't just assume you can't change anything about yourself.

Original poster
poshsinglemum · 22/04/2009 16:27

Mabe that's it- I'd much rather just get my head down and get on with it. Dealing with people all day is just hard work.

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AMumInScotland · 22/04/2009 16:32

It doesn't sound like teaching is your ideal match then, maybe you should look round more widely at what jobs you might be qualified for, or could get the qualifications for. There's loads of office jobs where you have your own stack of work and your own targets, and can focus on that - maybe a weekly team-meeting but not lots of people-time.

GetOrfMoiLand · 22/04/2009 16:36

In your first post you state that you hate being told what to do. Unfortunately that is part of life and if you resent that, it doesn't matter what career choice you make you will always have a dispute with management.

Original poster
poshsinglemum · 22/04/2009 17:17

i know. it's a bummer really. i don't really mind being told what to do if it's reasonable and in my job description. I just feel that I may be better suited to working from home. Although then I'd have to deal with customers so whatever I do I will have to improve my people skills.

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