should I go back when dd's 6 or 9 months?

[Ginni]

I'm wondering how dd will react on going to a childminder full time and whether it will be any easier for her at 6 months than at 9 and vice versa (in terms of her awareness and how much she will miss me - is there likely to be much of a difference?). I have to make a decision this week whether to go back to work as intended at 6 months, or to request an additional 3 months at SMP. Does anyone have any advice?

I went back at 9 months and found it the perfect time for my DD. She is almost one now and just starting to get a wobbly lip sometimes when she is left at nursery but knowing she has been with no problems makes me so much more confident to leave her.

I think at 9 months she was better with solids etc and could really engage a lot more with the activities, was sitting well, your DD might even be crawling/ walking.

That is my experience have never had to leave a 6 month old, hope it helps a bit!

leave it as long as possible, i took 13m in the end and got a loan to cover the unpaid bit. best money ever spent.

I went back when mine were 3.5 mths so I was a bit knackered but they adapted easily!

I thought 8-9 mths was supposed to be full-on stranger anxiety - for me it would be hard to go back after that long I think!

How much time will DD have to get used to the childminder?

I would leave it as long as possible - the older they get, the more independent of you they seem, plus you will have had a whole 50% extra of her life with her! She might be going through separation anxiety at 9mo, it's true, but that is a phase that happens anyway regardless of when she starts at CM. So I would just take as long off as you can. I took a year and it was wonderful.

If you can afford it, 9 months, so you will have done most of the initial weaning and won't be worrying about the childminder trying new foods and getting into a new routine.

IME they can go through the separation anxiety anywhere between 6months and a year so you won't know when it will be anyway.

Plus you get an extra 3 months of maternity leave with your DD!

i vote for nine months tbh as much for your sake as for your dd's - you will feel more sane about it, less sleep deprived, maybe more keen to get back, you will be well into weaning and she may be crawling/a lot more independent which somehow you will feel better about (ds just seemed so little still at six months, at nine months he felt somehow sturdier). we didnt get separation anxiety then either - there was a big clingy phase a bit earlier around 7 months i thnink (panic set in as i had a month to go at home) but was over it by the time i went back - tis random when it strikes.

I went back when DS was 10 mths and he was absolutely fine. Hardly even cried / noticed I was gone. After the second week he was as happy as larry. I was the one bawling my eyes out .

Thank you all for your advice - in the end I decided to take an extra 2 months off, I wouldn't feel comfortable sending dd to a childminder before she has even started on solids, especially as i'm still exclusively breastfeedig. It'll be a struggle but i'm hoping to claim a couple of weeks annual leave within the 8 weeks to to help the finances.