Time to go back FT?

[Pendulum]

I have a well paid professional job that lets me do PT hours. But I am bored, am fairly sure I have got s far as I can go in my firm, and keen for a new challenge in a new sector. Of course, all jobs advertised are FT and I think it would work against me in applications to state that I would rather work PT.

I do love having my day at home with the DCs, but wonder how long it is compatible with career progression. I could either coast in my current family-friendly position for a while longer (after which I will be another x years senior and it may be harder still to make a switch): or I could bite the bullet and go back to FT work, losing out on a day with my DCs. Not working is not an option financially and in any event I enjoy my work and see my long-term career in this area. I only wish I knew what I would regret more in future, sabotaging my career or missing out on that one day a week.

Has anyone faced a similar decision? If you went bck to FT work, what would you say was the impact (if any) on you and the DCs?

Hi Pendulum, I went FT after both my DDs. But
after DD2 I have been working "flexi hours" with this I mean starting early in the monring and finishing in time to do school pick up. Even though I work FT as I don't work "normal" hours it meant that I couldn't take a managers position, as I didn't want to loose all the afternoons. But may be when my DD2 is older, she is now just 4 I might change my hours if that is what I have to and want to do to progress in my career.
I don't know how old your DCs are, and I think the older they are, they are less dependent on us being there.
I would probably do the move if I was bored at my job, and moving to a FT job doesn't mean that it couldn't be working from home some times, or doing different hours that 9-5.
I always have the idea that I have to be happy at my work, even thought for me work is not everything, but if I was unhappy at my job, I would move very fast to something that atracted me more.
Good luck in what ever you decide.

Thanks for your message CeciC. Sorry I haven't replied earlier, I have not been on all weekend.

Yes, I think flexi time is a great solution. It's certainly soemthing I would like to explore with any prospective new employer. What I'm not sure about is how open new employers are to flexible working requests- yes I have a good deal at my current place, but I had time to build up goodwill and trust before my first mat leave, which I'm sure helped my case.

My DCs are 5 and 2. Interesting what you say about them being less dependent as they get older as I have often heard people on here say the opposite- that school age kids need you more. It's not clear from your post whether you rely on childcare/ after school clubs etc at all. I have had really positive experiences with my DCs' carers but wonder what the effect of giving up the one day a week that I am totally there for them would be.

5 and 2 is still quite little. Full time with flexibility or compressed hours/working one day a week from home may be feasible options. You may be surprised at what they are happy to accomodate for the right candidate. Can you do some research on the firms you are applying to to find out which of them have a more 'family friendly ' culture?

I coasted pt until my ds were both at school so I can't really advise you.

But I just wanted to say that I have never fully grasped that idea that children need you more when they are at school. I'd heard that too. I haven't found that to the case at all. I have never felt that my absence was felt any harder by my school age dc than my pre school dc.

LadyG- good idea re: research, although in my area family friendly is something of a new concept! But you are right that I need to get myself in front of them and impress them in order to get them to consider my requests.

Pointydog, that's interesting (and encouraging). If you are now FT, did you find your career had suffered from your years of 'coasting'? Do you find FT work and school age children manageable? (I do lots of errands, chores etc on Fridays and can't magine squashing even more household admin into my weekend in order to work FT)

ahh well, when I started considering going full time again, I decided to retrain and then get a ft job in new field.

If I'd stayed in teh same area, I missed out on one pseudo middle management type top as I was pt. So yes, I very much saw my job as being on hold a bit while I was pt and the dc were young. But I wanted it to be on hold.

And you're right, it is much harder to squeeze chores into evenings and weekend. You will miss that day.

Hi Pendulum,

I worked part-time when my dd1 was little, then had the opportunity of a new job (and career) and decided to go FT.

After dd2 I returned to work FT.

I really enjoyed my new job and it was fantastic in terms of my career. We also had really good childcare so it all worked out well.

I don't think I could say that my dc needed me more at any particular age, I think they just needed me differently.

Because I had done well in my career, I was able to change how I worked when my dc were teenagers. I could not have predicted their needs - too old for childcare, too young to be left on their own. I worked from home during this time and it was great having that flexibility. I was around "for a chat" and to provide a taxi service for them!

Good luck with your choices.

hi Pendulum,
What I meant was that they can do a lot of things by them selves, they don't need you to play with them all the time, but they need you if they have to go to after schools activities, or they want to have friends at home for a play. That is why I like to do the school pick up so I can take them to swimming and other activities, or to have friens home for dinner.
My childcare provisions are a mixed of Breakfast club in the morning for DD1 and Childminder for DD2. If I need to work late my DD1 can go to the after school club, which she loves and always complains if I pick her up earlier than her friends.
You were comenting about house chores. I have started to have a cleaner once a month to do a proper clean of the whole house, but until a month ago I did all the chores(well DH help a little bit). I am not someone that needs to have the house always clean and perfect, so if one week not a lot of cleaning was done, it was ok.
When my DD1 was born all the mums that I met while in ML were going to be SAHM, but for me it was the choice or my DD1 having a Happy mum for some hours a day or an unhappy mum all day, and I thought that the first was better, and still now is my conclusion.

Hi notsoclever, I like the perspective that your post gives a lot.

My feeling is that I need to take myself out of my comfort zone now in order to build for the future. I could continue with my current job while both the DCs are small, but I worry that it will reduce my choices when they are older. The more expertise I can accumulate now, the greater my chances of setting my own working conditions in the future like you (or indeed, like Xenia seems to!)

I hope you don't mind me asking, but did you feel that your DD2 missed out on spending the extra time with you that your DD1 did? I think I would struggle with this a bit.

Ceci, I completely agree with you about the Happy Mum bit!

Personally I don't think dd2 missed out - but then it is very difficult to tell. I don't think that I was a particularly creative / exciting Mum (my daydreams of days spent making little biscuits and art projects with the dcs never quite worked out in reality).

We had great childcare, so dd2 got lots of stimulation and opportunities that she wouldn't have had if I'd been at home. We also used some of my wages to pay for a cleaner and someone to do odd jobs, so that all the time I had at home I could spend with my dds, rather than worrying about other things.

My relationship with each of my dds is different, but then they have very different personalities. dd2 was a very happy, cheerful child and is now a cool, confident 16 year old - now that is a whole set of other problems!