Somebody please reassure me it gets better leaving them in nursery!

[Baconsarnie]

I know it's been done countless times before, but I need reassurance! Just dropped off my DS (11 months) at nursery for his third settling in day. As soon as he realised where he was he started sobbing. I could hear his sobs as I left. I feel terrible. Please somebody tell me it gets better and he will settle in!

It does get easier, though I am currently on Mat Leave with DS I am due to go back to work in 7 weeks & although do feel the guilt of leaving them I know that they will both be fine!
DD used to chase me out of nursery crying but I used to sneak a peak through the window after I'd walked out & she had always stopped crying seconds after I'd left the room! Think its the initial leaving that does it but once they are distracted by other kids / activities and toys etc they are fine.
Can you ring the nursery to check he's OK mine tel me to ring as many times as I need to.

It will. DS started at nursery in October when he was just 1. He would sob when I left, hold out his arms - heartbreaking stuff. He would often cry when I picked him up too though they said he was fine in between times. He was getting better by Xmas, then had a bit of a set back after having a week or so at home but it's been getting better and better since then.

This morning, it was big smiles when we get there, gave me a kiss goodbye and went off to play with his keyworker.

Try and always talk about nursery in a positive way - the things he can play with, the people he's going to see. Don't prolong dropping him off, give him a kiss and tell him you'll be back later and go. Don't let him see that you're upset.

I was only talking about this with the nursery manager yesterday. I picked dd up at the end of the day and as we walked out, the nursery manager was saying, 'oh she's so cute, such a good girl, blah blah', and I was saying, 'not all the time, sometimes I'm glad to drop her off!', and she said, 'I wish you could have known that when you used to leave sobbing every morning when you dropped her off'.

It does get easier, I promise. Dd loves nursery, and sometimes, yes, she does protest when I drop her off, but in the main, she runs in and starts playing. She has been going two days a week since she was 9mo, and is now 23mo. I always make a big fuss in the morning about how much fun she's going to have, and who she is going to play with, and am really positive about it. Would second everything that Hensmum said.

Both my DDs started full-time nursery at 2yo. One was fine for 4 days then cried for about 10 the other did the more typical thing of being fine the first day and then crying for about 10.
Now, 6.5 months after she started, when I go to get her she'll look up, smile and sometimes just go on with what she's doing, other times she comes running to hug me, either way she's happy.
They usually stop crying soon after you leave and start when they see you again but between times they are fine.

Just called and he's gone for a nap. I suspect he's cried himself to sleep though. Thanks for your words of support, it's good to know it gets better!
Do you think in future I should say goodbye to him or just run out the door when he's looking the other way? I don't want to trick him, but at the same time I don't want to prolong the agony (for either of us!).

I always say goodbye, but quickly. I make a big fuss when I go in, 'Oh, look at the dolls, oooh, there's the garage, good morning x!' And then I hand her over, say, 'Have a lovely day!' and leave.

If she has been crying when I walk out, I stay by the door (out of sight) for a second, and she always stops the minute I leave.

I nitially I tried to build it up on the drive to nursey to give DC the idea that it was like a "day out" and would therefore be fun. After a few days both DD and DS took to it and seemed to really look forward to it - not sure what that says about being at home with me instead .

A big, positive Goodbye, and Have a lovely day, and then go.

Ds's current room looks out over the car park, and by the time people have walked down the corridor and to their car, the child at the window 'to wave bye bye to mummy' has stopped crying - even when in floods

Now its light in the evening its very hard to prise DS out of nursery - they'll be in the garden playing, and he wants to stay !

Roll on that day, CMOT!

It gets better. Promise . A few weeks in and my DS didn't even notice me leaving.

It does get better. I had this too and used to sit in the park opposite the nursery and blub for ten minutes. DS has now been going to nursery for 3 years plus and is fine.

My ds is midly autistic and hated me leaving him at the nursery/assessment centre (although as everyone else has said, he was fine by the time I had reached the car!). He now goes 5 sessions a week by special needs taxi (without us!)and loves it!! He goes straight to the taxi when it arrives without a backward glance to us.

It takes time for them to build up confidence to go somewhere new without you, who they have had with them pretty much all the time from when they were born! Your ds will get used to the routine of going just as you will get used to the routine of leaving him. Time is a wonderful thing!!

Always say goodbye and be honest about when you'll be back. Then wave through the window with a big smile...and go round the corner and fall to pieces!
I have to say though, there have been a couple of mornings where DS doesn't even notice me going and I'm a bit put out that I don't get a bit of protest!