It's really tough some days. I've had days when I've been in tears and unfortunately was actually crying on the phone to my boss who is the least sympathetic and caring man around one day.
I've been back at work for 11 months now and it has taken me this long to come to terms with things. I'm not offering you any good advice here I'm sorry.
I think it is hard enough to go back after having had a child as you feel out of it and that you have to catch up and it has to be how it was before you left. I don't think that is actually right but I think that is how we generally feel. I went back after 4 months and our company had merged, there was a team I had to work with which I had never had to do before, we were going through a redundancy scheme which I had to help implement, the lady who had covered for me whilst I was off had made detrimental comments about myself to my new boss who I had never worked with and who didn't know me (I found the emails when looking for something else). I was expected to still put in the long hours although had committments to pick my son up and so on. It is incredibly hard. I ended up having a couple of months of work with stress which is something you would find very surprising if you knew me.
What you need to do is have a good think about what it is you want. Decide what it is you want from your career and personal life and be happy with the decision you have made. Talk with your boss or if she/he is not a good person to talk with find someone in the business who is and who will listen to what you have to say. Make sure your boss doesn't feel like they have been cut out of the picture though as this may cause problems further down the track.
This is all very easy to say and when putting it in writing doesn't actually express what I really want to say. I do know how hard this time is for you and how much you will be struggling with everything. It is a struggle and don't forget that others are also going through that struggle with you.
I decided that I did want to work that I do want a career but that career won't be with the company I am currently with. I have also decided that the career I want will not interfere with my role as wife and mother and that whatever company I work for will have to understand that I have external committments. I am sick of feeling like I should be in the office until 8.00 each evening. I work hard in my time in the office, don't waste time on things that aren't my responsibility but always assist or put my hand up if I feel there is a need for something that no one else is doing. It's taken me a long time to realise all of the above and I went through a lot to actually understand this but I am now comfortable with the actions I have to take to achieve my goals. I want a career so I can provide for my family but I don't see why they should suffer in the course of achieving this. There are other women out there who think the same and over time the more of us there are the easier these changes in what is generally a male dominated world will become.
Keep your chin up. You will fall pregnant again. Rejoice in your child and your husband/partner and what you have at the moment. Remember the grass is always greener on the other side.
I'm so sorry I'm not really helping you. If you need a drink one evening and live somewhere in London then I am more than happy to catch up and help you drown your sorrows. I hope I'm not preaching to you as I don't mean to be I just wish I could help in some way.