I have changed my name for this message, although I think a lot of Mumsnetter will guess who I am......
About 5 months ago I put my ds's name down for a summer playscheme. It was just before she started school, and I thought it was a great way for her to spend a few weeks of the summer holidays, whilst also solving the problem of childcare. It is for 3 weeks in total. The rest of the time either dp and I are sharing it, or our childminder is helping out.
Well, when dd started school it was a really big change for her, although she had been going to nursery for several years beforehand. It was quite a shaky start for various reasons. For around six weeks she was very upset at being left at school, although she did apparantly calm down quickly once I had left her. Then she made best friends with another little girl in her class, I'll call her Nicky, they became inseperable, and this means that she loves going to school now. The teacher has also told me what a great team she and Nicky make not just during playtime, but during classroom time too. They work well together and support each other.
During this time, I started to realise that me leaving dd at a playscheme where she does not know anyone is simply out of the question. I really know that she would be miserable there. She is quite unsure about new social situations, and would hate to go anywhere like this on her own. This has always been the case really, for instance I have never been able to leave her at parties, on playdates etc, but I suppose I was being optimistic when I booked the playscheme, and it was before she started school so I had not seen for a while how she feels about doing new things. Anyway, I happened to mention this to Nicky's mum and she immediately came up with the idea that the girls go together to the playscheme. This is such a fantastic idea, I know my dd would have a great time because she would already have a friend and that would help her confidence no end. Also, sharing the dropping off and collecting would obviously be very useful to me.
So far, so good.....but at the weekend I got a call from Nicky's mum. As Nicky will be just under 5 and dd is just over 5, they will be put in different playgroups and not allowed to do anything together. Not even eat lunch. I am really disappointed, but I also feel that it is a ridiculous rule - of course there has to be age differentiation, but to seperate two girls who are in the same class at school just seems ridiculous to me. I have today phoned and checked the situation and that is the case. There is no room for negotiation at all.
Now, this is where the dilemma comes in. I could (I think) just say stupid rules, won't bother with them, phone up and tell the playscheme that I have just been checking through the documentation they have given me, and I have found that they have got dd's date of birth wrong. That solves the problem of dd and Nicky being together. And as the playscheme is run by the local authority, and there are no other ones available, I don't have the option of using another playscheme that has different rules. Or I could phone up, cancel and get most of the money refunded and be in a real dilemma about what to do over the summer holidays.
A big part of me feels that lying for whatever reason is wrong. When I have heard about people lying about religion, where they live etc in order to get a school place I have always been secretly mortified and really what I would be doing is no different in many ways. And of course, there is always the possibility that I would get found out, how ashamed would I feel then?! But then there is another part of me that really thinks this bureaucracy gone mad, and that it wouldn't harm anyone at all........
So, what would other people do in my situation? Am I being a Bad Mother in thinking about lying? Should I just resign myself to the fact that the rules are the rules and this time next year it won't be a problem?